The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

You are searching for porn, huh? Tisk Tisk. I've decided to be nice to my readers and I've found a non-scam site where you can view your "needs". Just follow the link link here. Now back to the article...

Responsiblity for this ever making it to being anything other than a "draft" belongs to Sam, however it was written by LostinLimaOhio.

I never really have been interested in learning about other countries, or their preferences in their porn. Actually, I have very little interest in American Porn either, but having come across the occasional Playboy or Hustler magazine in my life- I'm feeling confident in my new belief that America does it better than Canada.

We provide pictures of real women. They seem to be into cartoons, drawings.
Our porno people are naked. Their porno people are in white robes.
Our porn is saved for adults. Their porn is handed out to children.

The only exception to this might come here, when I tell you that their porn is free, and we charge for ours.

I know, you are begining to wonder where I came up with this. I promise, it is from a reliable source. The Media. You know, those people never lie. Okay, so they do- but I don't think they are lying now.

One of Canada's leading cinema chains has stopped handing out Christmas wrapping paper to its patrons after parents complained it featured angels fondling each other suggestively, newspapers reported on Tuesday.

Famous Players acted after the wrapping paper -- a promotion for the Virgin Mobile phone service -- was handed out to young children.

The paper features a male angel grasping the breast of his female partner, while she has hold of his genitals, as they kiss. Both are fully clothed in white angel attire.

And to think all I got when I was a kid going to the theater was stale popcorn and old Mike and Ike's, which I had to pay for.

As this is clearly a Canadian Blog, I was going to, in the tradition of Canada, give you porn too. But I am American, so I'd have to charge you for it. Sam said if I did I'd have to share the profits, but you know how greedy Americans are. In light of this, there will be no porn.

This article contributed by LostinLimaOhio.