The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

It's been reported that Gwyneth Paltrow is pregnant again.

Yay, more celebrity baby names to make fun of.

Her first child was named Apple, so I suppose we have an Orange to come?

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Posted by Samantha at 12:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (13)

There are many reasons to dislike PETA, too many to list here, but I have further reason to dislike them today as I learned this new info by way of Miceland.

It appears Pamela Anderson is proving herself to be more tool than ever as she advocates to have a sculpture of Colonel Sanders removed from the Kentucky state capitol.

As you all know Anderson was considered a moron of the week last year, and I wouldn't doubt if she acquires that title again this year with all the unintelligent choices she makes in life.

Alas, PETA and Pamela's plot was denied by the state, which added,

"Harland Sanders is a beloved man, and as far as this state is concerned, he exemplifies the best of Kentucky. The governor has no intention of moving his statue. If we were going to move it, it would be to a more prominent position where more people could see it."

I love it.

A KFC spokesperson added that it was

"just another misguided publicity stunt by PETA in their attempt to create a vegan society."

Try as you might, but I'll eat human before I go vegan, lol. Well, maybe or maybe not, the jury's still out on the reality of that one, but rest assured, it'll be a cold day in PETA-h*ll before I switch over.

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Posted by Samantha at 09:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (9)

This is another OTA weekend with open threads here and open trackbacks.

Hopefully, that trackback fix up solved some problems for everyone.

ADVICE: Trackback articles you want to promote that are still on your main blog page so that you can showcase your work (and it will help to attract readers).

Check out to the right side bar for who is doing open trackbacks this weekend, visit them, and link your best articles to their open trackback article, but be sure to link those you trackback in your own article.

Please do NOT link "I'm having an open trackback party" posts. They are not interesting for other readers and I'll be removing those links. You may leave a comment instead. I have a link on the right side bar already to those whom are doing open tracks, a second link is not required. I do understand some blogging software auto-trackbacks, so you are forgiven if that happens.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Why web standards? [by ★imaginekitty★]
The Road to Damascus is the Road to Serfdom [by The Business of America is Business]
LULAC Disables Anti-Minuteman Websites [by Freedom Folks]
Linkfest Haven [by Linkfest Haven]
It's Saturday - lighten up! [by Mark in Mexico]
BloggingMan 2007 [by Peakah's Provocations...]
Tin Foil Hat Time? [by third world county]
Switcheroo/Open Post [by Peakah's Provocations...]
Watching the US Figure Skating Championships [by The Noonz Wire]
Carville's Hamas Help Shows Results [by AbbaGav]
Highway to Hell [by A Blog For All]

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Posted by Samantha at 01:42 AM | Permalink

Try taking the real or fake quiz.

It's not all that difficult, but it is a time waster.

Some of it can be a little gross, but what I'd like to know is where some of those photos are from and the stories behind them.

Speaking of fake, some think the cyclops kitty uninventively named Cy may be the first spoof of the year.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

45-Calibre Justice shares this car with us: the 2009 Chevy Camaro.

Unfortunately, the only way I'll ever see that baby is by driving past it while it's parked in the Chevy lot.

Is it just me, though, or does the front end around the eyes (headlights) kinda remind you of The Car.

Now, this is the car to use for the remake of that classic movie.

It's bad a$$.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

I have been privileged to host an exclusive blog interview with MP candidate Jack Cook from the Fleetwood-Port Kells area of Surrey, one of the newest ridings in Canada.

Jack Cook is an Independent candidate who is taking an initiative in his campaign by promoting himself and his platform via DVD recording and sketch artistry.

Mr. Cook's campaign is also fairly unique in that he is running against the controversial wife of the first husband and wife team in the House of Commons, Nina Grewal (here is a chronology of the Grewal scandal).

In the exclusive interview below, you as the reader will have the opportunity to learn more about Mr. Jack Cook, discuss his platform, and determine: Kook or Candidate?

1. Can you give me an elevator pitch as to why people should vote for you? Please briefly explain your platform to those unaware.

[Jack Cook] I’m simply the most qualified in our riding to represent the citizens of Fleetwood–Port Kells. As an Independent, you really can’t promise Billion Dollar Programs. I can give my opinions on certain issues in the event something similar comes to a vote in the House of Commons. The only things that I can promise are the following:

a) If an individual has an issue with the federal government, I will arrange a meeting ASAP, listen to their concerns, create an action plan, and follow through. Something that is sadly lacking in our riding.

b) All proposed legislation in the House of Commons will be sent (electronically, I hope, to keep the costs down) to each individual in Fleetwood – Port Kells, with my opinions so that everyone will have a chance to peruse and debate before I vote.

2. Where do you plan on getting the money to fund your government programmes/changes?

[Jack Cook] As an Independent, I do not have access to government funds. However, with some successful discussions with the minister(s), funding is still possible.

3. Putting out a DVD interview is an inventive way to get your message out. My strong guess is this is a first for a candidate and a first to be distributed throughout the candidacy area, although I haven’t personally checked through my stack of old VHS tapes to be certain. How did this idea come to be?

[Jack Cook] Before deciding to run in the Federal Election, I had to create a game plan on how to get my message out. The traditional ways of purchasing ads in the local papers, flyers, and door knocking are not all that effective today. Papers tend to bunch the political ads together, flyers usually head to the trash bin without perusal, and door knocking is logistically impossible due to the number of households. The only other way was the use of SIGNS and getting ink in articles of the local papers, and as the media do not take Independents seriously, something else had be done.

I was shopping in a Costco in the USA in November when I noted a DVD player for $29.95. That got me to wonder how many people owned DVD players. There were stats of course. It was 71% overall in Canada. About 12% more in the cities and with Christmas approaching I figured this amount would increase. I contacted a few friends in the movie industry, replication industry and the numbers seemed reasonable. Certainly not much more that purchasing and installing a 1,000 signs not unlike what NINA has done.

3a. Are you going to allow the DVD to be uploaded to file-sharing software on the Internet?

[Jack Cook] A decision has not been made, but it appears that we will do this shortly, perhaps a week before E-Day.

4. When I first saw of your candidacy I noticed an artist rendering of your profile when driving through Surrey. To be honest, the first funny thought that came to my mind was “oh great - the Uni-bomber is running for office. Just throw a hood and sun glasses and it’s a match�. Now, you seem nothing like the Uni-bomber on your DVD. Is this similarity intentional or just from my own warped mind? Why the sketch drawing?

[Jack Cook] I will answer “Why� first�. When an election is called, it doesn’t matter whether Federal, Provincial or Municipal, the same sequence of events happens. A person decides to run, they believe they must get some signs made, flyers published, campaign office opened, etc., but the candidate never stops to think about what he or she is actually doing. They are marketing themselves. Most candidates use the cookie cutter concept… they all look alike.

On the other hand I had to do something that was unique and different just to get noticed and my name in their minds and then I had to educate people about who I am. The local papers were certainly not going to do it for me. Most political signs are very busy and colour coded to represent their party. In my case I used only 20% coverage, using an artist’s rendering and in black. We actually considered using a caricature at one point. Using the standard 4’ x 4’ sign together with all candidates mine stand out. The sign was only intended to create a question: WHO IS THIS GUY?

