The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Moron of the week #5 is Michelle Kosinski because she so deservingly gained the title. And, because nobody guessed correctly, despite the double meaning hint "by the looks of things, I'd say that this person could be in deep trouble", Shockingly Provincial remains enthroned.

For those who haven't heard, perhaps you're wading on the sidelines not knowing about the news of the week, Michelle Kosinski is a news reporter for MSN Today show who deceived us all about the water catastrophe in New Jersey.

Okay, so we weren't really deceived since two men walked by her in ankle deep water while she was fake paddling a canoe, giving away her story that ended up being rather farcical, even to the news anchors.

So, here's the story if you haven't heard it yet (the video footage is available on that site). While Wayne, NJ had accumulated 8 days of rain water, Kosinki decided to take advantage of the story.

"In an apparent effort to draw attention to herself, in [October 13th's] segment she turned up in hip waders, standing thigh-deep in the flood waters.

Taking her act one step further, [the morning of October 14th] she appeared on a suburban street . . . paddling a canoe. There was one small problem. Just as the segment came on the air, two men waded in front of Kosinki . . . and the water barely covered their shoe tops! That's right, Kosinski's canoe was in no more than four to six inches of water!"

It was a pretty shallow act, if I may say so myself.

What makes the story worse is that immediately before her staged performance, the Today show attempted to bash the Bush administration by implying they had staged a video conversation between the president and a soldier.

What is probably the funniest part of this moronic attempt by Kosinski is that the news anchors even had a little fun at her expense. A conversation with Matt Lauer and Katie Couric ensued:

Matt: "Are these holy men, perhaps walking on top of the water?"

"Gee, is your oar hitting ground, Michelle?" inquired Katie, as she and Matt dissolved into laughter.

Even Michelle Malkin had fun at her expense by showing an image of a wading shoe and by sharing moron Kosinski's feeble attempt at an excuse.

So, I guess Kosinski's up bullsh*t creek without a paddle.

What's more is that she once was voted as Best Reporter in Charlotte by the city's magazine for "her straightforward approach". It doesn't seem to straightforward to be purchasing a $1500 canoe, setting a canoe in 4 inches of water, and making like the rushing waters were about to capsize her vessel (ok, I exaggerated a little there, but I was learning from the master, moron Kosinski).

Rub-a-dub-dub, one sorry excuse for a reporter in a tub.

Her story sounds as far fetched as Al Gore's did in 2000 when he had 4 billion gallons of water, or $7.1 million dollars worth of water at the time, released from the Connecticut dam so that he could get a photo-op. It was believed that Gore had the city release the water so that he could canoe downstream "to highlight a $100,000 grant to the Connecticut River Joint Commission".

You know, it's pretty sad when morons like Kosinski want to be trusted as believable reporters, and yet they pull off stunts to mislead the viewer and inflate a story. But, then again, from what we know of reporters, they are used to lying to us just to sell a story.

News stories make you think deep about things. So deep that you need a canoe... or galoshes.

Sorry Kosinski, your story's all wet. You've become nothing more than a fictional story teller to me.

For more on the Kosinski story:

The Political Teen

For more on the Al Gore story:

Gore Lieberman 2000 Unofficial Hypocrisy

Kokonut Pundits

This was a tough one, but maybe someone will dethrone Shockingly Provincial next week.