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« December 2005 | Main | February 2006 »


January 31, 2006

Congratulations Sam

100000 visits

Congratulations Sam for your 100,000 visitor in six months of operating site meter (to the day)!

It appears that Grafs Headfirst is the 100,000 visitor - for all intents and purposes, anyhow.

And, Drunken Wisdom was so close that you can consider it a tie, really.

*cheers all*

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Support This Site



Wooden Car

I painted my car with rust. Ya, painted. That's it.

But, this would be a great way to conceal real rust.

Check out the woody on that car.


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Photoshopping

While shopping for some photos (whatever - "photoshopping" is such a weird word), I came across something pretty cool.

This is not a site to be missed if you haven't seen it already.

It's totally cool.

Warning: possibility of some nudity. Viewer discretion is advised.

Adje's Fotosoep

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Is It Something About The Job?

Going postal all over again.

I thought the days of playing shoot 'em up at the post office were gone, but I guess not.

6 dead and one wounded were found in a Santa Barbara mail processing plant, and it is believed that an ex-postal employee was responsible as she took the lives of current employees, then committed suicide.

So, what was this... the woman's way of commemorating the 1986 shootings? Like a 20 year memorial service or something?

It's sick and messed up.

And, I thought we were beyond that insane fad by now as we haven't seen anything like it since 1997 (at least, that's what wikipedia tells us).

Let's hope this isn't a trend for the year.

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That's Some Stiffy

What would you do to see your name in lights? Or, perhaps the question is, what wouldn't you do?

For Chuck Lamb, he's willing to die.

This dead dork can be found at deadbodyguy.com where you will see plenty of images of Lamb posing dead in various circumstances.

For instance, he's been spotted "dead" at the bottom of the stairs, dangling from a ceiling fan, lying in a bowl of soup, jammed under the garage door, etc.

If you haven't already been there, it's worth a look as a time waster.

Lamb initially put up the site to get noticed by Hollyweird, but thought he was too old to really make it. He tried anyhow.

Well, weird begets weird, and it worked.

He, apparently, has been offered a movie role. Plus, he is expected to play his dead role on the red carpet of the Los Angeles Film Festival as actors tread over him.

So, I suppose he's meeting his goal in life. He'll soon see his name in lights.

Chuck Lamb: proving to the world that you're never too old to fake it in Hollywood.

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*Sniff* *Sniff* Mmmmm...

Some perverted sicko (at least that's my opinion of it) allegedly decided to pleasure himself in the "Junior Miss" section of a Rogersville Goody's store.

Apparently, a female customer saw the man in his self-serve sex act and phoned the police. When the police caught the guy, he stated that he didn't know he had been seen and he didn't know he was in the "Junior Miss" section. He thought he was in the women's section.

It seems the guy went into the store for that purpose and that purpose only. He was not there to shop, according to the report.

He was arrested for indecent exposure, and apparently, this was not his first time diddling with his woohoo..

Just for your information, men, this is NOT a way to occupy your time while your partner shops for clothes.

I sure like how he claims he thought he was in the women's section and not the kids' section. Like that's SO much better.

You know, the least he could have done was buy something after he jerked off to the store's products.

Nutjob.

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Size Matters?

Well, that's what they say about bats anyhow.

A research study claims that where the female bats are horny little flying rodents, the males have large testicles and small brains, whereas in monogomous bat relationships, the male bats have large brains and small testes.

Apparently, there is some sort of evolutionary tradeoff depending on whether sex or intelligence is important.

And, this phenomenon doesn't stop with the bat. In cases of the chimps, promiscuity means larger testicles compared with gorillas who maintain exclusive access to a harem of females.

Geez, I wonder what that would look like in the human species.

Lots of dimwitted, horn dogs.

Oh wait, we've already got some of those out there.

I guess the AC/DC song "Big Balls" wouldn't be so great afterall.

"I got big balls" = I got no brains.

So women, if this works for the human species, and you're looking for a good sperm donor in your life, don't look to the size of his hands to know the size of the package, look to the size of his head (and I mean the one on top).

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January 30, 2006

It's Written In The Koran?

