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YAY, voting is closed, the survey is complete, so don't bother clicking the vote things at the right hand side unless you enjoy wasting a bit of time for no reason, lol.
The buttons will remain up there, though, because I'm likely to be needing them again in a few days for round two voting.
I will let you know Friday where I stand once they have posted the finalists.
Thank you very much to all who voted!
It was weird and amusing, the six year old of the house said something today that sounded to me like he said, "poor kid's tv".
I wasn't sure what he'd said for sure, so I asked MR.BIG to clarify what the boy said. "What is that?" I asked.
MR.BIG's response, "basic cable".
I think it was a "you had to be there" moment.
FYI - no need to panic about me going "Canadian" on you all, lol.
I realise I've been sharing more Canadian content articles since I was nominated in those award categories, but I expect to be back to my "normal" self by tomorrow.
Even if I go on to round two, which is most likely, I will not be going overboard on the Canadiana the second time around.
Some of you might enjoy reading it, but I don't enjoy writing so much of it because there's so much more I can be writing about, like dumba$$ celebs and weird news from around the world, oddities of daily life, etc.
I love my country, but I don't have to prove that by writing about it constantly.
You are searching for tits, huh? I've decided to be nice to my readers and I've found a non-scam site where you can view your "needs". Just follow the link link here. Now back to the article...
Nobody can acquire wealth by doing nothing.
It takes hard work, effort, patience, and someone's a$$ to kiss to get anywhere in life.
Here's the hint for Moron of the Week: This person has acquired almost instant, inflated success.
Another great find at this site, although I'd change it to reasons to live in the Vancouver area because it certainly does not apply to the rest of BC:
TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA:
1. You don't have to worry if it is going to rain - it's already raining
2. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges to the 'burbs
3. The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder
4. The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar
5. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown
6. You have a university with a nude beach
7. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations
8. You have a fleet of old rusted ships that you got for free from China
9. There's always some sort of forest protest going on somewhere
10. People here never get a tan - they rust
Apparently, they are planning on fixing that 2 BRIDGES issue, but only because the 2010 Olympic Games are coming here. Nice, eh? They can't do it for the people who live here, but they can make it look good for the rest of the world when it comes time.
What are they going to do, take the extra bridges down once the games are over?
In light of my nominations for the awards, I thought I'd share with you all, a site filled with some uniquely Canadian products.
Ladies, have you ever put hemorrhoid cream on your face for moisture? Well, some Canadian women do as the Canadian made Preparation-H with Bio-Dyne can relief dry, cracked skin.
Sounds tempting?
Well, how about going all out for some diabetes and weight gain as our sweets, such as chocolate bars and maple syrup are considered by many to be the sweetest and tastiest.
I have been nominated for both the 2005 Canadian Blog Awards and the 2005 Weblog Awards. Each have their own instructions.
Vote for me DAILY - 2005 CANADIAN BLOG AWARDS: Best Humour 
Blog, Best Personal Blog - make all selections before you submit your vote for me in both or one category.
I appreciate all of your support and good luck to everyone involved!
THIS POST REMAINS ON TOP, SCROLL DOWN FOR MORE SAM.
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
"As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round." [by Life...or something like it]
Contributed by Blogonomicon
Jerry Hall appointed as new ambassador for erectile dysfunction, some sufferers experience immediate relief.
On Tuesday Bayer HealthCare announced that Texan model Jerry Hall is their new "ambassador for a campaign to encourage people to be more open about erectile dysfunction."
In what some doctors refer to as the "Oh Yeah! Syndrome," 7% of those afflicted suddenly ceased suffering from dysfunction upon merely hearing her name.
A further 30% reported some alleviation of such dysfunction after a thorough study of the new ambassador.
One hundred percent of erectile dysfunction sufferers who were surveyed, as well as several other guys who just happened to wander in off the street, reported that they are looking forward to seeing more of Bayer's new spokesperson.
This articlel contributed by Blogonomicon
Thanks be to Macstansbury.org for inspiring me to write this article when he sent me this link, Cox and Forkum.
