The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Losers, you're all losers!!! Nobody guessed correct; therefore, Difster is still the reigning champion by guessing the correct answer to the last Moron of the Week question.

Martha Stewart is Moron Of The Week #2. Foremost, the moron joins PETA *shudder*. Hmmmm, what's worse looking at Martha's ugly mug on TV or clubbing a baby seal for fur? That is one difficult question to answer. Sorry, but if I knew red paint wasn't going to be splashed on me, I'd wear that baby seal skin with pride. Heck, at least I'm aware that wearing fur would be supporting the lifeblood of the Inuit people (that's the Eskimo to the US); not only that, but the meat is used, as well as the innards, bones, etc. So get off your high horse Martha, fur is good.

Another one of Martha Stewarts latest moronic feats is her newest reality tv show, The Apprentice. 'Goodbye' is her slogan, which is quite different from Trump's 'You're fired'. Lol, I can just see it now, like trump trying to copyright his slogan, Martha will get a bigger head than the one she already has and will try to copyright the word "goodbye". Moron.

Word is out that Martha's "The Apprentice" is a dud, though. It seems that the show misses its mark in showing a ruthless, evil b***h that Martha so easily could have portrayed prior to her prison term. Aw, has prison made you soft, Martha? As BusinessWeek Online says, the show "misses a vital ingredient: A Stewart who bares some nails." Maybe all her nails broke off during an attempted prison break? Or perhaps she's just gotten too soft after her bruise incident that warders were certain was from an inmate fight (later found out otherwise to the embarrassment of Martha).

Yes, moron Martha was shackled in the Big House, but I'm sure it's not the big house she was hoping for with all her insider trading money. Redecorating the house you were in was a b***h wasn't it. Such drab colours; bet you were just dying to fix up the place. Here's a pic of her Prison Palace

And, let's not forget that while in prison, moron Martha tried to whittle away the time by pretending the place was Yale. Now there's an insult to higher learning if I ever heard one.

After being released from prison, Martha tells reporters "that she didn't miss cappuccino, she missed the idea of cappuccino". To that I say, Martha you are like a fine cup of cappuccino, we didn't miss you, only the idea of your cardiganNazi, moronic characteristics.

With all the lying and deceit that got her thrown in prison in the first place, who knows, she could become the next president.

In the true moronic wording that she's known for, Martha also mentioned her disgust with house arrest, claiming it was "hideous". Well, Martha, "it's a good thing" we didn't have to hear you for those 10 months you were in prison; we got a break from you moronically telling people what to do and how to do it.

Stewart is reportedly writing a book. I wonder what she'll call it... Jailbird, Yale Is Jail, Fur Is Murder, Martha Stewart (to serve her egotistical side), 101 Reasons Why Prison Food Sucks, or my personal favourite because I wish it were true, Martha Stewart Says 'Goodbye'.

Come on, Martha, you're 64, ever thought about early retirement??? For our sake???