This one has a beautiful upbeat rhythm. It's to die for... Karaoke Koran.

Thanks to A North American Patriot who got it from this guy who got it from this guy.

And, while you're at A North American Patriot, check out the Jedi squirrels.


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Koran Karaoke [by Burr in the Burgh]

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Another Quickie For You

Thanks to Jason Coleman for this one, and he's right, it is actually quite fun once you get past the first few levels.

This game is best with volume, but not required.

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Pizza Deliverers Beware

A German man/cannibal, convicted and jailed for manslaughter for 8 ½ years, is being ordered to re-trial after the state argued that the man was, instead, guilty of murder.

The 44 year old man, Armin Meiwes, denies that he's guilty of murder because he says that he was merely carrying out the wishes of the victim.

First of all, who in their right mind instructs someone to eat them?

The man states that he met the victim by internet and when the victim, a computer specialist, went to Meiwes' home, Meiwes severed the guy's penis and they both tried to eat it without success.

And, here I thought computer geeks were supposed to be smart.

Didn't they know that you should never try to eat a bone; you could choke on it.

Meiwes said that he was hoping the victim would bleed to death. He stated, " I wanted to eat him, but I didn't want to kill him."

Ya, 'cause wanting to eat someone is much better.

His legal team debates that Meiwes was merely "killing on request", which means he should only be sent to a maximum of 5 years for illegal euthanasia.

5 years for murder. H'okay then. Since he served 8, I guess that means he'll be released from jail if he wins and start eating out again.

Just remember, if you're a delivery person or computer specialist, skip his house unless you want to behis next dinner.

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Largest Trial In Canadian History

Robert Pickton goes on trial today.

This was the largest investigation, hence will be the largest court trial in Canadian history.

For those unaware, Pickton is a pig farmer in British Columbia, Canada who is facing 27 murder charges, all of which for the deaths of women. This accounts for less than half the women missing in the area he allegedly targeted.

In 2002, Pickton's pig farm in Port Coquitlam, BC was raided by police and underwent a nearly 2 year search for bodies and body parts on the farm.

It is believed that Pickton fed some of the body parts to his pigs.

The women, primarily prostitutes, were believed to be lured to the Pickton farm between the years 1995-2001. It is said that Pickton and his brother registered a charity called Piggy Palace Good Times Society, which was supposed to hold numerous types of events; however, many of these events turned out to be merely drunken barn raves that featured "entertainment" in the form of using prostitutes.

If convicted, Pickton will surpass Clifford Olson as Canada's worst serial killer. (more...)

All I have to say is fry piggy, fry.

UPDATE: Pickton pled not guilty (figures), so let the games begin. He pled not guilty on 26 charges, but on the 27th, he fell silent and the court pled not guilty for him

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Intro To Moron Of The Week #18

Congratulations Stray Dog for knowing that Paris Hilton is a moron. A moron beyond belief.

Who will be the one to dethrone Stray Dog? Anyone? Could it be you?

Here is the standard info for the game:

To your right is the Moron Of The Week posting from which you will be able to guess who you believe is the moron in the picture, then submit your answer in the comment section of this article. On Friday, I will provide the correct answer along with a link to the winning guess's site. Will you be the winner this week?

PS - this isn't going to be easy as there is no shortage of morons out there: politicians, journalists, celebrities, frothing-at-the-mouth moonbats, and the like.


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Moron [by Drunken Wisdom]

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Prosthetic Projectile

A man in Oregon attempted to flee from a state trooper by throwing his prosthetic legs at the copper.

I wonder how he thought he was going to get away without anything to run with.

The trooper stopped the man for driving in the wrong direction on the highway. The man smelled of alcohol, so the officer asked the man to step out of the vehicle.

What'd he say? Get out of the vehicle and put your legs up!

After the man attempted to flee from the cop, he turned and threw his false legs at the officer. One missed him and the other hit him in the chest.

The guy definately made some stupid mistakes because he was arrested for driving under the influence, reckless driving, resisting arrest, attempted assault on an officer, and bail was set to $45,000.

I don't know. Perhaps he thought he was getting a leg up on the situation by throwing the things at the cop.