It is rather pitiful what Canadians are going to have to deal with for the next 55 days.
Yes, it's true. The politicians have got an idea!
An awful idea!
The politicians got a wonderful, awful idea!
From now until January 23, 2006, Canucks will have to endure mindless speeches and political messages from various political parties such as the Liberals, the Conservatives, Bloc Quebecois, and the New Democrats.
Much like the Grinch's tale, politicians have a similar frame of mind:
The Canadians' sanity, the politicians grinned, are the first things to go! Then they slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant, they plotted their campaigns, to steal the media presence.
And, I think the stupidest thing about it all is that most Canadians are not happy with the Liberals and yet they continue to vote for them, which I think is for fear of change. And, in believing the lies.
Yes, our politically fake Santy Clauses will lie...
There's more money for health care to clean up the system, so we're taking it home to our workshop to fix 'em. We'll fix it up there, and we'll bring it back here.
One possibility with the election, is that the same thing will happen this time as it did last time we had such a long-running campaign. The last lengthy campaign was in 1979, which was 66 days long, and ended up in a re-election for Pierre Trudeau, who happened to be Liberal.
Gee, no kidding, Liberal, huh?
If you couldn't already tell, this election reminds me quite a bit of a certain holiday-themed movie, book, and tv Christmas special, which will likely be cut short or interrupted this year for some lousy political ads.
And, by lousy, I mean sh*tty, political ads (and by sh*tty, I mean cr*ppy, low budget, Canadian tv commercials, sh*tty) all through our festive season.
Yup, and favourites like How The Grinch Stole Christmas will likely be cut short for long-winded speeches on issues we know will never be dealt with properly by our future elected Prime Minister.
We won't likely get the chance to watch the cutting of the roast beast because it will be replaced by the cutting of the bullsh*t.
When considering the decision for a January election, truly, our politicians are much like the grinch, only their hearts did not grow 3 sizes that day.
And, much like the Whos of Whoville, British Columbians, always minorities in the voting polls, will be left with nothing, but the Who-hash. And, how appropriate for this drugged up province.
Despite their efforts, though, the grinches of Canada will not take our spirit away. We'll strive for a pleasant Christmas regardless of their grinch-ish-ly tactics.
Sorry politicians, but you'll have to try harder to keep Christmas from coming!
For the Grinch story and other grinchy info: The Grinch Blog
This article is linked to:
Dianes Stuff who's sick as a dog right now. Hope I don't catch it, lol.
Right wing nation has some good news and some bad news. Go there to decide which is which.
NIF has links galore for your perusal.
Conservative Cat's Funny Stuff shares some good ha-ha's to go check out.
Rempelia prime loves Canada and pancakes. Therefore, Canada must = maple syrup.
Stuck on stupid has gone pc awol.
Third world county has done some serious reader roundup work with blurbs on what's going on in this crazy blog universe.
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Regime Change in Canada? [by Jeremy-Gilby-dot-com]
Wednesday Politically Correct Linkfest Party [by Stuck On Stupid]
Get the ultimate heart attack with this 30,000 calorie sandwich. Homer Simpson would be drooling.
I don't get why, as bloggers, we sometimes put up the warning, "not work safe" for links to naughty or indecent content.
Um... isn't anything you look at while you're at work "not work safe"? I mean aren't you supposed to be, uh, WORKING?
Found this and thought it was too good to ignore: Only in Canada
Only in Canada......Is the Senate of Canada sustained by protocol, alcohol and Geritol
Only in Canada......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Canada......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
Only in Canada......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Canada.....do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in Canada......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Canada......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in Canada......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Canada......do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns in packages of eight.
Only in Canada.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
Only in Canada......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Only in Canada......can you buy Tylenol containing codine without a prescription. In fact, Jane Fonda was once stopped at the U.S. border for trying to take it home.
And, perhaps the saddest part is that all of these are truths.
