The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Looking for oral sex and jizz, huh? I've decided to be nice to my readers and I've found a non-scam site where you can view your "needs". Just follow the link link here. Now back to the article...

Sorry (well... not really).

So, they're saying that oral sex is linked to mouth cancer, eh?

A study has found that the human papilloma virus, or the wart virus HPV, can be contracted during oral sex, which can, in some, result in mouth cancer.

The study compared 132 patients with the cancer to 320 healthy people, and the study also found that 36% of the cancer patients were carrying HPV whereas only 1% of the control group were carriers.

I'm no scientist, and would likely be told to mind my business by any researcher out there, but the result I just read does not answer all questions. First off, these are some stats I found,

"At least 50 percent of sexually active men and women acquire genital HPV infection at some point in their lives. By age 50, at least 80 percent of women will have acquired genital HPV infection."

That means that carrying the HPV STD is extremely common despite what the study suggests. Also, it says that the control group were healthy individuals, well, duh, of course they shouldn't have a virus if they're "healthy" right?

I don't get that, but maybe I need to find more information on the study than just relying on Breitbart for the information, which is only a media source.

Here is a better display of the study. This one says that only 1 in 10,000 develop oral tumours, and that the majority of those are cause by drinking and smoking.

The researchers (most likely oral sex-crazed scientists) do not recommend people change their behaviours.

Ya, 'cause they still enjoy their rug munching, fish tacos and their protein shake, Margaret Thatchers and don't want to give that up.

The research also stated that

"the people with oral cancers containing the HPV16 strain were three times as likely to report having had oral sex as those whose tumour did not contain HPV16. "

So basically, does this mean that if you have HPV and oral cancer, you are 3 times more likely to go lapsnorkling than those with ONLY oral cancer?

Ya, that was in bad taste, but admit you enjoyed the laugh too.

So, there you have it. Ladies now have an excuse to get out of doing something many of them don't enjoy, and many others will be slightly disappointed with this new info as they really enjoy doing it.

Here are a couple more terms for it: eating out, 69: wine and dine, aw heck, there are too many to list here.