The Crazy Rants of Samantha BurnsRegaling Your Rump
Geez, the news keeps getting better and better for all of you reading this in the bathroom, eh.
The bidet has risen to a new level in butt care as a man creates a high-tech toilet seat that rinses and warms your arse.
The Swash, as it's called, is intended to relieve us of the hassles of using toilet paper. That's good news to the environmental freaks, but I really didn't know wiping my butt was such a hassle until now.
In a Homer Simpsons-esque way, I've been wiping my arse like a chump.
Oh gosh, and it gets better. The warm up model has an air dryer and remote control to pamper your posterior.
I guess the inventor will go down in history as the guy who blew hot air up our a$$.
Heck, with all this new toilet technology I'm beginning to reconsider this whole blogging on the toilet business. Perhaps that could become my "thing" as a blogger. The girl who blogs on the toilet.
Uh... now that I think about it, no thanks. That's NOT what I want to be remembered for in life.
Comments
As a sidenote, one of the main investors is Mark Cuban, owner of the Mavs. Sadly, this isn't the craziest thing he's done. There was his reality show [I think about five people total watched] and the time he offered a radio guy here over 60 grand to change his name to Dallas Maverick. But as long as the Mavs don't crap out in the first round of the playoffs, he can do what he pleases. Mike G.
Posted by: Mike G. | December 16, 2005 12:19 AM
Sounds kinda anal to me.
*runs outta' room*
Posted by: MacBros | December 16, 2005 04:11 AM
And.... You're not in the least concerned about what types of google searches will turn up with Samantha Burns on top. You're a brave girl Sam.
Posted by: David | December 16, 2005 08:25 AM
This is great news for the obese. Can you imagine the arm-length it takes to wipe your arse. Can't leave it all to evolution!
Mover Mike
Posted by: Mike Landfair | December 16, 2005 09:39 AM
The jet force it would need to do a thorough job after a night out of drinking beer and eating bean burritos would probably knock you off the throne.
Posted by: Diane![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.samanthaburns.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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December 16, 2005 10:45 AM
*said with an Australian accent*
"Bidet, mate!"
Posted by: JJ | December 16, 2005 01:07 PM
Oh GEEZ, Diane, LOL.
Posted by: Sam | December 16, 2005 02:45 PM