The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Howdy to all you Samantha Burns readers!

I'm jimmyb, The Conservative UAW Guy.

I've been blogging for about a year now, and hopefully, I'll be occasionally blogging here at Samantha's, if I can meet her high bloggeristic standards.

FYI, I now blog in 3 countries; my home country (USA - Yay!) plus 2 foreign ones.

1. The good ol' USA - The Conservative UAW Guy, Steve the Pirate, and Blogs 4 Bauer, with an appearance on Conservathink (for a week) and an essay at The Balance of Power;

2. Canada - The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns (now with more jimmyb!); and

3. New York - Moonbatty!

The next foreign country I hope to post out of is the Peoples Republic of Kalifornia!!
Hint, hint Difster and Point Five!!

However, today I would like to give much thanks to talented and lovely Samantha Burns for getting me into the Canadian category!! Woo-hoo!!

Although I do occasionally help the avowed comedic atheist/socialist Canadian FWD with her site occasionally, technically I don't post there.
I'm still praying for you freudz!!! :)
Heh. That'll piss her off... ;)

So, in honor of Samantha's exquisite taste and unparalleled class exhibited by selecting moi as a contributor, I would like to present the

Top 10 11 Reasons to Read Samantha Burn's website, The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns!!!!!

11. She digs Bob and Doug McKenzie! Way cool.

10. Sam is a 9.2 out of a perfect 10, instead of a 10, because she lives in Canada.

9. Sam once saved a hippy/PETArd from a burning building, and then strangled him to death! (That's soooooo cool!)

8. Sam contains no carcinogens, and is all natural, except for maybe her hair color, but it is hard to tell just by email.
Of course, asbestos, uranium and mercury are all natural too.
Hmmmmmm.

7. Sam would have a humongous gun collection, if she didn't live in oppressive, anti-gun Canada.
Para-Ordinances are made in Canada, and I'm hoping Sam sends me a complimentary one!!
I look really good in black, as it is slimming, so please keep that in mind, Samantha!
(A couple of extra magazines with it would be sweet.)

6. Sam would make an excellent replacement for Kim on 24, being that they are both from Canukistan. Of course, Sam isn’t a total idiot (or an idiot at all, for that matter), so maybe that wouldn’t work….

5. Sam is one of the few Canadians that is not a Satan worshipper or atheistic socialist.

4. Sam has not cast an evil, Satanic spell on me for either telling people that Canadians are Satan worshippers, nor for calling her country Canukistan.
That means she's super-cool, and probably only worships Satan on a part-time basis to garner the massive amount hits she gets on her website.

3. On a projectile scale of 1 to 10, where one (1) is a squishy grape thrown by a drunk, gay Mardi Gras patron of questionable gender, and ten (10) is a 50 BMG anti-aircraft/sniper round, Sam is a total freakin' 10!!!

2. Another reason to read Samantha Burns; because I said so!
I haven't steered you wrong yet!!!
AND!!!! She picked me to post on her site! Woo-hoo!

and the number one reason to read Sam...

1. Because every time you read Samantha's site, a terrorist is smitten!!! Hooray!

So make sure you READ THE CRAZY RANTS OF SAMANTHA BURNS EVERY DAY!!!
It's the right thing to do.

I'm jimmyb, The Conservative UAW Guy, and I approved this message...