The Crazy Rants of Samantha BurnsHave A Very Merry PERVmas!
PERV would like to wish you all Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year.
We are hoping that members will remember their vow to PERV and refrain from eating any innocent veggies.
We also urge you all to boycott all grocery stores and restaurants supplying holiday favourites such as candied yams, sweet potatoes, and cranberries.
If you are planning on making stuffing for your turkey this year, please remember to exclude all vegetation.
Further, do not fret if Santa doesn't bring you any gifts because you have no tree to put it under since you'll be a good PERV and not cut down the innocent plant for your own merriment, but will leave it out in the yard where it belongs.
Life is more fulfilling without destruction of innocent greenery, anyhow. And, from all of us to all of you...
Have a very Meaty Christmas!
And, a cruelty-free New Year!
Comments
be sure to savor your ham. be confident falling asleep knowing that you can attribute it to your second helping of turkey. and cheer the pumpkins that have not died in vain to make some other lard-o's stomach jut out that much further! viva p.e.r.v.! let's readjourn in the new year and discuss strategies for taking down all "fresh produce" advertisements...
Posted by: lesley | December 22, 2005 12:23 AM
Shame on you! Stuffing is verboten all together! Even if you exclude other veggies... the bread is made from innocent wheat and grains that have been cruelly smashed and ground after being pulled roughly from the ground. Oh the humanity... I can barely talk about without crying.
Posted by: Nick | December 22, 2005 09:59 AM