1. Golden Girl Showers
2. Doing Desperate Housewives
3. ALF (Adulterous Love Fantasies)
4. Everybody Does Raymond
5. That 70's Ho
6. Mork and Mindy is changed to Porking Mindy
7. Night Rider (no change necessary there)
8. TJ's Hooker
9. Three's A Company, Four's An Orgy
10. Different Strokes... For Different Folks
Bonus: for the Brits out there - Are You Being Serviced? (this show takes place in a split-level bordello rather than a shopping mall)
As a result of the ever-growing Internet, Yahoo is catering to Canadians by announcing it has created a Canadianised web portal/search engine to replace www.yahoo.ca. I have listed some of the new and unique features below.
When searching at the new Canadian web portal, the first 3 links returned from any search will always yield links to beer companies. Priority goes to Canadian breweries as Canadians require the good/strong stuff rather than pale ale.
Further, any links containing the words "Celine" and "Dion" will be permanently removed from their database.
There will also be a translation page included in the Yahoo portal which will translate any website from English to Canadian. For example, words such as couch/sofa will be changed to chesterfield, whole milk or Homogenized milk will be changed to Homo milk, theater will be theatre, color-colour, check-cheque, and all "ize" endings of words will be changed to "ise".
In agreement with regulations on Canadian content promotion, all Yahoo images will be interspersed with photos of Wayne Gretzky.
Yahoo is also assuring the public that searching for the word beaver will result in "friendly Canadian water mammal" hits instead of pornography.
Although things seem to be going well for the new search engine, they are undergoing reconstruction to remove the glitches listed below.
Unsubstantiated controversy has been circulating that the Maple Syrup Mafia is using the site to launder the money of their obscene maple syrup profits. The Yahoo portal is presently attempting to cease the MSM abuse and misuse of power.
Unfortunately there will be no Quebec French (Quebecoise) translations. When asked to comment, one yahoo executive stated,
"Quebec Bill 101 requires that the French font size be at least two times the size of the English font, and we are unwilling to compromise the asthetics of yahoo's image. As such, we will not be offering Yahoo Quebecoise translations".
As an attempt to ameliorate the problems they are facing, the new Yahoo portal has included a few more new Canadian features:
Yahoo Messenger will now have a specialised version in second quarter of 2006, which will include emoticons featuring unique Canadianisms such as "Take off, eh", "How's it going, eh?", and "Hey Hoser".
Yahoo Canada Finance will chart the steady devaluation of the Canadian dollar against the ever-increasing taxes and cost of living.
When asked to comment on the Yahoo announcement, Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin stated: "I did not have sexual relations with anyone involved in the sponsorship scandal". Martin was later informed that he had commented on the wrong topic.
And finally, Yahoo Weather will change its forecasting to include the only necessary three levels of weather watch warnings: "it's cold, eh", "time to plug in the car's block heater", and "our seniors are moving to Florida".
By now, you've likely heard of Debra Lafave: the 25 year old teacher who had sex with a 14 year old boy. Recent news suggests that the Greco middle school teacher plead guilty rather than insane to the two charges of lewd and lascivious battery, and she will also not be serving prison time. Lafave will instead serve three years community control (house arrest), seven years probation, and be registered as a sex offender.
First off, how odd is it that this story gets so popular just because it's a female teacher? I mean, how many young male teachers have had sex with students in this world? Let's just say, so many that they even joke about it on tv from time to time, and it remains topic amongst teens in high school.
No kidding.
How many students flirt with their cute male teachers to the point of having sex with them just for a good grade and for the prestige of it among peers?
I'm not condoning either situations, by any means. It is absolutely wrong of a teacher to have any sort of relations with youth other than as strickly platonic.
I'm just saying that the media is pretty pathetic in blowing up commonplace stories just for the sake of keeping viewership. Maybe they're even hoping for a bigger scoop if Lafave were to marry her teenaged partner similar to Mary Kay Letourneau, the 43 year old schoolteacher who married a student, Vili Fualaau, 10 years after they were caught having sex when he was just 12 years old.
H*ll, the media would probably even go so far as to pay Lafave and her mate to get married just for a bloody story.
But, I digress, apparently, Six meat buffet is offering his home to Lafave to carry out her three years house arrest in his basement. And I'm sure it's legit, too, no shackles or dungeon-like atmosphere or anything kinky like that, right?