I'll tell you this, though. He doesn't have a leg to stand on.

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January 29, 2006

Diane's HOT Stuff

Dianes Stuff shared these with us in one of my comment sections that I felt deserved to be brought out front for you all.

Enjoy these "Ancient Chinese Proverbs"

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

Thanks Dianes Stuff. These were hilarious.

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Chinese New Years Continues

In keeping with the Chinese New Year celebration, here is a page where you can find your own English name translated to Chinese.

Here's mine.

So, if you're thinking of getting a tattoo in Chinese like so many others do, there's a thought.

Some Proverbs:

A smile will gain you ten more years of life :-)
Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.
Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
Great souls have wills; feeble ones have only wishes.
Have a mouth as sharp as a dagger but a heart as soft as tofu.

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Guns N' Roses Reunion?

gn'r
Doubt it, but it would be interesting.

Apparently, Axl Rose has hinted that there could be a reunion if all sides agree to it.

As it stands, former members, Slash, Duff McKagan, and Matt Sorum were dissed by Axl Rose years ago and have since created their own band, Velvet Revolver with former Stone Temple Pilots lead Scott Weiland.

Many have waited years for Axl to get his butt in gear on putting out a new GN'R album called Chinese Democracy to no avail.

Ya, it would be cool to see a reunion, but I'm relatively just as happy with Velvet Revolver.

Related article: GN'R Tizzy

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Chinese New Year

Of course, it's Chinese New Year today!

Yippy, I'm going downtown Vancouver to celebrate the day.

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January 28, 2006

Choking Game And Self-Strangulation

With the 3 recent deaths in Canada over the choking game, I thought I'd bring this article of mine back to the forefront.

Further, here is a link to the Stop the choking game site.

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Weather Quiz

Hat Tip: Cyber chocolate for this quiz.

What Type of weather are you?

You Are Lightning
Beautiful yet dangerous.

People will stop and watch you when you appear.

Even though you're capable of random violence.

You are best known for: your power

Your dominant state: performing

Mwahahahaha... I'm capable of random violence. That's great.

All the rest, I'll go with, though.


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Strangely Accurate Actually [by The World According to Nick]

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Gettin' To Know You: OTA Weekend

What are the hot topics of the week?

Trackback your best articles here (rules below) and enjoy some open thread action.

ADVICE: Trackback articles you want to promote that are still on your main blog page so that you can showcase your work (and it will help to attract readers).

Check out to the right side bar for who is doing open trackbacks this weekend, visit them, and link your best articles to their open trackback article, but be sure to link those you trackback in your own article.

Please do NOT link "I'm having an open trackback party" posts. They are not interesting for other readers and I'll be removing those links. You may leave a comment instead. I have a link on the right side bar already to those whom are doing open tracks, a second link is not required. I do understand some blogging software auto-trackbacks, so you are forgiven if that happens.


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Should Federal Tax Dollars Be Used To Immortalize A Dead Gangster? [by Gribbit's Word]
Jusalil Something For Saturday [by Alabama Improper]
Happy Birthday, Wolfgang! [by third world county]
It's About Coffee, After All [by Demo Reel]
I no longer support IE5 for Mac [by ★imaginekitty★]
Twenty Years After Challenger [by The Truckin' Blog]
Things you didn't know that you needed to know [by Mark in Mexico]
The Reality Based Community [by Freedom Folks]
Boinc Boinc Nerdsworthy? [by Diane's Stuff]
Pride: Thinkin [by 7 Deadly Sins]
Post-PC [by Something Requisitely Witty and Urbane]
More attempts by the left to silence free speech.. [by Tel-Chai Nation]
Steven Spielberg continues to spiral hopelessly... [by Tel-Chai Nation]
Sunday Jammin' [by Peakah's Provocations...]
Is Believing In Fiscal Responsibility The Same As Believing In Santa Claus? [by Common Folk Using Common Sense]
The Oprah and fried Frey [by Mark My Words]

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Worms, Maggots, & Parasitic Programming

Dianes Stuff brings us the latest disgrace of reality tv: Dust to Dust

The programme will show the gradual decomposition of a human corpse after the volunteer for the show dies.

