The Crazy Rants of Samantha BurnsMoron Revealed #18
This article posted by John Smith
Stray Dog Found remains the champion, 2nd week in a row since no guessed this week's moron correctly.
In case you weren't aware, the clue: "this person's one truth short of wearing a tinfoil hat", refers to Tom Cruise who is well known for his belief in Scientology, or the study of truth. Scientology is also believed to have a connection with extraterrestrial lifeforms, plus Tom Cruise has lately been thought to have a screw loose.
Hence, he is so connected to Scientology, a nutball cult (in my opinion), that we could very well see him don some weird objects, perhaps a tinfoil hat one day.
And, if you thought at all that Tom Cruise was sane, then let me refer you to this: Cruise with Oprah.
Cruise went just a little bit squirrelly during a trip to Oprah's couch. In case you missed it, here he is again: More Cruise with Oprah.
Although Cruise claims his floor pounding, couch jumping escapade was a mere expression of his infatuation with Katie Holmes, his behaviour was so bizarre to people that they are now referring to everyday bouts of insanity as "jumping the couch".
Cruise jumps the couch further as he admits that he believes in aliens. When asked, Cruise replied, "Yes, of course. Are you really so arrogant as to believe we are alone in this universe?"
This, coming from a person who claims that he never discusses anything unless he has done all the research and knows all the facts about the situation: "I don't talk about things that I don't understand".
So, Tom, know any good aliens around these parts?
And, of course, we all know about the rumours that Tom Cruise is gay and that Katie Holmes is faking a pregnancy to keep his homosexuality hidden (much can be found in the Pink is the new blog archives).
True or not, that's not the point. The point is that it's just plain fun to see him get riled up whenever he hears the accusations.
Bet he'd love this satirical article with official conclusions that Cruisazy Tom is 98% gay.
And, if you missed the South Park episode poking fun of Tom Cruise's sexuality and his "religion" Scientology, here's a clip.
This episode raised a lot of heads over whether Cruise would sue or not.
We further love to mock the moron as he insists upon buying a Cruisagram (sonogram) to monitor the fetal development of his spawn.
It is thought, although satirically, that his persistence in getting a sonogram was due to Scientology and its founder, L. Ron Hubbard (a science fiction writer who claimed to have a vacation home on Venus). In the cult, it is professed that one cannot achieve a higher state on the mothership unless they are monitored and clean, and fabulously wealthy so that they can buy their way onto the mothership and eternal bliss.
Ya, tinfoil hat, indeed.
Crazy Cruise is also known to be adamantly opposed to psychotropic drugs, and really, all drugs that are not accepted in the Scientology "religion".
He has been scorned for demeaning Brooke Shields' choice to use post-natal depression drugs as a way to return to being a happy, loving mother.
Cruise further insulted Shields by saying that her career was over.
Ya, ok, dipsnot, what in the h*ll do you know about babies, mothers, and the after-effects of giving birth?
Dumbf*ck, you have no legitimate say! Every body's different, and you're a man, so shut your flap.
While on tv with Matt Lauer, Crazy Cruise stated more insanity such as, "There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance", "psychiatry is a pseudo science", and he insisted that Lauer was clueless when it came to psychiatry, calling him "glib" and stating: "No, you see. Here's the problem. You don't know the history of psychiatry. I do."
Wow, Cruise. Impressive. You must know everything about something you don't even believe in, eh. You must feel proud.
And then there's the TomKat relationship.
Somehow, Katie's sex scene in a Sundance Film Festival film just got up and disappeared.
Hmmm... I wonder. This couldn't be a result of another bout of insanity, could it?
All of his bizarre behaviour explains why one would, although unkindly, squirt Cruise with water from a fake microphone at a red carpet event.
It also explains why he's nominated for a Razzie for Worst Actor and Most Tiresome Tabloid Target.
I don't know. What more can I say? This guy is sucktacular. I've always considered his acting shotty, cheesy, and plain ol' bad. I mean, he is the one and only reason why I DIDN'T go see War of the Worlds.
No thanks to bad acting.
More On The Moron:
Tom Cruise replaced for M:I-3
Cruise Kills Oprah
Source of Cruise info and humour
Tomkat baby joke
Tomkat sing Candy Shop
Petition to revoke Cruise's citizenship
Cruisazy Tees
Free Katie
Tom Cruise's carbonara. The special ingredient is a dash of lunacy.
scientology-kills.org
Couch hopping insanity on The View
Cruise in the news
Intense Tom on Oprah photoblogging
Tom Cruise uncyclopedia
Cruise's personal website (parody)
Once again, congratulations Stray Dog Found
Comments
Don't say anything bad about Scientology!
ssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Posted by: Dave D | February 3, 2006 05:27 AM
Tom should just go ahead and change his name to Daffy Duck because he is Daffy Duck crazy.
Posted by: DragonLady | February 3, 2006 07:16 AM
Tom Cruise is the universe's joke on humanity. Rich, a well known actor, and completely bonkers!
Posted by: Ole Blue | February 3, 2006 07:56 AM
Sam, you've got to go to wikipedia and look up scientology.
Check out the part about Xenu. This would make George Lucas jealous, because it'd make one heck of a sci-fi movie.
I couldn't keep a straight face after realizing that people actually believe this.
checkitout.
Posted by: moonbat monitor | February 3, 2006 08:10 AM
Sam, you're gonne love this little clip I've got then.
Posted by: MacBros | February 3, 2006 03:34 PM
The rumor is that Cruise joined Scientology to be cured of his homosexuality. This is allegedly the same reason John Travolta signed up. Ditto for Roseanne Barr.
Posted by: William C. Fisher | February 6, 2006 11:05 AM