5. Can you give my readers any hints at what crazy ideas are next for Jack Cook on his campaign election?

[Jack Cook] There is one more step to the campaign, but I can’t disclose this until after the election as we are still keeping the competition guessing.

6. I have to say donating 100 units of blood in 4 countries is quite the feat, especially when I’m deadly afraid of needles. Why would you put this and other personal life facts on the film without including any hard hitting explanations of your political beliefs, leanings, and policies that you believe would be good for Canada?

[Jack Cook] The DVD was only intended to introduce myself to the citizens of Fleetwood–Port Kells. If the voters liked what they saw on the DVD then more information and opinions were available on my website. If the website still didn’t provide the information they wanted, I am available via eMail, telephone, and Blogging.

Personal accomplishments, I think, are very important. Every individual has these and are proud of these accomplishments. I wanted everyone to understand that I didn’t have horns and I was safe to invite over for dinner. (Should anyone ask)

7. There was some comedic value to the DVD, including the musical scores, the dancing/mime Jack, and when those Segway machines scrolled past the screen. Can we expect a movie/TV career from you if the election doesn’t go your way?

[Jack Cook] So far no offers. Personally I had done very little in the way of camera work previous to this DVD. I feel I was very wooden in the beginning, but I started feeling a lot more comfortable later into the DVD. It was a lot of fun, but for now, my only fingers into the movie/TV industry is the completion of my Screenplay.

8. I noticed in your DVD and old commodore machine. My technical Igor and minion that keeps www.SamanthaBurns.com running has three of those machines lying around. What is it with you ol’ computer geeks and those machines?

[Jack Cook] Well, this is when I have to let the public in on a secret. The Commodore that was in the DVD was actually a 4032, which was the second generation of Commodore machines. The original PET that I had is gone and I couldn’t find one for the shoot. The 4032 actually used the old 5.25� disks but the PET used cassette tapes for storage. Tell your friend not to sell them, they have good value and it can only get better. I am sure your IT department has some great stories to tell about the beginning of the computer industry.

9. I noticed on your website you mentioned that replacing “Unemployment Insurance, Welfare, Canada Pension, Old Age Pension, Military Pensions, Workers Compensation, etc.� with a $1000/month check per Canadian man, woman, and child would be far cheaper than maintaining these government programs. Are you serious in this statement or making a point? If not serious, then what is the point you are making? How can the government provide a social safety net efficiently, effectively, and more importantly, in such a way that people no longer require a government handout?

[Jack Cook] The idea came not from me, but from a Talk Show Host from years past: Gary Bannerman at Bannerline Communications. Gary Bannerman used to be the talk show host of CKNW before Bill Goode, Rafe Mair, and Barry Clarke. He suggested that the cost of administration for all government (Federal & Provincial) was so excessive that it was cheaper to have Revenue Canada send a cheque to everyone monthly, claw it back in taxes than it was to continue to operate most of these government programs. I have thought about it over the years and the information that I have been able to acquire suggests there may be merit to it. HOWEVER, all I suggested is that we should take a look at it. Workers compensation, ICBC, etc. also provide services that a monthly cheque can’t deliver. Nothing is as simple as a 15 second sound bit!

10. Many doctors end up in other countries where private health care exists because the income levels from private health care is tremendously better. How can Canada compete and retain good doctors with a public health system?

[Jack Cook] It can’t! The only thing that Canada can offer is a quality of life… that I don’t mind saying is slowly eroding as well. But there needs to be a political will to change and to take some heat for some unpopular decisions. Slashing GP’s income (or teachers, nurses as well) is not the answer. Only 7% of healthcare costs go to GP’s. If this increases to 8% we don’t have a doctor shortage. Perhaps it is time to look at assembly line medicine not unlike what Alberta and Manitoba have done with respective surgical procedures.

11. Canada has a birth rate of 1.5 per woman and 2.1 per woman birthrate is required to sustain population numbers. Perhaps your $1000/child/month idea is a good one as a woman with 10 children would earn $120,000/year and the birth rate would soar. In all seriousness, what can be done about this looming crisis?

[Jack Cook] I’m note sure if it is a crisis. It is true that the only way for Canada to sustain an economic structure to what we are accustomed is to have a specific birth rate, but immigration is mostly meeting the needs of the country. Is this a crisis? Actually the figure would be $132,000 per year as mom would be included as well. But consider the mortgage for a house with 7 bedrooms, food, two cars, fuel, dental, etc. I’m not sure if the family would be all that well off. I am sure that dad would have to work as well. A trip to Disneyland would cost $15,000+/-. Quebec already offers a baby bonus.

12. You mentioned that a minority government is a probability. As a result, any minority government won’t be very effective at getting any interesting legislation done. Sometimes, I feel that politicians who achieve virtually nothing is a good thing when they aren’t able to muck around in people’s lives. As an Independent, how effective will you be in a minority government?

[Jack Cook] I think that if we do get another minority government, the politicians will get it this time around and will work together much better. It will probably be conservative; the other parties will offer support when the conservatives water down some of their severe right wing ideas. The conservative leader (Harper) will not want to burn too many bridges, so he will understand that everyone in the House of Commons is important. This will make the House more effective and Independents like me more effective. If he goes arrogant, then a whole new rat-pack will morph into a headache that he will be the architect of.

13. In your opinion what are the most important roles government have in our Canadian society?

[Jack Cook] To better manage the people’s assets, making for a fair & safe society and insuring the well being of the citizens.

13a. What are the areas the Canadian government should butt its nose out of?

[Jack Cook] There are secret files on all those Canadians who went to Russia in 1972. And the government will not release these files to the individuals who went! WHY? Who cares about same sex marriage! If similar genders want to get married let them. But beware… Revenue Canada is rubbing its collective hands on this one.

14. Promising/increasing social programs tends to buy votes for those who would benefit, and cutting social programs yields protest from those whom would be affected. Realistically how can Canadians reduce the size of government when implementing cuts tend to lose votes for politicians who rely on votes/polling to survive politically? In other words, why should I believe any politician that says they will reduce government spending when it’s not in their own best interest?

[Jack Cook] Good question! I guess it gets down to a group of MP’s who can convince the voters that in the long run it is expedient to make a cut. Bill Bennett managed it a few decades ago. He was not popular but he did get re-elected.

15. Do you believe in term limits for MPs?

[Jack Cook] Yes, but let’s not forget our senators either.

16. Independents rarely win a riding. Do you honestly believe you can win?

[Jack Cook] Of course I can win and I will. Play to win, but have fun doing it.

16a. What is your motivation for running?

[Jack Cook] To finally have someone properly represent the interests of its citizens. It has been sadly lacking the last 17 months.

17. Do you have any favourite blogs or websites that you read?

[Jack Cook] This is embarrassing coming from an old techie, but other than the tyee online magazine The Tyee I haven’t blogged much. Sorry.

18. How can people contact you if they have questions or would like to aid in your campaign?

[Jack Cook] eMail: Jack@JackCook.ca or Phone: 604-288-2049 or Blog: www.JackCook.ca

19. Is there anything that you would like to add that has not been asked here?

[Jack Cook] If I am successful, expect to see a lot more DVD’s in your mail box (snail mail that is).

Thank you very much, Jack Cook, for the opportunity of interviewing you for the upcoming 2006 federal election in Canada.

