The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

A man in Pennsylvania was caught microwaving his penis at a local convenience store.

Police were called to investigate a case where a man walked into the convenience store and asked the clerk to microwave something he had wrapped in a paper towel. When it was done heating, the clerk went to pick the package up out of the nuclear-wave oven (as I call it) and apparently, a penis fell out.

The man quickly grabbed his package up off the ground and ran out of the store, leaving some bloody gauze behind.

Okay, it wasn't really the guy's penis, it was a fake one.

It was later determined by police that the case was not just a hoax, but a scam.

It seems the man was acting on behalf of his female companion who needed a urine sample to pass her job's drug test. The man apparently filled the dildo with his own urine and had it microwaved to body temperature as part of the scam.

The police plan to charge the couple, but they aren't sure what the charges will be yet.

May I suggest they be charged with "faking it"? Or, perhaps with "dropping the ball(s)"?

What's really funny is lostinlimaohio's take on it. She states,

"I just have to wonder where she was going to hide "device" because, you know, it's not like they let you take a purse or anything into the stall with you, and I can't imagine it fitting into her pocket.... so just where would she stick it???"

I really don't.

Further, if they did get the item in to pass as the sample, wouldn't they question the testosterone in the sample? I'm no medic or anything, but I would think that male urine is quite different from female urine.

What I'd like to know about the case is what was with the bloody gauze?

Hat Tip: lostinlimaohio for this news tidit.