The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

At a Polish hardware shop, they are offering an hour at a brothel to customers who spend 10,000 ziotys ($4065) on construction material.

Apparently, this idea came to the hardware store boss after the owner of the brothel came into his store for some paintbrushes. He proposed the idea to the bordello mistress who accepted the business deal.

So far, two people have earned the vouchers, but none have utilised them.

I guess this is quite the incentive to go tool shopping:

Go in for tools to get a job done, and come out with a voucher to get another [blow] job done.

I think I'll take one of those electric drills, and I'll also go for a drill at the old bawdyhouse.

Hmmm... can I purchase one of your vice grips, oh, and a coupon for the den of vice.

That hydrolic system I bought at the hardware store sure was uplifting, especially after I cashed in my voucher.

Bought protective gear (goggles) at the hardware store, but brought protective gear to the brothel.

Bought a drill jig at the hardware store, but got jiggy with it at the brothel.

Bought washer screws at the hardware store, but washed after my screw at the brothel.

Bought an "oops" hole arbor from the hardware store, but really hope I don't get an "oops" hole at the brothel.

Bought a leather strop at the hardware store, but got the leather strap at the bordello.

When I go to the hardware store/cathouse, I don't just wanna hammer, I want to nail her.

Hey, they can even make t-shirts to go with this:

Went into the hardware store to get a screwdriver and all I got was a lousy screw.

K, I'm done now.