Kudos to Professor Sue Black for refusing to be a part of this pathetic attempt at viewership/ratings/money.

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January 27, 2006

Faking It?

I think I can consider myself an Internet journalist.

I mean, for all intents and purposes, anyhow.

Reason being is that I report the news, primarily odd and unusual, but news nonetheless. And, I'm usually not the first to report the stuff, but sometimes I am first "on the scene".

Plus, my articles are opinionated and that's what you need to be a good reporter, right?

The MSM can deny it all they want, but their reporters are biased.

I don't know why they don't just give up that facade already.

Yup, I'm an Internet journalist.

I'm just not faking it like they are.

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Canada To Be Officially Renamed

Yesterday marked the end of a Canadian legacy as the infamous Hudson's Bay Company was taken over by a US corporation.

So, does that mean that Canada will be officially renamed America Jr.?

The Hudson's Bay Company (HBC) is a Canadian icon and was one of the main foundations that built this country. From sea to sea to sea, the HBC was created as a trading post company for furs and other goods that helped start the economy of this great white north.

The HBC was established in 1670 and is, today, Canada's largest department store and oldest corporation.

So, is this recent transaction a telling sign of Canada's state of affairs?

Perhaps, perhaps not.

But, as it stands, South Carolina businessman Jerry Zucker (and his patriotically disguised Maple Leaf Heritage Investments) has taken over the last piece of living Canadian history to the tune of C$1.5 billion.

In my opinion, it's a chinchy amount compared to true potential value of the company (although, it would look good in my pocket). The takeover comes as a result of the HBC/Zellers corporation's inability to compete with Sears Canada and Walmart Inc.

Does this move mean that we will no longer have the privilege of purchasing overpriced items?

Will we not get the chance to pay for the name brand HBC and their importing costs?

Although the HBC (and just about any other Canadian company that you can think of) has been primarily backed by US investors for a long time now, this switchover of power suggests to some that Canada no longer has any control over its own affairs.

And, the moonbats thought this would be a safe place to hide from the US.

Lol.

So, now with the Conservatives in power (and if you believe Al Gore's loony opinion, the win was a result of shady oil financial backing) and the last standing Canadian symbol in the hands of the States (aside from Tim Hortons, of course), where will the moonbats go?

This reminds me of an old children's song, only re-created...

Where, oh where, will the lit-tle moonbats go?
Oh, where, oh where, will they flee?

Thanks for the Al Gore news:
A North American Patriot
Angry in the great white north

PS - Harper started his role as leader of Canada on a fine note. Thanks to one of the AGWN commenters for this article

After the disgusting display of smear campaigns brought on by Paul Martin's Liberals, it's refreshing to know that someone who ran a clean, straightforward campaign actually won it. You know, I actually might have had more heart for the Liberals if they weren't so appalling over the last few years and this pathetic attempt at another political win.


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Best Of The Blogroll - Jan. 29 [by Point Five]

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SHUT. YOUR. PIE. HOLE. (take II)

Al Gore, the loser from the 2000 US elections, is looking to score some moonbat points at the expense of us dear Canadians.

So it seems that Al Gore is accusing Steven Harper of taking oil money and using it towards the campaign re-election. What does Al Gore base this pointless accusation on?

a. Hard hitting investigative reporting?
b. A whistler blower coming forward and revealing information?
c. Stephen Harper’s Tourette Syndrome kept blurting the word oilsands?
d. A defector from the conservative party?

Can you guess which one? Answer: Some Sierra Club lunatic who forgot to take his morning moonbat paranoia medication.

"They've talked about the need for a made-in-Canada plan, which is exactly the terminology Stephen Harper used," Bennett said. "They've talked about targets for Kyoto being unreachable -- that's similar."

Despite strict laws in Canada strongly limiting what corporations can donate and requirements that amount greater than $200 be announced as public information, Al Gore and his cronies decide that they have similar outlooks and therefore Stephen Harper is mind-controlled by oilsands giant Suncor Energy,.

