The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

The power of Glock compels you - ha! I'm going to use that one on my application for a concealed weapon permit.

How to spot a Righty Tighty:

1) They are very passionate about letting a fetus out of the womb so that he can grow up and later die fighting for the wars they started before he was born, or at the very least, live to pay off the debt they accrued before he was even conceived.

2) They all have one syllable names.

3) Their Rebel flag decal never covers the Chevrolet emblem on thier extended cab pick up trucks.

4) They never "officially" come out of the closet.

5) They pretend to worship god by putting his name on the currency that they actually worship.

6) They have more ties than tennis shoes.

7) They think the main stream media is out to get them.

8) The only time they aren't wearing a cheap suit is when they're wearing camo on their weekend "retreats".

9) They smell like mothballs.

10) All the lists they make have constant references to guns, killing, and eating people.

Hope that was helpful.

3. Do you feel that America should be policing the world?

Right answer: Well, of course. Let me explain, say for instance your neighbor beats his wife every night and you can hear it though your cheap apartment walls. Now, you being a person that believes in justice and freedom, you can do one of two things. A) wait around for the woman to call the cops, which she will never do because she is oppressed and living in fear. B) take your Louisville next door and beat the SOB to death. I take option B.

Ha! But the real question is - would the wife beating neighbour be more likely to be a loopy lefty or a right wing troll? Seeing as all the answers to the other questions in this quiz seem to indicate that 'loopy lefties' would not embrace violence in any scenario, the only possible conclusion is that the right winger is the wife beater.

Ergo, the crux of the problem seems to stem from the right. Which makes the whole questionnaire a rather backwards compliment for left wing ethics.

A righty woman woundn't need for you to bring your bat-more likely you would hear the BANG of her Glock going off, and her screaming "I warned you if you ever touched me again I would blow your head off you SOB".

In my world if you were my friend you would say to me "buddy if I don't make it you can eat me".

And as far as running the rest of the world is concerned, the rest of the world can eat my shorts, not to be confused with buddy you can eat me.

You left one out Haywood!

11.) They all have higher IQ's,are financially solvent,and are much better looking than those on the Loopy Left.

Diane what's the weather like there in the Bizarro World? I've never been myself, but if Righty Tighties are actually intelligent in your world, I'd love to visit. Over here in the real world the Righties are so dumb they think that having the most credit cards means they're wealthy and they think using Grecian Formula makes them good looking.

I have ONE credit card, paid monthly, no matter the balance, interest sucks don't you know? I'm 51 years old, and to date don't have any gray hair, but if I did I sure wouldn't use Grecian Formula, that's a man's product. If I was going to use hair coloring I'd use Loreal because I'm worth it. I've been accused of a lot of things in my life but never of being dumb. I don't believe children should be made to go to war, but if they enlist, they need to serve their time honorably and defend the country they thought they were going to get a few years war free ride from, and I would hope that there were many others who would see it as their patriotic duty to enlist if a call was issued. Your remark referencing people that are pro life as warmongers is nothing short of blatant stupidity. I have a 17 year old son and I wouldn't want to see him in any type of war, but if he went I'd be proud of him and support him in any way that I could. If he were to be killed serving his country I'd be heartbroken but it would of been in the service of this great nation and for the most important cause of all, FREEDOM. You know which nation I mean? The one that allows us to write anything we want to in a public forum without fear of retribution.

PS-
I haven't been to Bizarro World since the last time I dropped acid about 28 years ago.

What an interesting if reductionist test. I'm vaguely "leftish" yet would use the gun and eat my buddy given the situations. However the "policing the world" thing is a little dicey.

Your metaphor of the battered woman is a little too simple. I'd add a few more points. After killing the batterer, the US often then turns the woman out to prostitute herself as payback. And we might also ask her to kill a few other people just to pass the love on. When the woman either can't or refuses to continue to prostitute herself, a little roughing up might be in order just to make sure she knows who's boss.

I think that fleshes out the scene nicely, don't you?

hi i am samantha.Samantha kroeger that is.my mom is ether shelly or michel junge now is kroeger.