Here's a list of 135 great Canadians: 135 reasons why it's great to be Canadian.
Some of my favourites on the list include...
PAMELA ANDERSON - 'cause Canada's sexy, too
DAN AYKROYD - US and Canada come together with the awesome twosome: The Blues Brothers
JOHN CANDY - 'cause everyone loves candy
JIM CARREY - representing the funny bone in Canada
CHIEF DAN GEORGE - made some awesome "Indian" movies and some commendable political moves as a First Nations chief.
ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL - *Bring* *bring* get the phone will ya?
GENERAL ROMEO DALLAIRE: The commander of the United Nations' peacekeeping force in Rwanda, Dallaire tried to prevent the massacre of as many as 800,000 people, but his warnings were ignored.
NELLIE McCLUNG: Suffragist, helped women get the vote.
There's just too many to list here, so go there if you'd like to read more of my favourites. There are many, many others not on that list, but I think should be on it. Again, too many to name here.
This story, "Islanders pray to Jesus image on plant pot", would have been more fun and interesting to write about if this were its title:
Islanders pray to Jesus image on pot plant
Now that, would be worth writing about!
Alas, I am forced to write my own version of events since my news story idea was not available.
It seems the Caribbean island paradise, Cozumel, has something to celebrate. They are blessed with the image of their god on their favourite substance, a pot plant.
As you may know, Cozumel worships a goddess and a pantheon of gods. One of the island's great gods is known as Smokadaganja, the overseer of illusions, food cravings, and the giggles.
The pot plant is sacred to the islanders, who grow the plant high upon the divine mountain, Amaloadacrap. The pot plants are nurtured, fed, and sunbathed daily for three years by a small committee of only 4 holy men who have been given the hallowed title of Mary Jane Monks.
When it is time for the sacred plants to be harvested, the Mary Jane Monks use only special tools that have been approved of and blessed by the supreme pot priest. The plants must be harvested only on June 11th of every 3 years, the birth date of the magnificent Jacques Cousteau. The significance of the harvest date is due to Cousteau's popularising of the small island in a documentary in 1961 for its amazing reefs and underwater beauty.
As for the monks, they are not only esteemed by their communities, but they are respected for their contributions internationally by both Amsterdam and British Columbia. Once the harvest is completed, a festival, candidly called the Cannibis Carnival, is held a month later where participants parade around in costumes that look like marajuana leaves, bongs, and rolled up joints among other ensembles.
This year's latest festival is where the incident occurred. Apparently, a man adorned in hippy attire and a woman dressed as a package of Zigzags headed to a nearby cafe when they spotted the pot plant sitting in the coffee shop window as part of a Cannibis Carnival decoration.
The man and woman were startled to see an image of the great god, Smokadaganja's face rooted on the surface of the pot plant's largest leaf.
After informing the shop owner and authorities, the word got out to the public and the plant has been the focus of attention in the town ever since.
Citizens have set up a shrine, which many attend daily to pray to image in the pot plant.
Many are calling the apparition a miracle befitting of the great god.
Much like the story of the terra cotta planter being worshipped in the story linked above, the pot plant in Cozumel "is roped off with a crimson cord strung between brass poles and has a simple candle burning in front of it".
THIS POST WILL REMAIN ON TOP TODAY, SO SCROLL DOWN FOR RECENT ARTICLES.
This is a reminder to all those voting in the 2005 Canadian Blog Awards and to everyone to vote daily for all of your favourites because you are allowed to vote in every category per day.
Yes, you can vote for more than one person as long as they are in different categories. You don't have to vote for just me in only one category, you can vote for me (in both categories or just one of the two categories) and others in every category or just a few categories. I think the site's instructions explain better than I do, really, so if I'm being unclear, the site will likely clarify better.
Don't forget to lock in all your votes in the various categories before you hit the submit button so that all your votes will count for that day.
Click on the above link to vote for your favourite Canadian blog.
Sam's categories: Best Humour Blog and Best Personal Blog
Voting closes on November 30th, which only gives you a two days to get your voice heard.
