The Crazy Rants of Samantha BurnsTop 10 Reasons Why Women Are Happier
Here is a list of the top 10 reasons why women are happier than men, or at least, why they should be.
1. the kitchen's all ours
2. we get control of the wedding plans and we get to look the best at our wedding
3. chocolate makes up for orgasms that men rarely give us
4. reading men is like reading an open book, whereas men can never understand women
5. we can get into a popular bar much easier than men; we just show some cleavage
6. we don't fart, we fluff
7. we know how to colour coordinate
8. we can build a man's ego just by asking him to open a jar
9. we get doors opened for us
10. we're not as hairy and we don't have to shave our faces
11. we aren't too chicken to ask for directions
12. scratching ourselves is not an hourly event in our lives
13. we can do two things at once: comprehend what someone tells us while we're watching tv, or pack a baby on our hips with a toddler holding our other hand and push a shopping cart while checking our grocery list and getting the cheapest, best products off the shelf.
Okay, so there were more than 10 reasons. I guess that's because it's just so darn good to be a woman.
Update: Sam you've been Fisked :P (HA-Mr. Big)
Comments
Of course you realize *this* means war... ;)
Posted by: Andrew | October 28, 2005 08:07 AM
Ha ha!!! Being a woman does rock!
Oh... we can flirt with cops to get out of tickets too!
Posted by: SeLiNa | October 28, 2005 09:42 AM
I shouldn't tell you this as I could get in a lot of trouble with the guy guild, but guy's DO ask for directions. However we're not allowed to when women over 10 are in the car.
btw, even though it's random and you probably don't control it, thanks for the blogroll. :)
Posted by: David Neylon![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.samanthaburns.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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October 28, 2005 10:45 AM
I need LOTS of chocolate.
Posted by: Diane | October 28, 2005 01:52 PM
Top Ten Reasons Men Are Happier Than Women
1. We don't have to sleep in the wet spot.
2. We have the affection of the far more lovely and talented sex.
3. Very little is expected of us, so when we do something right, it's usually a welcome surprise.
4. Vasectomies are far more expensive than the pill.
5. Childbirth.
6. Peeing in the snow. Don't judge if you've never done it; it's really quite exhilirating.
7. Having an orgasm is not a complex ritual requiring the right mood and a precise alignment of moon and stars.
8. Sagging is not as much of a threat to our emotional well-being.
9. High heels, panty hose, make-up, bras.
10. With the creative use of commas we can limit a 10-item list to ten items.
Posted by: Tony | October 28, 2005 02:27 PM
Great List!
Posted by: Leesa | October 28, 2005 03:10 PM
"We don't fart, we fluff."
Bollocks. I've heard some women drop some rippers.
Posted by: peemil | October 28, 2005 07:31 PM
Nice list. I suspect this list can get longer. But let me comment on Tony's top ten for men.
If you haven't experienced childbirth with the superhuman quality of a woman, you would know that this experience tops most all experiences. I did it without pain killers, or Cs Section, while my twin brother cowered over in the corner cringing in the family waiting room. He claimed he felt each contraction. I laughed when I asked him about the never ending peak before the push. :)
Posted by: Dee | October 28, 2005 09:13 PM
"If you haven't experienced childbirth with the superhuman quality of a woman, you would know that this experience tops most all experiences."
I'd say all women haven't experienced the joy that comes from relieving yourself after a large curry with all the sides , 12 pints of lager, a kebab and various assorted shit from the hot box.
Now that ladies- Is magical.
Posted by: peemil | October 29, 2005 04:57 PM
Samantha said...
3. chocolate makes up for orgasms that men rarely give us
Mrs. Lost Budgie comments...
? I don't understand this one.
Posted by: Lost Budgie | October 31, 2005 01:28 PM