Let me make a few points to you Mr. loser-2000-elections. In case you might have missed, the Liberals in Canada took our Canadian taxpayer money and funnelled it to their buddies and themselves in the millions of dollars. They didn’t just award some lucrative contract to some crony, they took the money outright just like the UN took Saddam’s money in the oil-for-food program.

The difference between the UN and Canada is we can choose to vote out our corrupt leaders and Canadians did exactly that, whereas in the UN, the corrupt get a post on the Security Council.

Al "loser-2000-elections" Gore, I’m much less concerned about an oil company donating to a political party than having my taxpayer money be given to government buddies.

If a government is corrupt, then laws are meaningless. No matter how good laws are and how many people laws would protect, without honesty the laws cannot be enforced on those who can afford to bribe their way out of it and eventually effective societal law breaks down.

Unfortunately due to paranoid smear campaigns, many Canadians still voted for our corrupt Liberal party out of fear that Stephen Harper drinks puppy blood instead of coffee in the morning.

Further, let me ask you this Al Gore. What good is ANY law that does not achieve its intended results? What good is ANY law that has huge negative side effects without achieving its intended results?

Here’s a news flash: I want to pull out of Kyoto too, Al "loser-2000-elections" Gore. If global warming exists, why would I want to roll back to 1990 levels of pollution? I remember the screams by environmentalists in the 90s that we were all going to burn in a crispy ball of fire due to global warming. Kyoto will bring greenhouse emissions to 90s level at unprecedented costs to our economy and unless you are willing to admit the environmentalists in the 90s were wrong I don’t see any point.

Beyond the problem of having science which can’t make up it’s mind if we are going to burn or freeze to death, I see no point in implementing a protocol that sets arbitrary limits on greenhouse emissions which are nothing, but a literal drop in the bucket.

Trouble is our society runs on power. Our most abundant source is oil and coal. We can’t tap any other source of power to even come close to the needs that oil provides. Cutting the energy that drives our lives and powers our economy is society suicide. Thanks, but I’m not going to trade in my car for a horse and buggy, Al "loser-2000-elections" Gore.

Instead of being a loser-windbag and butting your nose in our country when your own country rejects you, how about coming up with an alternative to cut-and-burn our economies and investing your money in businesses that may have a solution? How about doing some more research as to why the earth naturally heats and cools before just carte-blanche declaring that humans are the cause. For all I know, my car emissions may be the only thing holding back a glacier from forming in my back yard.

SHUT. YOUR. PIE. HOLE. AL "LOSER-2000-ELECTIONS" GORE.

What others are saying:

A North American Patriot I beg your pardon...
Captains quarters Gore Attacks Canadians For Exercising Democracy
Weapons of mass destruction Asshat Alert
Vodkapundit What Do You Do With a Broken Party?
Moderate conservative Gore Bashes New Canadian Government
Riehl world view Al Gore Attacks New Canadian PM Harper
California conservative Rampant Paranoia (Courtesy of Al Gore)
Holycoast.com Al Gore Picks Another Country to Meddle In


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Remind me not to tick her off… [by The Flannel Avenger's Blog]

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Moron Revealed #17

Moron of the Week - 17 - Paris HiltonDespite kevin's hint in the comment section,

"You made it so difficult I need to go relax at a major hotel chain. Possibly one overseas so I can enjoy some good wine and cheese :D"
it took a while for anyone to guess this moron correctly.

However, Stray Dog eventually guessed it correctly that Paris Hilton, soon to be renamed Super 8 Motel with rates by the hour, is a moron. This means that The World According to Nick has been dethroned and that Dave D. was only slightly incorrect - I mean, it kinda is a dildo in a wig, but she isn't in dreadlocks, so you don't win, lol.

I could be wrong, but I wouldn't doubt if Stray Dog recognised that Hilton is more than just a moron, she is probably the stupidest moron we've had thusfar. Some people out there may try to defend her intellect, but a fake dumb blonde is a fake dumb blonde.

And, gathering by the hint, Hilton is definately #1, but not in a good way. She's #1 Worst Dressed list by PETA, #1 Worst Pet Owner, and she does #1 in public (read more about it below). Plus, Hilton thinks everything's about her, so she's #1 to herself.

