The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Move over Bobbitt, we have a new winner.

It seems that a scorned woman, Gail O'Toole decided to join the organisation of the crazy b*tches by assaulting her ex-partner. O'Toole invited her ex, Ken Slaby, to her house to rekindle a relationship, but soon got upset to find Slaby had a new partner. O'Toole, then, waited for Slaby to fall asleep to get her revenge on the man.

"Slaby said O'Toole waited until he fell asleep and glued his penis to his stomach, glued his testicle to his leg and glued the cheeks of his buttocks together."

Talk about a sticky situation!

That kind of reminds me of that American Pie movie where that guy crazy glue's himself to... um... himself.

O'Toole also dumped nail polish over the man's head before kicking him out of her home.

Slaby then had to walk a distance to dial for 911 assistance.

"At the hospital, oils did little to remove the glue. Nurses actually had to peel it off."

In this situation, I don't think it was the glue that was crazy... it was O'Toole.

I just want to know how the guy was able to walk being all glued together like that. It had to have hurt some, don't you think?

I wonder if they used anesthetic at all to ease the pain of peeling it off or if they had to do it au naturelle. Have I made any guys cringe yet?

There seems to have been another glue incident at a Home Depot where someone pulled a prank by putting glue on a toilet seat. And then, apparently a man came along and sat on the seat and got stuck there.

The man's suing the store for ignoring his plea for help because they thought he was kidding. The money-grubbing whiner claims,

“They left me there, going through all that stress. They just let me rot.�

Anything for a buck, eh. Oh whoa is me... they left you there in all that "stress" to "rot", did they? Maybe this guy should date O'Toole because he really seems like a tool.