The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Contributed by Lost In Lima Ohio

This doesn't appear to be the best of times for criminals. It's not just that they are making it into the news, it is the way they are going about doing it. I've decided to bring you a run down on the latest stunts which have made headlines.

My Own Top Ten Eight List Of Bad Criminal Stunts

10. Going out, partying a bit too much and due to being overwhelmingly drunk- mistaking the police car for a taxi.

9. On the run from police, criminal decides to hide in Church. Only to pick a church holding mass for the next shift of police officers.

8. Taking photos of your crime spree, and leaving the photos on the stolen camera. The camera was returned after the conviction, seeing as the criminals returned to the home to steal a computer cord which they had forgotten. This time, they where caught. *Next time, just buy a new cord.

I know Sam already mentioned this one- but I can't help myself:

7.. A man in Florida decided to go for a nice little crime spree of breaking windows while in the nude. When he began accosting women, the police where called. They requested him to stop- but he refused. The police then shot him with a Taser gun. All may have ended just fine, but the man was naked and "moving around a lot" and the officer didn't have the best of aim. Reports indicate the suspect was hit, in a "tender spot".

All I am left to say is, ouch.

6. Don't hide the body in a suitcase and leave the address label with your brothers info on, on the suitcase.

5. Don't use your boyfriends cell phone to call in a bomb threat to your employer. One flight attendant did in order to get the day off, my guess is she'll be having a lot of time off- since the call was traced back to her boyfriend.

4. Where's not the best place to hide while being chased by police canines? This poor criminal evidently thought it would be a dog house.

3. One should not try to outrun police when riding on the lawnmower they have just stolen. Police have cars, they go faster.

I know there should really be two more to this list. But that is the great thing about being the writer... I can stop when I want.

This article contributed by Lost In Lima Ohio