Good luck to all those nominated!
UPDATE: My friends have done the simulatious voting again and apparently I'm still in second place for humour and third place for personal. Need more votes daily in both categories to really kick some snot, lol, but so far, you're all making me blush with pride.
THIS POST WILL REMAIN ON TOP TODAY, SO SCROLL DOWN FOR RECENT ARTICLES.
Peace of my mind was last weeks moron winner. Well, she certainly wasn't the moron, but O.J. Simpson was and has been since at least 1994. So, let's see how far Peace of my mind can go as champion.
It's been a couple weeks since we've had a winner hold their title for more than a week, so can Peace of my mind keep the throne, or will you be the one to defeat Peace of my mind? Good luck to all.
Here is the standard info for the game:
To your left is the Moron Of The Week posting from which you will be able to guess who you believe is the moron in the picture, then submit your answer in the comment section of this article. On Friday, I will provide the correct answer along with a link to the winning guess's site. Will you be the winner this week?
PS - this isn't going to be easy as there is no shortage of morons out there: politicians, journalists, celebrities, frothing-at-the-mouth moonbats, and the like.
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
She's Ba-ack.... [by The Essayist]
It looks like extreme unicycling is the way to go for all you adrenalin junkies.
Apparently, unicycling is supposed to be better than extreme mountain biking, skateboarding, and dare I say, snowboarding. Yup, unicyclers are taking their one wheeled monstrosities to the rugged mountain terrain to show off their "sport".
And get this, there's even a convention for unicycling. I don't know about you, but all I can hear is that clown circus song that goes, "dat da dadda dadda dat da da da".
And apparently you can trick out your ride by getting one with thick tires and a heavier axle, not to mention getting the snazzy helmet and padding. Heck, why not throw in a big red clown nose and a polka dotted jumper.
But, if you are up for watching a little extreme unicycling, here's a clip (takes a few seconds), ok, kidding, that was PeePee, the British Clown (seriously, I didn't make up that name, here's his website). But, here's the real clip of some extreme unicycling.
I'm just waiting for the day they introduce extreme tandem bicycling. Wait, let me guess, they already have that, right? I know they have tandem racing and clubs you can join, but I have not seen any rough mountain tandem activity yet. And, I wouldn't mind if I never had to see that.
How about extreme pogo sticking?
Conservative Cat shows us and explains a comment from a misinformed liberalist mind.
There are many people out there who are ignorant (and by ignorant, I don't mean being a jerk or a dumba$$, I mean, uninformed or oblivious to some facts or realities).
I'm not saying that liberalists are wrong or right in their view on the war - everyone's entitled to their opinion of it - but to state untruths and to make up stories definately shows low class and a lack of knowledge.
Anyhow, MR.BIG has previously discussed why as a Canadian, he supports the war, so I won't go on further about it.
To get over to the 2005 Canadian Blog Awards and vote for your favourite Canadian blogs daily.
My categories: Best Humour Blog and Best Personal Blog, but don't forget to vote for other favourites in other categories (not my categories, though, because you'll be voting for me in those, right? Lol, right? Kidding, of course, but still go vote.
Once again, good luck to everyone involved!
Update from Mr. Big: There are very few votes difference between the blogs in Sam's category. A single vote could make the difference! You are able to vote once per day (according to their rules), and be sure to lock in all votes for each category before hitting submit. Thanks Alabama Improper for that tip!
Quotulatiousness must be into some kinky stuff to find an interrogation like this.
I'm sure it could have been made a lot naughtier if it weren't an advertisement, though.
My Results:
The Verdict: Debauched, unscrupulous, depraved, incorrigible... Just the sort of person we're looking for. Others could easily fall under your spell. We know exactly how to treat your kind.
The Sentence: Such is the gravity of your case you should take up permanent residency. But we're feeling lenient, so a week will do. You can choose your own cellmate.
Whether you have or not, go do so at this site, 2005 Canadian Blog Awards. You can vote in every category, once daily until the 30th, and the more times you vote for people, the better chance they have of winning.
