The Crazy Rants of Samantha BurnsBreaking news on Drudge Report: Another Possible Mad Cow Case Discovered
U.S. might have another case of mad cow disease on it's hands.
While I could remind my American friends how absolutely insane the US went when Canada found it's first mad cow case before the US, I'll pass on the cheap jab. Hmmm... Maybe I won't. Basically, Canadian beef was banned with extreme prejudice. The border was locked up tighter than nun's underwear. True, the closing more likely had to do with protectionism and less to do with mad cow disease, but, wow, did American officials go nuts over the issue!
Being a Canadian, I thought I'd put out some helpful hints for my American friends on how to spot cows that may be infected with mad cow disease. The signs are often subtle and unnoticeable to the untrained, but having worked on a farm in a former life there are some sure signs of unhealthy beef.
Here are signs your cow may have mad cow disease:
- You notice the cow preferring the taste of other cows instead of their typical diet of grass, hay and grains.
- Mysteriously, you see cow patties forming crop-circle patterns in the field, without any reported UFO activity.
- A milking cow may suddenly produces espresso milk frappe instead of regular milk.
- You notice a cow wearing a stereotypical French beret.
- You notice a cow obsessively watches Judge Judy through the farmer's living room window whenever the show airs.
- A cow suddenly breaks into a chorus line dance with its rendition of "Hello my baby, hello my darling, hello my rag-time gal."
- You notice a cow digging holes and burying grass as a dog might bury a bone.
- Night after night, cows mysteriously disappear while the cow bells of the missing cattle collect around the neck of a suspiciously behaving cow.
- You could absolutely swear a cow is staring at you whenever your back is turned.
- Finally, your cow has the "mad cow look" as follows...
click here to listen to the sound of a mad cow
