The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

This is one job I would be thinking twice about mentioning to friends. Imagine all the jokes that Frank Mitloehner hears when he tells people that he is a cow flatulence researcher in California.

"There are more than three million cows in California, the vast majority living in the booming Central Valley, home to some of the most polluted air in the country. How much to blame the cows and how much to blame the cars for the bad air is no small concern," USA Today.

According to Mitloehner's gaseous research, which is still underway, cows emit less VOC's, volitile organic compounds, than thought previously. Furthermore, he was shocked to find that the majority of the emissions left by cattle was coming from their gas rather than their manure. The main compounds that are released are methane, methanol, and ethanol.

The question exists for emission regulators, farmers, and enviromentalists, "Is this something that we really want to do, try to regulate a living thing?" said J.P. Cativiela, a program coordinator for Dairy CARES USA Today.

Of course because Mitloehner's aromatic study may prove that cow farts are not bad on the environment, enviro-nuts everywhere will probably be up in arms trying to dispute Mitloehner's research, claiming that there are other factors negative about raising cattle on farm lands. For instance, the land should be left to grow naturally without herds of cattle trampling it, masses of waste will destroy the earth, or PETA would be in on it, perhaps whining that cows belong in a natural habitat instead of being cooped up behind fences. But *sigh* if we must eat meat and use dairy, we'd better make sure they are free-range cattle.