There are many bloggers worthy of an award, so I hope you head that way to vote. If it's going to be for me, I've been nominated in the categories of Best Humour Blog and Best Personal Blog.
Once again, good luck to everyone involved!
UPDATE: I've been told I'm second for humour and third place for personal.
Well, you may not get to be, but at least you can smell like him.
I know I've mentioned Alan Cumming's fragrance before, but The Moronosphere brings us a link to Cumming's fragrance advertisement that is beyond hilarious.
The Moronosphere also sends us to a link proving that Cumming is being sold for, uh huh, you guessed it, $69 a bottle.
Further, at the advertisement site, you can read how the lotion is called, "Cumming all over", "Cumming Clean" body cleanser, etc.
I love that man. Freakin' funny and Scottish to boot.
Consider this an open trackback post and open comments.
ADVICE: Trackback articles you want to promote that are still on your main blog page, rather than articles about open trackbacks. You'll still get a link either way but this way you can showcase your work (and thus are more likely to attract a reader).
Check out to the right side bar who is doing open trackbacks this weekend, visit them, and link your best articles to their open trackback article, but be sure to link those you trackback in your own article.
Please do not link "I'm having an open trackback party" posts. They are not interesting for other readers and starting next week I'll be removing those links. I have a link on the right side bar already to those whom are doing open tracks, a second link is not required. I do understand some blogging software auto-trackbacks, so you are forgiven if that happens.
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation" [by third world county]
Weekend Open Trackbacks [by Stop The ACLU]
Tax Hybrids? [by The Land of Ozz]
Saturday Morning Trackback [by The Truckin' Blog]
Oh, the Humanity [by Pirates! Man Your Women!]
Please, Sir, May I Have Some More? [by Freedom Folks]
Reid, Harry Reid [by Freedom Folks]
Why a Timetable is a Bad Idea! [by Pundits My *ss]
Convenient Targets [by Peakah's Provocations...]
The Best Argument For A 100% Inheritance Tax [by Don Surber]
The Next Wal-Mart Millionaire [by Don Surber]
We Won. Let's Go Home [by Don Surber]
Christmas 1, PC 0 [by Don Surber]
Kid's Got A New Toy [by Diane's Stuff]
Genocide: U.S. calls for more sanctions against Sudan, but Germany sees business opportunities [by Atlantic Review]
Lazy Weekend Open Trackback [by The Right Nation]
The Wretched Tale of Debra Lafave [by UrbanGrounds]
Saddam's Evil Continues [by Don Surber]
Front Page News Sun Nov. 27th [by Peakah's Provocations...]
The Knucklehead of the Day award [by The Florida Masochist]
Photoblogging The Reagan Library & Air Force One Exhibit [by SoCalPundit]
Fred Barnes pimps the Bush Amnesty [by The Tar Pit]
The Bald Heretic has the fly guy who you can make fly around and do all sorts of funky stuff.
This is a little information and history on a location nearby to where I live:
Stanley Park is a fun area of Vancouver, BC to rollerblade, bike, sunbathe, picnic, you name it.
I'll just ignore telling you about the few night crimes that take place there once in a while, and I'll focus on my favourite moments there.
When my parents took me to Stanley Park when I was a child, we'd go down to the water and I'd pick up some seashells. I also saw some starfish stuck on rocks, which was pretty cool at my age of around 6 to 10. I still have the seashells I've collected from the park.
Another favourite memory is going to Stanley Park with my grandma and visiting the E. Pauline Johnson memorial. It was significant to me because I had done a large amount of studying on Johnson in my English classes as she was a native/First Nations/Indian poet.
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
My Canadian-ness Article for Today [by Sakrata.com]
That's right folks, there has been a breach at NZ Bear's top secret computer facility. While I did not perform the breach, I have in fact received the source code to the new link counting system yet to be released. The thief chooses only to identify himself as "Red Dawn Trackbacker".