Hilton's latest monstrosity is the Paris Hilton beauty line. Try saying that without laughing.

All I can think of is that now, I can pick out my very own shade of Beverly Hills trailer trash blue eye shadow.

First, she has the new fragrance, which is supposed to be based on her lifestyle, so I wouldn't doubt if it smells a little fishy (ew).

Now, she's coming out with clothes, shoes, watches, hair products, and make up.

Yes, I'd like to purchase something from your Skanky Ho collection. I'd like a Dirty Whore Dress and a pair of Bimbo loafers, and top it off with some Ditsy doorags. Plus, her watch only displays two times: get drunk and party time.

And, I can see what could happen here. Every celebrity jumped on the bandwagon for creating their own perfume, so next, we're going to see celebs all over pawning their own cosmetics. Sure, we've already got the Kate and Ashley line out there, but that's not enough. We need the Tammy Fay Baker line and the Whitney Houston crack whore collection (you'll love the white powder cosmetics).

Paris Hilton is further shown to be a moron as she heads into lawsuit after lawsuit. One of her present suits is about her alleged slander against another heiress. Diamond heiress, Zeta Graff, is suing Hilton for concocting lies to a New York Page Six publication.

Graff argues that Hilton told the publication that Graff went "berserk" at a nightclub and tried to rip a diamond necklace off Hilton's neck. Although Hilton now admits it was a lie, she claims she's not at fault and places the blame on her former publicist.

During the trial, Paris uttered stupidity such as

When questioned on the last name of a companion identified as Terry, who was with her on the night of the reported run-in with Graff, Hilton replied, "It is like a weird Greek name. Like, Douglas."
and,
Later, Graff's lawyer, Paul Berra, asked her if she was aware that the false item had made its way into "U.K. publications."

"No," Hilton replied. "There is stuff in London."

Her lawyer, Larry Stein, jumped in to explain, "London is a U.K. publication."

"Right. U.K. Whatever," Hilton answered, per the deposition.

Paris is, of course, a moron for many, many, many more reasons.

For instance, she published a book that had pink on each and every page. The book is called Confessions of an Heiress, and it has numerous helpful hints to help one know what it takes to be perceived as an heiress. All of this fabulous information can be found between chapter one: "It’s All About Me" and chapter twelve: "The Ultimate Heiress Wedding".

And, seeing as I haven't read the book, I can only imagine what the other chapter titles might be and the contents within. Here's my guess:

Chapter 2: Find a jittery purse-sized mutt or other odd pets.

Hilton has not only been noted fashioning a monkey and a ferret, but she has primarily been seen carrying her punter of a pooch, Tinkerbell. This has gotten her into a lot of hot water from animal rights groups who claim she's not taking proper care of the dog, but she's also gained negative feedback from the public for swapping Tinkerbell with another tiny Chihuahua named Bambi because Tinkerbell got too big to be her accessory.

Chapter 3: Wear yellow. Yellow is the new pink, which was the new black.

I have a premonition that yellow will be the new pink for Paris for a few reasons.

Paris may be in trouble for p*ssing in a cab in Maui. Apparently, she couldn't hold it in, so she peed in the cab on her way between bars. The cab driver towelled up her mess and plans to take it in for DNA testing (likely to cash in on a suit, but that's just my guess). Her other yellow experience is in promoting a company called goyellow.de. And finally, she shows her need to expell the yellow as she orders her aides to clear the bathroom for her and her friends whenever she wants, leaving decent, less ignorant folks waiting even longer to use the john.

Chapter 4: Finger out the food - using bulemia to stay thin and ghastly.

That's right. Some believe the horrible heiress may be barfing her way to stardom. Decide for yourself.

Chapter 5: How to conceal gossip about other famous people.

Hilton's newly learned hint - don't keep their information in your cell phone day planner because it could be hacked.

Chapter 6: Strike a pose - over and over and over again.

Some think that Hilton has variety and depth; others, however, know better.

Chapter 7: Friends in low places - how to keep friends who are wealthy, but dumb like you.

