The Crazy Rants of Samantha BurnsKopi Luwak
Mmmm... there's nothing like a fresh cup of java in the morning, is there?
And, fresh is right when it comes to the highly priced coffee from Indonesia. That is, fresh as in freshly squeezed from the buttocks of the furry palm civets animal.
Apparently, the palm civets - a tree-climbing, nocturnal critter - eats ripe coffee cherries as treats, which supplies their poop with a wonderful aroma.
But, no matter how deliciously scented it is, it's still poop, people!
The sh*t is taken from the forest floor, cleaned, roasted, then sold as a specialty item. Many are willing to pay around $175 per pound for the coffee beans, and manufacturers of the coffee expect to sell about 200 pounds in 2006.
I'm sure we've all said at one point, "that's some sh*tty coffee", but this is ridiculous.
And, gee, if you're willing to buy that, I have my own exotic blend of "coffee beans" for you.
The kicker is that sales for the "coffee" rose around the Christmas season, which means there are a lot of people out there who got a shit load under their trees this year.
It's turdalicious!
For those who aren't aware, the eating of palm civets in China was thought to be linked to the 2003 SARS outbreak.
Another fact about civets is that their anal sacs can be scraped (said to be very painful to the animal - no kidding) and the scent can be used in some musk perfumes.
You're welcome for that daily news. Now, go enjoy your coffee!
Comments
If you hear anything about Diet Coke, anything at all, please don't tell me. I have to drink something.
Posted by: AbbaGav | January 3, 2006 01:57 AM
Oh god, Diet Coke... a conspiracy theorists wet dream, that stuff...
Posted by: Rob Irwin | January 3, 2006 04:26 AM
Think of the fun of going in to a coffee shop and ordering a crappucino.
Posted by: JRob![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.samanthaburns.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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January 3, 2006 04:42 AM
So how do the people who gather this stuff know that they're actually picking up civet turds, and not turds from some other animal? Speaking for myself, I'm very picky about the shit I eat and drink.
Posted by: Lugosi | January 3, 2006 05:53 AM
Musk from civet is illegal in a lot of the world, so hopefully there aren't many people chasing the little buggers around.
As for the coffee, I think I'll pass.
Posted by: Serra![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.samanthaburns.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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January 3, 2006 06:13 AM
I like my coffee, but not a chance in hell wouls I have that, totally sick and gross!!
Posted by: Tones | January 3, 2006 07:25 AM
You're a sadist, Samantha. This post reminds me of the time I told my younger brother that ham was from a pig's ass and he wouldn't eat the stuff for decades afterwards. I'm not about to give up my all-important morning coffee just yet, but this tidbit nearly made me a tea drinker.
Posted by: The Atavist | January 3, 2006 09:28 AM
Sounds like the time I was told my favorite blending pipe tobacco (syrian latakia) was once cured with the smoke from a camel dung fire (this while lighting up a bowl of "Old Ironsides" which is loaded with syrian latakia). As I glared back at the miscreant who made this announcement he quickly added they dodn't do that anymore (whew!)
That said, the "recycling" of lowek is what makes it what is, just another thing for people with more money than good sense to buy.
Posted by: JRob![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.samanthaburns.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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January 4, 2006 05:00 AM
As a vendor of certified Kopi Luwak coffee, you may want to go to my site to see what it looks like. The luwak leaves behind a "log" of beans with little or no fecal matter at all. Dr. Massimo Marcone of the University of Guelph is the foremost expert on this coffee and his tests have shown that the bacterial count is lower than your run of the mill grocery store coffee.
Posted by: Leo T. of Ottawa Canada | July 25, 2006 11:37 AM