Seems that NZ Bear forgot to apply a patch to a well known exploit to his TRS-80 also known as CoCo. The system, whose dates go back into the 80s, has been aggressively attacked by hackers looking for a challenge in recent years since attacking Microsoft products has been deemed too easy a target. Unfortunately TRS-80s still contain Microsoft Basic in ROM where this exploit was discovered and the patch has been difficult to obtain in recent years as Microsoft has discontinued support for 8k Basic (or any application that fits in 8k for that matter).
Some bloggers have questioned behind closed doors the authenticity of this source code and NZ Bear has neither confirmed nor denied the source code as genuinely belonging to his system.
While I would consider posting the source code as a breach of copyright, I will share some pseudo code logic for those whom are programmatically challenged.
while (system_is_still_barely_running())
{
count_links_from_site()
if (site.links_to("Don Surber"))
ignore_links();
if (site.links_to("OTA member"))
count_links_as_1_tenth_a_link();
if (site.links_to("Instapundit"))
randomly_inflate_links_value();
if (site.member_of("Big Blogger Friends of Mine"))
artificially_keep_blog_at_top_100();
if (site.mentions("NZ Bear in positive way"))
move_up_in_ecosystem();
if (site.contains("open trackback party"))
treat_blog_as_evil_spammer();
if (site.contains("carnival"))
pretend_links_are_not_evil_spamming();
if (site.contains("huge shared cheating blogroll"))
count_all_links_anyway();
randomly_order_blogs_despite_ranking();
}
So, there you have it folks. You can't make this stuff up! Controversy will surely follow this new link counting system.
PS. Happy American thanksgiving weekend all my American friends from this Canadian. I am thankful for all NZ Bear has done and support us bloggers and how fair he is trying to be. There is no perfect system, so let's go with the flow and respect that he has the right to do what he sees as fair. (not being sarcastic here people - the post is meant as joke - you know - ha ha)
Update: VoN has discovered a sub function I missed! Good find!
function Snob ( $url )
{
$friend = member_of_friends ( $url );
if ( !$friend ) {
reTURN "Nose Up!";
}
}
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Ecosystem Security Breach: Red Alert! [by The Truth Laid Bear]
Riffing Off Dumbledore/Open Post [by third world county]
Link Logic in the new (eco)system [by Random Yak]
This is a friendly reminder to go vote at the 2005 Canadian Blog Awards.
Go there to support your favourite Canadian bloggers on a daily basis until November 30th because you are encouraged there to vote in each category once a day.
Sam's categories: Best Humour Blog and Best Personal Blog.
FYI - I had two friends vote for me at the same time, I had them synchronize their vote time, and they both voted for me, we checked their results in the polls and found that I am presently in second place in both categories. I don't know if my friends will be around every day to do this and to let you know how I'm doing in the polls, but that's where I stand presently. It was only the first day of voting and you have to vote every day to really stay on top of it all, so who knows what will happen in the end.
I said it before, and here it is again, "I think it's a little strange that everyone has to vote daily to show their support, but there you have it. I mean, I don't recall being able to vote for my Prime Minister more than once, but then again, I didn't vote for him at all, lol."
Good luck to all nominees!
The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Another kind of election... [by Lala Land]
Peace of My Mind wins it this week by guessing the correct answer, O.J. Simpson, and yes, you are right, Peace of My Mind, he certainly does deserve being labelled moron this week.
OJ Simpson, of course, is remembered primarily for the murder trial of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman back in 1994/95. Although he had an elaborate career as a football player, that paled in comparison to his low-speed chase scene in the white bronco and the court case that followed.
I still don't get the white bronco chase. I mean, the guy was travelling like 5 miles per hour and the police still couldn't catch him??? I'd say that the police should be moron of the week for that one, but na, OJ still takes the cake.
And here's why:
Recently, OJ freaked out, and not in a bloody, kill 'em all sort of way, but by vocalising his confusion over why the courts can find a person not guilty of a murder, but guilty for liability in a civil case of the murder.
OJ states:
"I still don't get how anyone can be found not guilty of a murder and then be found responsible for it in any way shape or form. If you're found not guilty, how can you be found responsible? I'd love to hear how that's not double jeopardy."