Hilton has been seen with a past Moron Of The Week, Tara Reid. She is also known to have been friends with the daughters of some cr*ppy 80s singers. Nicole Richie for one (adopted daughter of Lionel Richie) and Kimberly Stewart (daughter of Rod Stewart).

Hilton, Stewart, and Reid are also known to have topped PETA's worst-dressed list (now I'm confused: laugh at the morons or applaude for p*ssing off PETA?).

Chapter 8: Use a catchphrase to its bitter end.

Of course, we all know Paris Hilton for her stupid saying, "That's Hot", but did you know that she's not too swift on how to print it grammatically correct. (okay, she may not have made the shirt, but if you have any self-respect and knowledge of the English language, you wouldn't likely wear something so embarrassing).

Chapter 9: Hide your drug habit - it's okay to be known as a drunk, but not as a druggy.

We know Hilton for her stumbling around like a drunken lunatic, but we never hear anything about her doing drugs... until now.

Chapter 10: Keep your racist sentiments to yourself - another lesson she has not yet learned.

Hilton has been accused by her new boyfriend's friend of spewing racist remarks such as calling him a lazy Mexican.

And finally,

Chapter 11: How to maintain the appearance of a rich, waste of space on this planet.

Hilton is shown as a grubby vehicle owner as a valet, cleaning service refused to decontaminate her land rover. I guess the snotty rich b* can't get everything she wants. Apparently, the vehicle was full of sh*t, from magazines to some grody underwear (I wouldn't touch that possibly disease-ridden stuff either).

Waste of space, I mean Hilton, is also a dolt for losing £2 million worth of diamonds at a party. That sounds familiar as I remember writing about moron Tara Reid losing money at an airport, too.

And, there's always the Paris Hilton who believed in Santa until she was 17.

So, what are you saying, that Santa isn't real??? Paris Hilton, you are a mean person because I never knew that he wasn't real. Wah wah!

To conclude this, it is reported that Hilton plans to retire from her public role in 2007.

We can only hope.

My question is what publicity stunt is she planning for 2007 for her to draw a connection to herself and that year? A little baby accessory to carry in her purse? Let's just hope it doesn't grow too big, or she might get rid of it.

More on the moron:
Aw, Paris, it's not so bad, is it?
Watch Hilton screw (safe for work, non-graphic)
Paris will get with anything
Nobody likes camel toe wedgy or crotch itch.
Paris's Carl's Jr. commercial
This is one funny blog about Hilton's secret diary
Superficial both inside and out
Paris Hilton Christmas shrine
The smoking gun sex tape info
Paris wants Punxsutawney Phil as a pet
Not quite Hilton's Carl's Jr. ad
Paris just a little obsessed with herself
Paris to play Zsa Zsa Gabor in telemovie
Paris to sing about Nicole?
Hilton and her lolli, and perhaps a kiss with a friend
Another clearance for Hilton at the loo
Hilton's butt patch
For the Canucks and others who know the old tv show, The Kids In The Hall. She kind of reminds me of the chicken lady here (it's uncanny).
The scariest halloween mask ever.
Paris Hilton sings
Paris likes dogs. Maybe a little too much.
Learn some Paris quotes She'll astound you with her genius.
Paris Hilton Not Killed in Car Crash; Nation Mourns
Paris Laya

This one has explicit content - Warning: boob, twat, butt, and poor clothing choices. Viewer discretion is advised.

Congrats again Stray Dog


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Three Round-Ups For the Price of One [by Stray Dog Found]

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Holocaust Remembered

For those unaware, today is the annual International Holocaust Remembrance Day.

On January 27, 1945, Soviet forces liberated the Auschwitz-Birkenau extermination camp, discovering the largest Nazi killing center in Europe.
Today we honour the approx. 6 million victims of the Holocaust.

Although the day is riddled in conflict with some Muslim groups and perhaps other communities, it is still essential that we do not forget what happened and how what happened has supplied us the freedom we have today.

Having a personal history related to WWII, I respect the day despite the political/bureaucratic bologna that goes along with it.


The following articles have trackbacked this article:
International Holocaust Remembrance Day 2006 [by You Big Mouth, You!]

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January 26, 2006

Fact?