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Posted by Samantha at 09:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Cindy Sheehan

Please accept your award.

Cindy Sheehan: congratulations, you are the rabbit, I mean 2005 Moron Of The Year.

(Sorry, not rabbit. Rabbits are MUCH cuter.)

Of course, she isn't recognised as the Moron Of The Year for the death of her son: although horrible to die, he did depart a hero (wish she'd acknowledge that reality, but reality isn't quite her thing now is it?).

Cindy Sheehan is, however, credited as the first ever Moron Of The Year for numerous other reasons, all of which you can read about here.

As mentioned in the article on her:

Cindy Sheehan is a stark-raving mad anti-war protester who does nothing, but seek the fame of media attention all the while shaming her son after his death.

Sean Penn came in as a distant second for all of his moronic stunts, particularly his 'tardy look while bailing out water from his boat during a publicity stunt in New Orleans.

I'd like to thank once again A North American Patriot for the voting site and imaginekitty for such a fitting award design.

Now, on to more morons. I've got a feeling this year is going to be loaded with them.

See you again for the 2006 MOTYs (assuming it all remains successful), and congratulations again to Cindy "The Moron" Sheehan.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Moron of the Year 2005 [by Sakrata.com]
ANNOUNCEMENT: 2005 MOTY Results [by ★imaginekitty★]
MOTY Winner [by Drunken Wisdom]

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)

Although I don't agree with them all, here is a list of all the Canadian dorks out there:

Those Loser Canucks... and I don't mean the team.

I'm just glad I'm not listed there.

Note: Premier Gordon Campbell, the drunk Canuck, is still running this province. Duh, h'okay then.

And then there's Stockwell Day, a one time potential Canadian leader, but still in politics. This is his infamous mark in history: showing up to a press conference on a seadoo and in a spandex wetsuit. One speedo away from a potential win and Canada's answer to Politicians Gone Bad.

Oh gosh, that Steven Cojocaru fashion god(dess) is a Canadian. Noooooooo....

The Celine Dion pic is the tops, though, isn't it? *shudder*

Many of those on the list, however, do not deserve to be there because I think they're awesome.

And, if I think they're awesome, then they're awesome. Lol.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

You may be asking what the cheesiest thing on the net right now is... well, I may not have the answer, but I definately found a contender.

Meet the Milk Hip Hop website. You can watch the raver/rapper milk commercials from the site or download your own moo tones.

I didn't last more than a few seconds there; it was beastly and painful.

Enjoy.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I noticed that last weeks OTA only had two trackbacks whereas normally trackbacks are numerous. Finally, I discovered the reason - evil spammers.

My filters were working properly, but Movable Type was rejecting all trackbacks because the trackbacks/minute limitation that is built into the system. Spammers would constantly hit with trackbacks preventing real trackbacks from working.

So I found this Learning Movable Type article that explains some techniques to cut down on spam.

I did the tricks recommended and removed the 'auto-trackback' discovery feature which spammers were using to discover how to trackback to this site with their spamming tools. So far, no trackback spam but I expect them to keep trying.

Evil spammers should be boiled alive in a vat of corrosive toxic waste. Or worse, be forced to listen to a speech by Cindy Sheehan with intermissions by Celine Dion. Too cruel perhaps? Nah, they are spammers.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Samantha Has A Plan For Dealing With Spammers. [by The Bullwinkle Blog]
Samantha Has A Plan For Dealing With Spammers. [by The Bullwinkle Blog]

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Posted by MrBig at 01:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Fitch Is Always Right unofficially asked me to list my predictions for the year 2006. So, after some long, heartfelt contemplation, I have come up with a list for you all.

Here goes:

A North American Patriot will finally win a weblog award when pitted against those annoying beavers.

Diane's Stuff and I'm just a girl will remain successful in their non-smoking endeavor.

Selfishly Asleep will make her break in the acting business and will star as Sam, in the new tv show about a nannying blogger called simply, Samantha.

Similar to Fitch's prediction that the Daily Kos will be booted from ttlb as a non-blog, I predict that ALL non-blogs will be booted out of the ttlb blog ranking system. (if the prediction doesn't come through, it will remain on my wish list nonetheless).

Unfortunately, Canada will continue to have a pussy of a government.

Slowly and unknowingly, Sam's site will become a pornography site.

I predict this will be yet another year of cheesy sequels to movies (hey, what can I say, it's a safe bet). Bring on The Dukes of Hazzard 2, Supercross 2, Monster-in-law 2, Bewitched 2, Son of the Mask 2, and Alone in the Dark 2.

I predict reality tv will die a horrible, but desired by many, death (perhaps that's just a dream of mine, though).

Velvet Revolver will come out with a new record (and by record, I mean cd to all you punk kids out there, lol).

The Conservative Cat will be recognised worldwide as the most amazing blogger of all time. I mean, he is a cat afterall.

And, linking to the one who started the predictions for 2006, The Deep Frozen, I don't know much about baseball and the Mets, but I predict that the Springfield Isotopes will finally win one.

Plus, I couldn't agree more that another huge natural distaster will happen in 2006, rivaling the tsunami and Katrina. And, stupid me for living near ocean level near the pacific, can only hope it won't be occurring here, but you can guarantee I won't be the one crying and whining that it was the PM's fault since I chose to live here.

And, finally, I will somehow figure out a way of proving that Fitch is NOT, in fact, always right, even if he was right about this being a fun article to write.

UPDATE: shoot, I forgot to add that this is like a tag thingy where you can write your own 2006 predictions and leave me a comment so that I can go check it out. I would be interested to hear what many of you have to say about this year and what's in store.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

A Product of Lost in Lima Ohio, upon approval by your truly.

It used to be that when your loved ones passed on, the surviving family and friends would gather together to bury them. They'd all gather around, say their blessing and perhaps lay a few flowers down.

Well, no more of that. Turn the A/C on, stick them in their favorite chair and plant them in front of the TV. Then, when friends come to town, rather than making their way to the old cemetery, they can quickly pop their head in the room and day "hi".

I know, many of you are just turning your noses at the idea. Didn't really like uncle Bob? Short a spare room in the house? That's okay too! Just stash em away in the bedroom wardrobe (closet).

It's all the rage. Why bother putting six feet of cold earth between lost loves and yourself, when you can just as easily keep them hanging around the family home for a few extra years.

If all else fails, and you can convince yourself to keep your dead loved one in your own home, you could always pack him in a suitcase and think of how to ship him to his favorite place.

As for me, I'm sticking with the out of fashion practice of burying them. But, only because I don't think the whole "death" look goes with my present home decor.

Article contributed by Lost in Lima Ohio

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Posted by lostinlimaohio at 12:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

D*mn monkeys, blowing the whole feminist movement to sh*t.

Thanks goes to Pete the elder for informing us of a study done with vervet monkeys.

Don't we all love monkeys.

They're, like, relatives or something.

(I mean, really, don't we all know someone in our lives who flings poop?)

And, that relation might be proven further in the study, which showed that when given trucks, dolls, and stuffed animals,

"the male monkeys ended up playing more with the trucks and balls, the female monkeys played more with the dolls and cooking pots".

So, I guess now when someone comes up to you and says that women don't belong in the kitchen, you can shove this article in their face.

