The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Contributed by Lost... In Lima Ohio

After recent developments, PETA has decided to sue God. Top members of the world's largest anti-vegetable group were overheard discussing the recent inhumane attack on 137 cows in Sydney.

An undercover member of Sam's ever growing vegetable rights group P.E.R.V. was able to secretly record the following conversation at an intense private meeting between the members of PETA:

"Just who does he think he is, GOD?"

"No reason to fret - we have this completely under control - the lawyers have begun the paper work already."

"Those 68 cows did not deserve to be assassinated, not to mention the mental damage the surviving cows now have to deal with."

"It's just like him to blame this on Mother Nature."

"He's crossed the line this time, you'd think after the whole Flood situation, and all those innocent animals dying, he'd have grow out of killing animals."

The special meeting was called in reaction to the stunning assassination of 68 milking cows, all of whom died as a result of the surprise attack from God. A lightning strike killed 68 dairy cows waiting to be milked on an Australian farm, local media reported Wednesday.

The cows were standing together in a paddock Monday when an electrical storm hit near Dorrigo on Australia's mid-east coast, radio reports said. Sixty-eight cows were killed by lightning, but another 69 survived.

PETA has vowed to bring a stop to the torture of animals, instead demanding the life of helpless vegetables. In a closed door reaction to PETA's claims of filing suit against God, P.E.R.V. determined not to be outdone by their arch nemesis; has begun contemplating filing suit for the mass destruction of vegetation heinously destroyed by God's irresponsible over watering policy also known as Hurricanes.

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To Learn More About P.E.R.V. and to join the organisation:

People for the Ethical Rights of Vegetables

Meeting of the P.E.R.V.s