It is noted that president George W. Bush is cousins with Playboy founder, Hugh Hefner.

Yet another reason to love your president.

Actually, with the seeming horniness of the last US president, you'd think Clinton and Hefner were related. Bet he'd love that. The White House would be moving onto the Playboy estate.

UPDATE: Somewhere here is a joke about Hef and his relations with bush (if you know what I mean).

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Scrotum Talcum Powder

You heard me. Enjoy your freshly scented balls with new balla.

It's the

anti-chafing and anti-wetness solution for clammy sacks.
And, oh look, after you're done applying it to your genital area, you can head on over to your butt crack, armpits, and feet.

All the most attractive areas of a man can become even more appealing with balla.

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Honourable Or Pointless?

It seems a millionaire left $1.1 million to the federal government upon her death.

Margaret Taylor's will stated that her fortune was to be put towards paying off the national debt.

I don't know why, but this one initial warmed the cockles of my heart.

Although I doubt the payment will do anything truly significant, considering the size of the debt, it does sound like a thoughtful effort.

It's too bad millionaires don't have it in them to do this all the time: dead or alive.

It would be nice to see celebs, sports stars, and self-made millionaires invest more into the country that keeps them safe and well fed.

I know the cost of living is greater for the wealthy and we can't expect them to live modestly with all that cash flowing through their hands, but they could do more for their country than anyone else, if they chose to.

But, who am I to say anything? I'm certainly not in their shoes to know any better.

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P.E.R.V. Meeting Time Again

Hello PERVs.

Welcome to another meeting full of fresh and aggressively annoying protest ideas. Let's get right down to business, shall we?

I would like to discuss the unnatural and horrific product, salad in a bag. These are pre-packaged salads in which primarily lettuce and a few other innocent veggies are ripped from their homes and mutilated all for the benefit of public consumption.

We have, on our side, Meat Market Grocery, who has recently announced that it intends to discontinue the sales of salads in its produce section. They are viewing lettuce as living creatures rather than as a commodity that deserves no consideration.

A similar action is being taken by Whole Foods where they are looking into whether lobster tanks mimic natural conditions or not. Whole Foods plans to stop selling lobster.

We here at PERV say that at least lobster get to live for a while longer in the tanks, unlike the poor innocent lettuce and their babies.

Presently, we have spokespeople sending letters to grocers to boycott the sales of produce. We've stated that our celebrity spokespeople will not promote their grocery store if they do not give into our demands (I mean, requests).

PERVs, being meat eaters, argue against PETA and other animal rights groups when they say that lobster is not a health food and is "not something anybody needs to eat". As president of PERV, I say, no, but they sure are darn good!

I think it's just sick that groups like PETA protest meat eating because the less meat people eat, means the more veggies they'll eat.

Eat lobster, not lettuce!

At least lobster don't feel pain.

Viva La PERV!

Meeting Adjorned.

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U2 Song Becomes A Reality

finger condom
A woman and her son have a case against McDonalds because they claim that a hot fudge sundae they ordered was tainted with blood.

It all happened when the 12 year old ate some of his sundae and tasted blood. Upon inspection, they noted a red substance on the side of the cup and mixed in with the ice cream.

What I want to know is how he "knew" what the taste of blood was like.

What is he, a vampire?

When the two brought the issue to the manager's attention, he allegedly admitted that it was blood and that the employee who prepared the food was injured and bleeding, and was asked to keep a bandage on his finger.

I want to know why they didn't have the guy wear a finger condom. If anything, that lawsuit seems legitimate simply because they didn't ensure that the food was protected from contamination.

The owner of the restaurant, who was not present at the time, believes otherwise, however, saying that it was just strawberry syrup. He figured that the syrup probably clogged the machine and that the claim is unfounded.

Sounds like a shady owner to me. I wouldn't doubt if he was a McDonald's night shift custodian in his past. Not pretty enough to work with the public; not smart enough to work with the tills.

(I kid, of course. Every legal job is respectable to me.)

But, who knows if that really was blood or strawberry syrup in the cup.

What I do know is that I'm still glad that i don't eat at McD's.

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