The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

This post ruthlessly thrown together by Lostinlimaohio, and carelessly approved by Sam.

It was bad enough when those birds started plotting to ruin the Domino Day event by attempting a preemptive strike, knocking down over 20,000 domino's. Let's not forget that parrot that was caught giving a fluffy breast stroke, and then had the gall to let her take the fall for stealing him. Honestly, with Pamela Anderson as the "feathered friends" spokesperson, we should have known that humans are the only creatures attracted to breasts.

This is where we have to be willing to draw the line though, when these feathery villains begin waging war with innocent cheating people, it's time to show them who's boss. Here, this poor woman wasbetrayed by her boyfriends pet parrot malicious tattling. A whole relationship ruined because the bird didn't know when to shut up:

Chris Taylor, a 30-year-old British computer programmer, grew suspicious of his live-in girlfriend when his pet parrot began to imitate her saying, “I love you, Gary.�

Ziggy, an 8-year-old African gray parrot, would also make kissing noises whenever the name Gary was mentioned on TV and would mimic Suzy Collins saying, “Hiya, Gary,� every time she answered her mobile phone.

Confronted with the evidence, Collins admitted to a month-long affair with a coworker named Gary and moved out of their shared Leeds apartment that same night.

Another broken home, all because of a bird. There's just no excusing this heinous behavior. I know, you are sitting there just dying to know what you can do to combat this fowl war. Not to worry, I have found the perfect recipe for a sure win against the enemy. I happily present, and insist that you click over to it: The Best Defense Against Birds Ever. Don't be frightened, with this short video, and a lot of beer - we can once again take our rightful place above these birds on the food chain.

Article contributed by Lostinlimaohio