Being a woman who likes to get out from domesticity once in a while and ratbag a car at optimum speed on occasion, you must know that I'm joking.

But, this article caters to my anthropological side further, as researchers speculate

"that females of both species prefer dolls because evolution programmed them to care for infants. Males may have evolved toy preferences that involve throwing and moving, skills useful for hunting and finding a mate."

Although there are fewer of those societies, they do exist and have existed throughout history.

But, I digress, this article isn't about anthropology, it's about monkeys.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Vervet Monkeys and the socialization of gender roles [by Anthropology.net]

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Voting has concluded for the 2005 Moron Of The Year awards.

Thank you to everyone who voted!

The Moron Of The Year will be announced this Friday, January 13, 2006.

Special thanks goes to A North American Patriot for setting me up with the voting site.

And, another special thanks goes to imaginekitty for the MOTY image.

Results posted January 13th.

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Posted by Samantha at 11:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (39)

Yup, that's how I'm going to die: being remembered as the toilet chick.

Composting Toilet World has done a news article on my interview with Green Party candidate, Scott Janzen.

So, does that mean that every time you take a dump on a bunch of worms, you'll think of the name Sam Burns?

Come to think of it, they should advertise on my site: they'd be a perfect sponsor.

My mind's always in the toilet, anyway.

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Posted by Samantha at 04:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I have to share this one with you all because it's a favourite of mine that my dad used to tease me with.

My dad used to always tell me whenever he could that I was good and kind.

Aw, how nice, eh.

That's what I thought.

Then, he'd come out with it.

You're Good and Kind. Good for nothing and Kinda stupid.

As you can tell, my dad and I teased each other lots. Gee wonder where I got my sense of humour from, lol.

But, if you think "stupid" is too harsh a word, you can always substitute it with the word "slow".

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Posted by Samantha at 01:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I'm afraid that only Canadians will probably get this one, but I want to know who else out there watches those Canadian Tire commercials and thinks that bearded guy (also known as the Canadian Tire Guy, or CTG to me) looks and acts a lot like Ned Flanders from The Simpsons?

Ok-ily Dok-ily.

Regardless of whether you see the connection or not, you may enjoy reading this news bit on how the Canadian Tire spokescouple divorce.

Turns out CTG is actually a man named Ted Simonett - an actor (he was in Police Academy 4, a The Twilight Zone episode, and a Poltergeist episode, so he can't be all that bad, right?), singer, musician, and possibly into photography, as well. (Although, I have no real evidence that the photo is really from the same Ted Simonett, but that camera in his hands suggests something)

I think the most lame part of it all is that apparently he has a contract with Canadian Tire that states he's not allowed to do interviews as a way of maintaining his dorky image for the commercials.

I guess he's not such a douche in real life, or something.

I mean, do you think we really care about this Canadian version of Nedily-Doodily? No, we really would rather see his demise than go another year with him pushing his cr*ppy products.

I hope the guy's getting paid a fortune to be under that contract, though, because I can only imagine that someone out there could be setting up a hit on the guy.

Others who agree on Canadian Tire Guy's irritation and appearance as Ned Flanders:

ob.blog

The compiled thoughts of Dave Onishenko

Mr. Beardy McBeardface

His domain name seems still up for grabs.

This is a pretty good example of who the Canadian Tire couple are: Royal Canadian Air Farce

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Posted by Samantha at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

From the Green Party of Canada in the Burnaby-New Westminster area of BC, I introduce Mr. Scott Janzen. The Green Party, to many Canadians, is a party based on environmentalism: conserving and preserving things that may or may not need to be conserved or preserved, as well as promoting healthy lifestyle choices. Hence, a recent junk food taxation proposal by Green Party leader, Jim Harris.

As the reader, you have the opportunity to learn a little about Canadian politics and politicians, discuss the issues, and decide: kook or candidate?

1. Can you give me an elevator pitch as to why people should vote for you? Please briefly explain your platform to those unaware.

[Scott Janzen] I am running to promote the Green party's values of:
1. Ecological Wisdom
2. Social Justice
3. Participatory Democracy
4. Non-Violence
5. Sustainability
6. Respect for Diversity

If elected, every decision I make will be based on these values and I will be a voice in parliament for accountable and responsible government.

We are at a crossroads in history right now. With our current levels of consumption and pollution, the status quo of government and business is unsustainable. The Green Party is the only party with the courage to acknowledge this issue and develop a road map for us to change this situation.

If you are concerned about how we are affecting future generations by our actions today, a vote for me will represent your concern.

2. Where do you plan on getting the money to fund your government programmes/changes?

[Scott Janzen] I do not believe in in-debting future generations just to find a short term gain. I do believe in proper investment that, over the long term, will provide the most effective method of providing government services to citizens. Most of the programs that I intend to champion will be funded by shifting our tax base to natural resources (including private land) an relieving the tax burden from employment income. I would also support the cessation of the nearly 1.4 billion in yearly subsidies directed to the thriving oil and gas industry.

3. Aren't there more effective ways to solve problems without government?

[Scott Janzen] For every problem there are a myriad of solutions. Some problems can best be solved through government intervention and some are best tackled through other organizations. What is important is that a Canadian governmentsupports the most sustainable solutions in all situations. Stop-gap measures do help anybody in the long run.

4. When one hears the name the Green Party of Canada, the first thing that comes to mind is a bunch of tree huggers and tree-spiking hippies. Is that a fair and accurate description? If not, why?

[Scott Janzen] I don't see anything wrong with hugging a tree, but spiking a tree and endangering someone's life is irresponsible. The Green Party can more accurately be called the Common Sense Party, as we agree with good ideas and solutions to problems no matter if they come from the political right or left. If anyone takes the time to read our platform, their confusion as to the identity of the Green Party will quickly disapear and I think most people will find that they agree with most of our platform; it's full of common sense.

5. How do you feel about the actions of eco-terrorists? Do you believe they help or hinder your cause?

[Scott Janzen] Terrorism is an unsustainable method to bring about societal change. As a descendant of Mennonite immigrants, I strongly believe that the only way to bring about change is through non-violent methods. To protect the environment, personal sacrifice and education are the tools we must use, not violence.

6. 'Frankenfoods', genetically modified crops, and pesticide-controlled foods tend to yield far more crop per square acre than going organic. With rampant worldwide starvation, doesn't it seem more logical route to take than going organic where crop yields would be greatly reduced?

[Scott Janzen] World hunger is a serious issue. Today, with the current world production of food and our current population, we don't have an issue of food scarcity, we have an issue of not getting the food into the areas where it is needed most. The danger with relying upon pesticides and genetically modified crops to feed the world is two-fold. One, we don't know what the long-term consequences are from ingesting this type of food and two, we cannot continue to think that endless growth and consumption is a good thing. No matter what methods we use to produce food, we live on a planet with limited resources and we will run out of resources if we continue to increase our consumption. The Green Party recognizes this and will implement programs to help us live sustainably within the limits of our resources on this planet.

7. Should First Nations (Indians to our readers to the south) be forced to give up unregulated fishing and hunting in the name of conservation?

[Scott Janzen] First Nations groups have a respect for and a responsibility to the natural resources in their homelands. In many jurisdictions, First Nations have observed the un-abated rape of their land for profit and governments have ecouraged these groups to partake in the abuse. The Green Party, through negotiations with First Nations groups will implement government regulations that support the sustainable harvest of nature while respecting the ancestoral rights of the First Nations.

