The Crazy Rants of Samantha BurnsPERV Meeting
It's time again for another PERV meeting.
Well, in our fight against vegetable abuse, neglect, suffering, and digestion, we have come up with a new strategy to win the hearts of children.
We all know how children are our future and how we must train them young to submit to our ways, I mean, to take part in vegetable freedom. Therefore, we must try persuade kids into our correct, altruistic way of thinking.
Hence, I'm calling on all you PERVs out there to spread the word about this strategy, which has to do with grocery store credit cards, grocery customer appreciation cards, and the like.
Much like PETA did to Mastercard (and succeeded), our goal is to persuade every child in existence to cut up mom & dad's grocery store cards.
Until grocery stores stop supplying vegetables, ask Mom and Dad to cup their grocery store cards and shop at meat markets instead. PERV wants to hear from you, in your own words, what you'll say to your parents to convince them that grocery store cards are "Shmocery store cards". Unlike PETA, we don't offer the winner a prize, but it would be darn fun to read what people have to say.But, I must say, when it comes to that gimmick, PETA must have been supporting child abuse, because those kids are going to be dead meat when their parents find out their kid cut up the Mastercard.
In further news, I would like to call your attention to member billT, who shares some veggie lovin' in the form of some music from The Vejtables.
Peace, Love, and Don't Eat the Beans!
VIVA LA PERV!
Meeting adjourned.
Further Related:
Image care of Diane's Stuff.
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Comments
PETA schmeta.
I'm on board the PERV boat!!
Posted by: jimmyb | March 16, 2006 03:18 AM
A PETA scheme producing dead meat? Oh, the irony!
Posted by: Radioactive Jam![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.samanthaburns.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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March 16, 2006 05:07 AM
How about we take this video:
http://www.storewars.org/flash/
And twist it for our own evil purposes and use it to show kids that veggies really are alive and they don't want to eat Young Cuke Skywalker, as well as showing them how scary bananas can be.
:-)
Posted by: Lisa Renee | March 16, 2006 06:51 AM
P.E.R.V.'s time has come! I linked back to this article on today's Donovan's Blog.
As I say on the blog, free the cauliflower first!!
Posted by: Bill Donovan | March 16, 2006 07:16 AM
Sign me up - I wanna be a charter P.E.R.V. member. :D
Posted by: Les Mackenzie | March 16, 2006 07:24 AM
Children are an obvious power base in this important campaign and our natural allies. We must continue to encourage them in their insurgency as they stage hunger strikes, "pout-ins", and other peaceful resistance techniques. (Please, kids, don't throw the veggies across the room or secretly feed them to the dog because that still hurts them).
Too often adults dismiss the protest actions of the young as shallow and more about pop culture than principal. They don't stop to realize what these children are putting on the line in order to stand up for their beliefs: dessert, staying up until their normal bedtime, having to watch Brussel sprouts congeal before their very eyes. And is there anything more inspiring than hearing their sweet, innocent voices rising in unison to sing, "All we are saying, is give peas a chance"? Children are the best hope for the future, and especially the future of vegetables!
Btw, lest you suspect I'm merely trying to infiltrate PERV, here's a link to my bona fides; my post from yesterday commemorating "International Eat a Tasty Animal for PETA Day": http://thenightwriterblog.powerblogs.com/posts/1142446908.shtml
Posted by: Night Writer | March 16, 2006 09:50 AM
er...sorry I'm late. ...had to finish that huge salad first.
Posted by: Butch | March 16, 2006 09:51 AM
OMG! I missed my PERV meeting! Darn! Well I am still here and still support PERV! BTW eating tasty animals is a good thing. Then I thought about vegetarians. Vetetarian meaning they do not eat meat, but they condone eating veggies....like their name suggests. Hmmm...time for a rant on that!
Posted by: doll | March 16, 2006 04:43 PM
Night Writer - LOL
Posted by: MrBig | March 16, 2006 08:57 PM