Errors I'd Like to See

That there is The Truth Laid Bear's error message.
Here are the error messages I'd like to see:
(1) Your obsessed. Give it up! You were an Insignificant Microbe and you'll remain one forever!
(2) Reload this page one more fricken time and I'm going to come over there and whoop your arse!
(3) I have to have a break too, don't I? So, shove off!
(4) I don't feel like loading your page just to tell you that you are still a nobody.
(5) Let me just say this, your chances of getting on the top 100 are about as good as convincing your typical moonbat to love Bush. Now, piss off!
(6) Don't bother loading this page. It will only depress you anyway.
(7) Commodore c64 tape device failure! Please rewind tape and press play.
(8) Want the good news or the bad news? You're just an Insignificant Microbe. That was the good news.
(9) What's the point? Do you really need to know that a blog about sea turtle poop is ranked higher than you? Save yourself the grief and give up now!
(10) You are in the same bloody position as you were 5 seconds ago. How many times do you need to read it to believe me that you don't matter?
The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns






















Comments
I can tell that this comes from experience.
I can really identify with #1, #4, #5, #6, #8, #9, and #10.
I'm going to go cry now...
Posted by: MacStansbury
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September 23, 2005 06:05 AM
heh
I didn't discover the TTLB Ecosystem until I had been blythely blogging away for over six months. Installed all the requisite code late one evening, etc., and TTLB Ecosys duly noted the 41 visitors Sitemeter reported the rest of that day... and has reported the same 41 visitors ever since, regardless of what Sitemeter's site reports to me or what Statcounter or others report.
I figure the TTLB Ecosystem is just for fun. My son felt depressed when he reached Flippery Fish and felt he'd slipped on the evolutionary scale (even though the ecosys called it a step up).
Do what you want. Attract the readership that likes to read your "crazy rants" and keep on truckin'. After all, most of us blog just to get the voices outa our heads, anyway.
Posted by: David | September 23, 2005 10:20 AM
Hey David,
The reason why you only show 41 visitors forever is that your sitemeter stats are not public for the world to see. If you make them public then TLB will correctly reflect your readership. I know, as Sam had the very same issue.
Yes, TLB is for fun. :)
Shhhh! The voices in our heads are supposed to be a secret amongst bloggers!
Posted by: MrBig | September 23, 2005 10:27 AM
It's too bad TTLB is so flaky... it might be more fun if it were more reliable. Signed, just another Fappy Bird. :)
Posted by: Dave Diamond
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September 23, 2005 02:18 PM
So what rank are you currently at anyway?
I must admit I've recently risen to Slimey Mollusc and it's a strange and somewhat embarrassing thrill.
Arp! In a moment of slimeyness let me say you're looking mighty fine in your biopic. Crazy, but in a hot-Rebecca-DeMornay kind of way, not in a norma-bates kind of way. Just hot. Enough said. [/Slimeyness]
;)
Posted by: Drogidy | September 24, 2005 08:15 AM
From what I can see, it may be for the best...
Posted by: Sinequanonblog | September 24, 2005 10:13 AM
Drogidy - thanks for the compliment, and I'm glad someone out there doesn't see me as crazy in the Norman Bates kind of way, lol.
My TTLB listing is at the bottom left corner. Curently Large Mammal (worked hard, hard, hard to get there, too, although that's not my goal in blogging), but once you make it there, you have A LOT of work ahead of you to get any higher, which is the way it should be. Something you get easily can't be worth going for, eh, so I'm glad I have to prove myself.
Posted by: Sam | September 24, 2005 11:20 AM
God, you made me click and go check my own.
No, it's not a disease easily cured. I'm three spots behind my most-hated blog and now I'll have to go on an obsessive link hunt with an open trackback post again.
:sigh:
(Which reminds me--get inline trackbacks set up on here, and do open trackback posts. It'll help.)
Posted by: Beth | September 24, 2005 12:11 PM
Well ... very nice. Don't give up. You must keep going on and (who knows) some day you will be a "Mortal Human" as you deserve and you are, in fact. Don't bother. Have a nice week and receive a kiss from a "crawly amphibian" in Portugal.
Posted by: looking4good | September 26, 2005 05:53 AM
Those are so great. I love it!
Posted by: Jan | October 7, 2005 07:28 AM
What I hated was the few days I was a Large Mammal then a Marauding Marsupial back up to Large Mammal then back down to Marauding Marsupial over and over THEN I stayed in Marauding Marsupial and everytime I get just a few more links (I am usually 5 to 10 links under Large Mammal) The threshold goes UP a few more! That man is EVIL ;-)
Posted by: Dan Kauffman | October 18, 2005 02:06 AM
oh yeah that's right I was a Marauding Marsupial too. I got to go change my post on the subject. The funny thing is I have no idea how I got there. Oh yeah, I visited several hundred sights and left comments. I took a couple of weeks off and now I am just a freeeeak.
Posted by: ron | November 25, 2005 04:00 PM
I just noticed that TTLB just reset the evolutionary scales. Now I'm a microbe instead of the fish. :( That's just mean.
Posted by: Steve | November 28, 2005 04:26 AM