8. Isn't a little deforestation worth the livelihoods of BCers working in the forestry industry? Same question goes for the oil industry and drilling up north.

[Scott Janzen] Short term gain is not worth long term devastation. There are ways in which we can ecourage environmentally safe harvest of our resources, but we a government with the courage to change. In fact, by ensuring that the forestry industry and the oil industry are environmentally sustainable will help these companies compete globaly and create more jobs.

9. The biggest polluters of CO2 tend to be volcanoes and cow flatulence. What good are our personal conservation efforts when they are being flagrantly violated by nature?

[Scott Janzen] More pressing than climate change are air pollution in our cities and scarcity of input resources for our economy. Nature is much more powerful than the human race and will survive even if we kill ourselves off through overconsumption. Personal conservation merely alows humans to continue to exist on this planet.

10. We've come a long way from the polluting days of the industrial age. Our rivers and lakes are cleaner, sewage is being treated, pollution and smog are down, deforestation is on the decline, yet environmentalists are raising the panic flag higher than ever. Can you justify these actions?

[Scott Janzen] Our rivers and lakes are cleaner? There may be some success cases along these lines, but on the whole the world has much less clean fresh water available. The scarcity is more apparent when you look up how much water if available per person world wide. The real problem is the cancerous growth of humanity throughout the world, we are starting to reach the world's carrying capacity for the human race.

11. Oil and coal are primary energy sources, fuelling our economy and allowing us to enjoy the lifestyle we do. Should we go back to horse and buggy days and deal with horse pollution, because last time I checked, solar panels do not work in Vancouver for at least 6 months out of the year?

[Scott Janzen] Advances in technology can actually help us use less energy than ever. We just have to commit and have proper support to reach energy reduction goals.

12. The Marajuana Party of Canada wants to legalize the drug. In your opinion, should hemp be used for clothing, smoking, or both? Further, what is you opinion on legalising hardcore drugs?

[Scott Janzen] Marajuana should be legalized in order to reduce the amount of money funneled to organized crime and other drug trade. Personally, I don't think smoking is a healthy way to injest anything, but I also don't think that gambling is that effective of a way to make money (especially with my poker skills), but making these things illegal just fuels crime (as seen with 1920's prohibition). As for hardcore drugs, I think we can go a long way to hardcore drug use by ending poverty and build strong healthy communities. If you are happy with yourself, your life and you have a community that supports you, you won't have much need of chemical supplements.

13. [This one's for a little fun for my readers] What do you think of compost toilets such as Envirolets? Do you have one and would you push for this to replace American Standards in every Canadian home? I mean, they are made in Canada afterall.

[Scott Janzen] I don't have one of these toilets, but it looks like a good idea. I do have a low flush (6 litres per flush) toilet that has reduced our water use. I would think that the envirolet may be suitable in some sites, but I don't know if it would work in a condo. I'll have to read up on it.

14. How do you feel about Americans? And, what is your opinion on Paul Martin using attacks against Americans to appear as a strong leader who does not bow down to US wishes?

[Scott Janzen] Most of my wife's family are Americans and I really enjoy all of of their company. The American government and the American people are two very different things. I don't think you have to insult someone in order to stand up to them.

15. How would you respond to Tucker Carlson's characterisation that Canadians live in igloos and ride dogsleds to work? Referring to www.twbookmark.com

[Scott Janzen] Wouldn't that be fun, riding a dogsled to work. Tucker 's ignorance is his responsibility, not mine.

16. Why should people with more money pay higher taxes? Isn't everyone in Canada equal and shouldn't they contribute equally?

[Scott Janzen] I would like to see Canadians pay taxes based on how much public resources they privately control or use and not on how much money they make.

17. When the government tends to be horribly inefficient and ineffective, why do we continue to tack on social programme after social programme, crippling our population's tax burden further?

[Scott Janzen] Great point. Elect me to government and I'll work to improve government efficiency.

18. Aren't there more effective ways to solve problems without government?

[Scott Janzen] See Above

19. If you have a millionaire willing to pay for his own private medical care, why should Joe-poor be forced to pay for Joe-rich?

[Scott Janzen] If a millionaire wishes to pay for his or her private medical care, what is stopping them from hopping on a plane to US or India? Providing health care to millionaires is not the problem, we have to work to provide health care and not just sick care to all Canadians. Most of which are not millionaires.

20. Everyone born and raised in BC has smoked pot. Have you? And, did you inhale?

[Scott Janzen] I'm not born or raised in BC (Saskatchewan and Alberta respectively), but I have smoked pot and I inhaled. Like I said before though, I don't think smoking is the healthiest way to injest things.

21. Do you have any favourite blogs or websites that you read?

[Scott Janzen] Burnaby Politics

22. How can people contact you if they have questions or would like to aid in your campaign?

[Scott Janzen] Best is by e-mail: sjanzen@greenparty.ca or check out my blog

23. Is there anything that you would like to add that has not been asked here?

[Scott Janzen] Whew, I barely got through those questions. I hope people come out to the all candidate debates in their ridings and thank you for your interest in my campaign.

Thank you, Mr. Janzen, for taking part in the interview and answering a few questions regarding your 2006 Canada election campaign.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Difster asked me this zany question:

What would you do with your time if you had only 2 weeks left to live?

That would take a few hours of day 1.

Then, I'd go have a bath and while soaking, I'd think of another 10 things to add to my organised agenda. So, I'd finish my bath and head back to the "drawing board" to reschedule.

Eventually, I'll realise that it's lunch time and that I should go eat something. Seeing that it's only 1 of 7 days left, I should probably eat something elaborate and delicious, spending whatever I want to enjoy it, but no, I go to the kitchen to pick up the first available thing - a slice of bread. No time to toast it or put anything on it because I have to get back to rescheduling.

Once that's done, I'll spend the rest of the day calling everyone and telling people online that I have only 6 more days left to live.

That pretty much consumes my first day, other than a brief meal of microwaved leftovers or whatever I had the day before.

Day 2 willl pretty much go the same as I realise I've scheduled day 1 as if I still had a day 1 left. And, so on and so forth.

Actually, if I really had only one week to live, I'd do the three things I love most: sleep, eat, and well... you know. Okay, okay, I might take in a couple big adventures. #1 on that list would be free-fall skydiving.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Today is the last day to get your vote in for your favourite Moron Of The Year if you haven't already done so.

I don't know how you all chose who to go with; it had to be a tough call.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Tomorrow is the last day for the MOTYs, so get your vote in while you can.

OJ and Saddam are still not morons according to the polls because no one has voted for them.

Either that or they are so obviously morons that they don't need to win an award for it.

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Posted by Samantha at 05:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

You know you're something special when you've been listed as one of the blogs that should be turned into tv.

However, my voice is more on the low-pitch nasally side and it's not quite as annoying.

And, when it comes to MR.BIG, my boss and friend, and his relation to Mr. Big from Sex and the City, I don't want to know anything about it.

I don't even want to go there.

Also, when it comes to the Bob and Doug Mackenzie part, why not get some brewskies, sit down you hoseheads, and watch some Kanadian Korner, eh.

But, which one am I, eh... Bob or Doug?

