The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

This crappy post submitted by Lostinlimaohio, and for some unknown reason approved by Sam.

First, they named the chicken Boo Boo. They say it's because the chicken is easily frightened, but I'm not buying that. I mean, come on, who names a chicken to begin with? And then to give it some pitiful name like "Boo Boo"??

But on to the story, it seems Boo Boo was startled and flopped into a pond. Before you get to concerned for the chicken, you should know that Boo Boo's owner is a nurse, and therefore had had special nurse training on how to do a chicken do CPR to a chicken. I think they pay something like 32 cents extra to learn that in nurse school. (OMG I just realized I don't have a "cents" key on my keyboard, not that I have ever needed it before, but just then I did, but I didn't have one... stupid keyboard makers).

So Marian Morris, (who it turns out IS NOT THE CHICKENS OWNER, but the chicken's owner's sister who happens to be a nurse) grabs the chicken from the pond and begins blowing it... air through it's beak. (Perverts) Of course, the chicken, responds to the mouth to beak blowing procedure and suddenly pops an eye open. So Morris blows again, and the chick pops an eye again.

I know, this just sounds like a lot of blowing and popping, but IT WORKED. Morris blew CPR'ed that lil' chicken back to life.

The family will be throwing a big party in honor of Boo Boo, at a later date. Unfortunately, a long lost family member has heard of the wild chicken party being planned and has decided to attend.

Joey Chestnut, is ready to do a bit of celebrating himself. The 20 something male has just won the Wing Bowl by eating 173 wings.

Chicken wings.

Having finished all the wings at the contest, rumor has it he plans to even out his record by eating two more wings. And, really it's okay because besides not being able to swim... Boo Boo can't fly either, so he doesn't really need wings.

***Parts of this post are complete lies, conjured up for entertainment purposes.

This article submitted by Lostinlimaohio