Okay, moron (and yes, I'm shaking in my boots by calling him that), here's how it works.... The murder trial was a case brought about by the law, the civil case is brought about by individual parties such as Goldman's family and Ms. Simpson's estate. As long as they have filed the case properly, anyone has the ability to sue anyone.
In this case, Ms. Simpson's and the Goldman's estates
"filed a survival claim, a vaguely defined action that can only be brought if a victim survives, perhaps even briefly, an ultimately fatal assault or accident. The law is unclear on how long a victim must survive and suffer to warrant a claim. The irony is that Mr. Simpson, to avoid a big payout, may have to try to prove that the murders were committed quickly and less painfully -- the exact opposite of his criminal trial contention that the murders took a long time."
Ah forget it, for some reason, I don't think moron OJ will understand no matter how many times we explain it to him.
Well, OJ lost his civil case in 1997, heh heh, which ordered him to pay $33.5 million and much of that judgment is still unpaid. What brought about his ignorant questioning of the the civil lawsuit "double jeopardy" is the lawsuit of Robert Blake, who was also found not guilty of his wife's murder, but was ordered to pay $30 million in the civil case.
Regardless, I think we all know the results of OJ's civil case. He is living off a pension and looking for any dime he can find these days. I guess you really do pay a price for being liable for someone's murder.
It is to laugh that OJ is living the senior's dream, though. I mean, he's living on a pension in Florida while taking up golfing as a hobby.
Watch out for those freak, lightening storms, there OJ, your ex and Goldman might find justice another way, *KABOOM* *KABLAMMO*.
PS - don't lift your golf club over your head either, lol.
In case you all didn't already know, it is the 10 year anniversary of OJ's ex-wife and Goldman's murder; at least, OJ is celebrating.
Oh wait, I guess he's celebrating his acquittal and not the murders. My bad.
He was recently spotted at a horror convention, Necrocomicon, signing autographs on shirts, hats, and footballs.
What, no gloves?
How peculiar it was for many to see OJ sitting at a table set up next to
"a promotional display for a splatter movie, a haunted house and such decorations as severed heads and limbs."
He must have felt right at home.
When asked if why he was there (without his "escape from the law" buddy Al Cowlings) was to make money, seeing that his acting list did not include any horror-type movies (well, not if you don't count his horrendous acting in movies such as The Naked Gun series), OJ responded that he was not signing autographs "for his health".
OJ was making $95 per autograph, considerably less than what he would likely be making if he didn't get himself wrapped up in a murder case.
And it looks like OJ needed that money desparately because he was also recently found guilty of pirating satellite television signals from DirecTV.
He was ordered to pay $25,000 in damages for having bootloaders connected to his tv, in operation and receiving unauthorised signals when his house was raided by police.
Aw, don't you just feel so bad for the guy.
And, moron OJ is looking to make some more money as his well runs dry by running his own Punk'd-like practical joke show called "Juiced".
Apparently, the show's catch phrase is "you've been juiced" and at times, has OJ in the same room with the victim and knives.
I think that would give me a heart attack, seeing The Juice in the same room with me and some knives.
While researching the show, I found this doosy of a "Juiced" transcript: My blog is poop. The ending of that pilot is worth the read.
And, his daughter's not doing so well either. It seems the 19 year old was arrested for resisting arrest without violence after slapping an officer, who had been called to break up a fight outside a basketball game, on the hand.
Hmmm... resisting arrest must run in the family.
Well, moron OJ, it is your 10th anniversary of being a moron. And, I suppose it is more than fitting that you are labelled Moron Of The Week # 10. Congratulations!
PS - I'm in fear for my life after writing this, and I think you know why.
OJ quotes:
This is one of my favourite quotes:
"Anybody who's been around me for any length of time in the media, they will confirm that everywhere you go, people love you, especially when I leave the country."
Another fav.:
"I don't know how often I can discuss one incident in my entire life, but I'll continue to do that."
Links:
Here is a funny link to check out: lots of goodies here. OJ even offers you up a platter for Thanksgiving there.
OJ wikipedia
Here is an OJ Simpson colouring and activity book
Congrats again to Peace of My Mind