Mistersnitch, thanks, I got a tear laughing from that one.

Thanks also to Jason Coleman for informing me of this one.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

I haven't done a tagged thingy in a while, mainly because I'm not a fan of them, but I've got some time to kill. And, although I think I've done this one before, I can relate to at least one of Shamrocks! (the one who tagged me) 5 things, so I'll do this tag again.

Here goes, 5 Weird Things About Me:

1. I'm not weird, you are! I have the are too/are not attitude of a child. I am so childish sometimes, it's not even funny. I don't see any reason to take life too darn seriously, and although I have a strong head on my shoulders, I can't help, but let the kid in me take over from time to time. Okay, perhaps that's not too weird, but there's more....

2. Similar to Shamrocks! and his Superman costume, I loved my Wonder Woman outfit. I used to wear it a lot when I was 5. I wore it to school once, too, I was that obsessed with the thing. The kids didn't really make that much fun of me, but I felt a little uncomfortable and out of place walking to school in it, so I never did it again. Now, if only I could get my hands on a Bart Simpson outfit....

3. I have another similarity to Shamrocks! in that I missed out when I was on a vacation. I was in Las Vegas with my mom just after turning 19, and I got this wicked arse flu/sun stroke thing. I've never seen so much green coming out of two places at once (sorry for the graphic). I ended up missing out on seeing an awesome show called EFX at the MGM Grand - $72 US down the drain for me on the price of my ticket. To boot, my mom turned into a criminal that day as she tried to scalp my ticket for me. There were no buyers. I also missed out on seeing Penn & Teller, but fortunately I hadn't bought the ticket for that one yet.

4. People who learn this about me tend to p*ss me off by using it against me, but seeing as you aren't likely to meet up with me any day soon, I'll let you in on it. I CANNOT be rubbed the wrong way. And, by that, I mean literally. It irritates me to no end when people rub my skin or arm/leg hairs upwards instead of downwards. Please tell me I'm not the only one out there like this. My mom likens me to a cat in that sense, and what's worse, she's tells any new friends of mine about it when she meets them. ARG!!! I hate that feeling.

5. I still read Archie comic books. Going on 31 in a few months, but read Archie comics almost nightly. Double Digest are the sh*t!

As always, I will not tag anyone, but if you choose to do this on your own, leave me a comment, and I'll go check it out.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

The Marijuana Party of Canada (yes, we have one) candidate for the Victoria, BC riding, Fred Mallach, graciously answered my interview questions - some serious, some light-hearted. And now you, the reader, have the opportunity to read, discuss, and determine: Kook or Candidate?

Even if you aren't from Canada you may get a kick out of some questions and answers provided. Further, you may learn something about us that you didn't already know... and may not have wanted to in the first place.

1. Can you give me an elevator pitch as to why people should vote for you? Please briefly explain your platform to those unaware.

[Fred Mallach] My name is Fred Mallach and I am the Marijuana Party candidate for the Victoria riding in the upcoming federal election.

The first thing that I want to say is that the Marijuana Party is not about pot!
It is about pot politics.

The marijuana industry is worth more than 7 billion dollars a year in BC. The only platform the Marijuana Party has is to legalize marijuana.

I want to legalize it, regulate it, and tax it, and use the money to support housing, education, detox facilities, safe consumption sites and other harm reduction programs.

In addition I have identified 4 key issues for Victoria, which were developed after attending harm reduction open houses, provincial and municipal election debates, development presentations and town hall meetings.

The issues are housing, education, healthcare and the environment.

On January 23 if you haven’t voted in a while or if you’ve never voted before please vote for me, Fred Mallach, and I will take THC to Ottawa. Truth, Honour and Compassion.

2. Where do you plan on getting the money to fund your government programmes/changes?

[Fred Mallach] Income tax, excise tax, gst and pst on the production, distribution and sale of marijuana.

3. Aren't there more effective ways to solve problems without government?

[Fred Mallach] Some problems are too complex and systemic to solve themselves. Since prohibition was initiated by the government and it is the law of the land, it will take the will of the people and the government to repeal the law.

4. When one hears the name the Marijuana Party of Canada, the first thing that comes to mind is a bunch of stoner hippies with no realistic goals other than to legalise pot. Is that a fair and accurate description?

[Fred Mallach] No.

5. How do you justify legalizing pot, but not other drugs like heroin and cocaine?

[Fred Mallach] It is hard enough convincing people that the greatist harm from marijuana is its criminalization, it would be impossible at this time to advocate for the legalization of heroin and cocaine. However, the Health Officers Council of British Columbia Discussion Paper Fall 2005 did just that, calling for the legalization of all drugs.

6. Marijuana production is a massive underground economy in BC. Wouldn’t legalizing it drive the price down? And, if so, how would the government maintain a profit through taxation if everyone could grow it legally?

[Fred Mallach] Have you ever had homemade beer?

7. Isn’t the Marijuana Party of Canada just a throw-back hippy movement? Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

[Fred Mallach] I don't know of too many hippies that ran for parliament. If you mean hippy to mean someone who ascribes to the lyrics of John Lennon's song 'Imagine', then I would be happy to admit to being a hippy.

8. It’s been found that there is a link between marijuana use and memory loss to the point of debilitation. On a personal, and related note, I knew a person who was a pot head who would ramble and repeat the same story hour after hour, day after day. Is this really what we want to see in parliament? Will government meetings end up going on, seemingly forever, and will tax payers end up footing the bill for their munchies?

[Fred Mallach] Don't they do that now already?

9. Have you ever participated in a protest? Do you feel they are effective ways to get a message across?

[Fred Mallach] Once, in grade nine, regarding the shift system where half of the school went to class in the morning and the other half went to class in the afternoon. I organized the walk out and once everyone came outside the principal told everyone to go back into school. Everyone went back to class except me, I went to the principal's office. I learned that protests are not always effective ways to get your message across.

10. How do you feel about Americans? And, what is your opinion on Paul Martin using attacks against Americans to appear as a strong leader who does not bow down to US wishes?

[Fred Mallach] Do you mean the American people or the American governement? I like the people.... Pathetic. Because of Jean Cretien we did not follow the US into Iraq. If Martin or Harper had been Prime Minister at the time, we would have gone.

11. How would you respond to Tucker Carlson's characterisation that Canadians live in igloos and ride dogsleds to work? Referring to http://www.twbookmark.com/books/16/0446529761/chapter_excerpt17539.html

[Samantha Burns interjects jokingly: There was no response to this question. Perhaps overlooked; perhaps too stoned to notice it was missed. ;-) Oh wait, it's not about pot, but pot politics right. I tease, I tease]

12. Why should people with more money pay higher taxes? Isn’t everyone in Canada equal and shouldn’t they contribute equally?

[Fred Mallach] Not all people are able to look after themselves. Do you want to burden lower income earners with the same social responsibility as a high wage earner?

13. When the government tends to be horribly inefficient and ineffective, why do we continue to tack on social programme after social programme, crippling our population's tax burden further?

[Fred Mallach] With three levels of government, duplication and inefficiencies are something that must be coordinated. When you make the statement that 'government tends to be horribly inefficient and ineffective' it is a generalization on your part. Which social programme(s) do you want to cut?

