The Crazy Rants of Samantha BurnsLet's Rap About Apple
It's been reported that Gwyneth Paltrow's baby daughter, Apple, is a Rhythm and Blues fan.
Gwyneth states, "She loves R'n'B music; if Jay-Z comes on, she starts dancing!"
First off, yes, that is the poor kids real name, Apple. Ok, you can stop rolling your eyes now.
Hollywood - if useful for nothing else, they are at least good for a laugh. Unfortunate for them, it's the laughing at them not with them that stings.
Second of all, WHO THE F***ING H*LL CARES! If it's you, let me know so that I can KICK YOUR A**!. I'm really curious why anyone would consider this to be important news that must be broadcasted worldwide.
You may claim that I'm also guilty of reporting retarded news, but I am merely doing it to express my sheer disgust for it. I am also reporting this because I was subjected to such torturous news that I want to bring everyone down with me. Oh sorry, I meant (finger quote) news (end finger quote) because this can't seriously be taken as legitimate NEWS can it?
My questions are what other weird baby names is Hollywood going to come out with, why do they do this to the poor kids, and when is this senseless behaviour going to take effect on the rest of society?
Comments
Jay-Z is not RnB. Jay-Z is hip-hop.
but, then again, we're talking about Gwyneth "I can't stand America because it's too much like a teenager, give me mature Europe and it's old...buildings Paltrow."
they don't make RnB anymore. it's just slow porn music with singing.
Posted by: MacStansbury![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.samanthaburns.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 22, 2005 03:55 PM
Wah wah, wicka wicka, wah wah.
That's my porn music imitation.
Posted by: Sam | September 22, 2005 04:05 PM
I honestly believe it's like some sick contest in Hollywood: Let's See Who Can Give Their Child The Most Effed Up Name.
And this is why I choose to ignore it.
Posted by: Maidink | September 22, 2005 04:18 PM
I guess Britney Spears could name a child Asparagus...
Posted by: The Incurable Insomniac | September 22, 2005 05:39 PM
Goog God, I hate Hollywood! I wish they would keep all actors in a deep cave in the earth's crust, and only bring them up to the surface when it's time for them to act in a movie. So that way we wouldn't have to see them, other than on the big-screen, and they wouldn't bother us all with their stupid views and opinions on politics and all their unimportant crap that they do on a daily basis. And I HATE knowing that the whole friggin world looks at our stupid-ass celebrities and says, "So that's what Americans are like." And, "that's what America is really like." Damn I hate those celebrities, just SHUT UP ALREADY!!!
Posted by: Paul | September 22, 2005 05:57 PM
Glad to see that I'm not the only person that hates the name Apple or the stupidity of Hollywood.
To the previous commentor, Britney can't say Asparagus, let alone spell it on a birth certificate!
Posted by: Al's Girl | September 22, 2005 05:57 PM
Or Helen Hunt could name a baby boy Isaac or Mike.
Posted by: Stevo in HCM | September 22, 2005 05:57 PM
You know, I'll volunteer to be the name police and bring the smack down on stupid people who think they can make up names at will.
But then I just like bringin' down the smack.
Posted by: Karl Elvis MacRae | September 22, 2005 06:10 PM
nuttin like a lil'
bow chicky bowww wowww...
now that's a porny jam!
Posted by: Peakah | September 22, 2005 06:19 PM
Peakah - we should form our own band singing porn tunes. That wall graffiti of yours was freakin' hilarious.
Posted by: Sam | September 22, 2005 06:49 PM
And the latest one: Kal-El Coppola Cage.
Posted by: *lynne* | October 4, 2005 11:27 AM