The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

You know, I've just come to realise that singers are like Doctors.

I believe it's common knowledge by now that doctors have sloppy handwriting. Intentional or not, it is a fact. You can never read the perscription information that your doctor hands you.

I would have to say that the same is true with singers and their songs. How many of you know someone who can't sing the lyrics properly to a song they're listening to (and if you don't know someone like that, then guess who you are)?

The two of you are sitting in a car, or somewhere, listening to a favourite song when you both begin singing the lyrics. At a crucial point in the song (usually not in the refrain, but in the meat of the song), you both start to sing different lyrics. And then, you begin wondering, "am I singing it wrong or are they singing it wrong?"

I had a friend like that. She sucked with lyrics to popular songs. It was so embarrassing when we were with a group of people, and she'd sing out loud.

Seriously, I DON'T KNOW HER.

For instance, to the song Cotton Eyed Joe she'd say something like,

"Oboe fiddle and a shoe-string o"

rather than the true lyrics,

"Old bull fiddle and a shoe-string bow".

Some of her doosies, I wish I wrote down because there are many hilarious ones.

Or how about the people who still do what five year olds do (it's you who does this, isn't it). They ramble the lyrics until they get to the last word of the line because they know what that one word is, but they don't know any other part of the song. And, to that person, it makes it all the more thrilling that they know that one word at the end of the line because it happens to rhyme. Yes, good boy/girl, "free" does rhyme with "me".

And, I think we're all guilty of being able to only sing the refrain to some songs.

Forget the rest of that 2 Unlimited song of the early 90s, I know the refrain of No Limits...

No, no limits, we'll reach for the sky! No valley to deep, no maintain to high, No, no limits, won't give up the fight, We do what we want and we do it with pride.

We all should be proud.

So, as I was saying, singers are like Doctors. Doctors mess with our heads by creating perscriptions that we couldn't read if our lives depended on it; singers screw with our minds by composing lyrics that we just couldn't sing proper if it was a matter of life and death.

Now I'm going to go put on some AC/DC, and I'm NOT going to sing.