14. If you have a millionaire willing to pay for his own private medical care, why should Joe-poor be forced to pay for Joe-rich?

[Fred Mallach] In Canada we have equal access to medical care, second to none in the world. When you really need the care, I have found that the system comes through in spades. What we need is a reduction of unnecessary treatments and procedures with an emphasis on prevention. With the population of Canada aging, and with obesity on the rise, we need to address these trends before they overwhelm the system. If Joe-rich jumps the queue it takes away from the publicly funded system.

15. How do you expect to win when everyone who would vote for you may be too stoned to go to the polls?

[Fred Mallach] What makes you assume that only people who smoke pot would vote for me?

16. Do you have any favourite blogs or websites that you read?

[Fred Mallach] CMAP (Canadian Media Awareness Program) and of course, your blog from now on!

17. How can people contact you if they have questions or would like to aid in your campaign?

[Fred Mallach] www.fredmallach.ca or by e-mail fred.mallach@shaw.ca

18. Is there anything that you would like to add that has not been asked here?

[Fred Mallach] I believe that we need to elect better people to government. The party system is broken. If we elected 308 honest, creative, caring individuals, it would not matter if the blue team won, or the red team, or the orange team. We would have a house made up of people that are there for the right reasons, not because of the wrong reasons.

And to prove my point, if we drew 308 names out of a hat we would end up with a parliament which would be no worse than what we have now!

I thank you, Mr. Fred Mallach, for your time, and I appreciate your responses to questions that many Canadians have regarding your party.

The following articles have trackbacked this article:
Just Say No [by Fitch Is Always Right]

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Posted by Samantha at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (8)

I could see PETA getting up in arms about this one.

Moonbat Monitor writes about a mouse who got its tail lit on fire after a man was burning it amongst the leaves in his yard. The mouse was terrorizing the man in his home, so the man took the mouse out to the pile of leaves, dropped it in there, and set the leaves on fire.

The mouse retaliated by running from out of the pile with its tail ablaze and into the man's house where it began setting fire to the place and its contents.

Everything was destroyed, but no one was hurt.

Well... no one got hurt, but the mouse - as PETA would cry.

I'm thinking the man would have been better off had he taken the mouse to the nearest laboratory for some animal testing. See, those pests ARE good for nothing, but for testing on and annoying home owners.

UPDATE: The man who started the fire now says that the story was a fabrication and that the mouse was actually dead before being tossed into the leaves, but I don't know if I believe that. Perhaps PETA has threatened the poor guy's life, and he has been reduced to a lie for the sake of personal protection.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Found this link time killer at Independent Country.

BBC Learning... to the rescue.

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Posted by Samantha at 04:59 PM | Permalink

MacStansbury.org sent me this from Beautiful Atrocities who worded it just right:

Where is PETA when you really need them?

What the worst part of it is is that MR.BIG looked over at my computer while I was researching it and asked what the heck I was in to.

You know how they call it muff diving between people, what do they call this, dorsal diving?

*shudder*

I guess this is the one time in history that PETA might actually be of use. Any other time...

Good. For. Nothing.

Dolphins in the news:

Human's get implants and penile enlargements, Dolphin gets prosthetic tail.

Lovin' dolphins in the Bahamas.

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Posted by Samantha at 01:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Apparently, Oprah and her book of the whatever club has been duped.

Last October, Oprah had a book called, A Million Little Pieces by James Frey that she was promoting to her club and to her audience.

The book was pushed as a nonfiction, but as it turns out, it was full of deception and manipulation of facts.

The con was so unnoticed that the Oprah episode was titled "The Man Who Kept Oprah Awake At Night" and much of her crew went unaware, as well.

Oprah stated on the episode,

"[it's] like nothing you've ever read before. Everybody at Harpo is reading it. When we were staying up late at night reading it, we'd come in the next morning saying, 'What page are you on?'"

"I'm crying 'cause these are all my Harpo family so, and we all loved the book so much."

Perhaps this is just a repercussion of her seemingly nasty behaviour. It's coming back to her in some not-so-subtle ways.

As a result of Oprah's lack of investigating, Frey's book remained on the best seller's list for the last 15 weeks and has raised millions of $.

I guess Frey's book will have to be moved from the nonfiction section to the fiction shelf, but I'm sure with the bucks he's made, he doesn't care too darn much.

For more on the book and the scandal: The Smoking Gun.

Also check out this Oprah Poop article.

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Posted by Samantha at 10:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Recently, I had the pleasure of interviewing some local politicians for the upcoming federal election in Canada, January 23, 2006.

Here, you as the reader will have the opportunity to read up on various issues in Canada and decide if the politicians' responses make them legitimate kooks or legitimate candidates.

The first potential MP (Member of Parliament) I have interviewed is Mr. Paul Warnett, an Independent running in the New Westminster-Coquitlam-Port Moody riding of British Columbia, Canada. Mr. Warnett's goals are as follows:

1. Restoring the faith of Canadians in our criminal justice system.
2. Criminals receiving a punishment that fits their crime.
3. A reduction in crime by investing more resources for rehabilitation for young offenders and first time adult offenders and keeping repeat offenders in prison.

1. According to your platform, you state that conditional sentences should be eliminated for all motor vehicle accidents that result in death. My questions to you: aren't conditional sentences a tool for the courts to use when they feel remorse? Also, should a person pay for life for one stupid mistake (albeit a terrible one)?

[Paul Warnett] Conditional sentences are used by the courts in a situation where someone is sentenced to less than 2 years and it is felt that serving time in the community rather than in jail is appropriate. Jail is rightly seen as harsher punishment. When death is caused by a motor vehicle the outrage felt by the victims and the wider community is too much to allow the offenders to serve their sentence in the community. If your significant other or parents or siblings were killed as a result of a criminal offence would you be upset if the offender did not see the inside of a jail? I would say the answer to that question would be yes from every single Canadian.

An offender should not pay for life for mistakes-they should pay for life for criminal conduct which are much different things.

2. How would you quantify how much is a minimum mandatory sentence for impaired driving causing death?

[Paul Warnett] 3 years is appropriate. It would be upheld by the Courts as constitutional and raise the sentences for the worst conduct by providing a floor for the "best" conduct.

3. Is throwing a first time offender in prison with career criminals really a good idea? Won't that encourage or cause the first time offenders to become criminally minded through association?

[Paul Warnett] It depends what the first time offender did. I believe we should have more rehab programs for young offenders and first time offenders to avoid them becoming hardended criminals.

4. What are your feelings on drug harm reduction (eg. safe injection sites, providing free drugs to addicts)?

[Paul Warnett] I don't have all the answers on hard drug policy but it seems to me that we should try to avoid users becoming infected with HIV and Hepatitis by providing safe injection sites so that when they are ready to stop using drugs they have a future.

5. They say that drug addicts can only be treated if they want to be treated. How do you propose we deal with addicts who do not want to be treated?

[Paul Warnett] We should try to convince them they should get treatment but otherwise hope they survive until they want to get treated.

6. The Marajuana Party of Canada wants to legalize the drug. What is your opinion on legalizing soft and hardcore dugs? Further, what is your opinion on decriminalizing drug usage?

[Paul Warnett] I believe it is time to legalize marijuana but no other drug. I would prefer not having to decrminalize marijuana but organized crime is being funded by the marijuana industry to such an extent as to cause turf wars and serious crimes occurring. We should regulate marijuana like alcohol except more stringently with age restrictions, no public consumption, drug impaired driving laws and government run marijuana stores that control the potency of the drug. The monies from the taxes collected would fund a lot of programs. Once this is done anybody with a grow op should face severe criminal penalties to crack down on importation to the U.S.A. There can be no excuse for a grow op once you can buy the drug from a store.

7. How do you feel about prostitution and how the present government deals with the issues within the sex industry?

[Paul Warnett] Prostitution will never go away. We can only do our best to remember that those on the streets are people who deserve protection from assaults and other crimes just as much as anybody else.

8. Where do you plan on getting the money to fund your ideas/changes?

[Paul Warnett] Fundraising has been my own personal monies, family, friends, neighbours and strangers. I raised enough to pay for my website, to distribute 40,000 brochures and for signs. I can always use some money and those wanting to donate can find out how at www.paulwarnett.ca.

9. How should we deal with the homeless?

[Paul Warnett] Those who do not want to be homeless should be provided affordable shelter. Those who want to be homeless or are unable to tell the difference between being homeless or with shelter we must deal with any drug addiction problems or mental health illness they have.

10. You state that there should be a presumption of impaired driving for those who flee the scene of an accident. Isn't presuming guilt contrary to our entire legal system in which one is supposedly innocent until proven guilty?

[Paul Warnett] There are many instances in the Criminal Code where there is a reverse onus. Drinking and driving is the only crime I know where if you avoid being caught for 3 hours there is no way you can be prosecuted since the alcohol levels diminish with time. The "smart" drunks know that leaving the scene of an accident is a way to avoid a drinking and driving charge that carries much harsher penalties than leaving the scene of an accident. It is not just an answer to say that the penalty for leaving the scene of an accident should be increased as those who are drunk and leave the scene should be punished more severely than those who leave the scene without being drunk.

11. What do you believe the root cause(s) of crime is/are?

[Paul Warnett] Poverty and lack of education are the root causes of crime although those circumstances are not excuses to commit crime. I distinguish myself from my Conservative opponents by wanting to make sure we do not develop a society that has everyone fending for themselves.

12. Wouldn't eliminating the general rule that credit for pre-trial custody be double time cause a slow down in bringing trials to completion so that cops/prosecutors can punish (in a round about way) those they believe are guilty, but have not been convicted yet?

[Paul Warnett] No. I believe that pre-trial custody should count as one for one time such that post trial custody would count the same as pre-trial custody time.

13. Independents rarely win a riding. Do you honestly believe you can win? What is your motivation for running?

[Paul Warnett] I can win. The momentum is building. I set myself apart because I do not consider myself to be a politician. The parties are trying to convince Canadians to care but the reality is that Canadians do care they just don't believe the parties are worth caring about.

I am a young lawyer whose healthy 57 year old mother was killed in an instant and I want to do what I can to avoid similar tragedies from happening in the future. The pain is too deep not to take a bold step to prevent this from happening in the future.

14. Can you give me an elevator pitch as to why people should vote for you?

[Paul Warnett] I am young, educated, well spoken, with fresh ideas and the ability to represent my constituency well because my training as a lawyer has taught me how to be an advocate. I am someone to vote for not against with a clear message on reforms to the criminal justice system and on other issues.

15. Conservatives are typically tough on crime. Couldn't someone voting for you be taken away from voting Conservative - a Party that could actually do something about these issues?

[Paul Warnett] Don't underestimate the power of an Independent particularly in a minority Parliament. I see myself as a bridge between the parties to bring about much needed criminal justice reforms.

16. What's your position on gun control and registry? If you are in favour of gun control, do you believe criminals will respect the law and not obtain guns through other means?

[Paul Warnett] I believe in an outright ban on hand guns if nothing else then to reinforce that handguns are objects to be shunned. Of course criminals are not usually using registered guns but the concept of a gun registry is not a bad one the problem is that it ended up costing 2 billion instead of 2 million dollars.

17. Have you ever participated in a protest? Do you feel they are effective ways to get messages across?

[Paul Warnett] I have never actively participated in a protest although I was at the APEC protest at UBC in 1997 milling about on the fringes absolutely freaked at the look of defiance on the police officers faces and also concerned about the protestors who were trying to break over the fence given the sharp shooters on the rooftops of the nearby buildings. Protests agains the war in Iraq were effective in the spring of 2003 by displaying Canadians' feelings of unhappiness about the prospect of going to war in Iraq.

18. Do you believe hate crimes should have tougher sentences or equal sentences to a person who commits an identical crime, but was not motivated by hate?

[Paul Warnett] Hate crimes should be punished more severely because hate crimes are directed at minority groups in our society who deserve greater protection.

19. Do you believe immigration is linked to crime in any way?

[Paul Warnett] Absolutely not.

20. How do you feel about Americans? Further, what do you think about Paul Martin using attacks against Americans to appear as a strong leader who does not bow down to US wishes?

[Paul Warnett] 50 percent of Americans wish their policies were more in line with Canadian policies and the other 50 percent of Americans I have trouble understanding. We should stand up to the Americans but we should not have our leaders appeal to uninformed anti-Americanism.

21. How would you respond to Tucker Carlson's characterization that Canadians live in igloos and ride dogsleds to work? referring to www.twbookmark.com

[Paul Warnett] I wouldn't respond. It is obvious he was looking to aggravate us so why get aggravated? Besides this was a comment made by a young guy wearing a bow tie.

22. Do you have any favourite blogs or websites that you read?

[Paul Warnett] Yours of course.

23. How can people contact you if they have questions or would like to aid in your campaign?

[Paul Warnett] More information on my campaign can be obtained at www.paulwarnett.ca.

Thank you very much for answering a few questions for my readers regarding your 2006 Canadian election campaign.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Only three days left to vote in the 2005 MOTYs.

Although the choice seems clear for some, I can only imagine how tough it could be to decide on the most moronic moron because they are all of top moronic quality.

Man, you are all going to be sick of the word "moron" after this is over.

I can't believe it, though, that no one has voted for Saddam Hussein or OJ Simpson yet. And, you can pretty much imagine by the comments who's in the lead. I'll leave you to guess if you can't figure it out, or you'll have to wait til Friday for the results.

Oh hey, and I forgot to mention that I am kicking myself now for not calling it the Putz Of The Week, because then I could have the POTYs, Putz Of The Year awards.

I'd love to have everyone voting for their favourite POTY. lol.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:00 AM | Permalink

See, f*ckards don’t just live in the States, they come from Canada too.

Woman suing city over loss of her cat

Raccoons maybe, but coyotes, uhhhh... no.

What was the universal symbol for cuckoo again?

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Posted by Samantha at 01:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Oh oh, she wasn't kidding. Cyber Chocolate leads us to the Quiz Hub, which, as she says, looks rather addictive.

There's some Sunday time killers for you all.

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Posted by Samantha at 09:39 AM | Permalink

I'm sure by now most have heard of that 2 headed albino rat snake named We, but did you know you could bid on it at Ebay?

Starting bid is $150,000 US. But, remember, you're paying to feed one animal, twice, lol.

I guess you can just be glad it has two front ends and not two rear ends.

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Posted by Samantha at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)