The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns: Sex, Drugs, And Cold Air?

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Lostinlimaohio sent me these news bits with her two cents, and I thought they were rather worthy of publishing with a few added comments of my own, so here goes.

LILO tells me she was reading the news the other day when she found this story on the decline of smoking - and being aware that I participated in that whole new year's resolution "stop smoking" thing a while back in support of Diane's Stuff, I'm Just A Girl, and a few other participant - she thought she'd let me know that it worked.

People stopped smoking.

LILO writes,

"the down side to this is that apparently people decided that if they couldn't smoke afterwards- there really was no reason to continue having as much sex anymore."

In 2000, people in the US "got it on" 132 times a year on average then, in 2001, it dropped to 124. Which LILO claims still isn't bad as they still beat Canada - we "held a steady 99 times a year during both years".

She adds,

**Personally- I beat both the Canadian and American Average, combined. You didn't need to know that, but I felt like bragging.

She also added that if we were to keep up the no smoking support idea, then people would have no reason to have sex anymore, "and without sex, we'll run out of babies- which will suck because the US's social security thing is already in trouble.

LILO pleads,

"So please save my retirement plans and support smokers, or I'll have to sneak into Canada to enjoy my golden years."

Well, I don't know if you're going to be enjoying too much of your golden years up here, what with the lack of sex in Canada and all.

All I have to ask is how many people are actually counting how many times they "scored" in a year?

Am I missing something? I mean, I don't count my experiences. Perhaps I've been going about it entirely wrong. That's it, I've got to start the year over and begin counting. 0... 0....

As for the low rating in Canada - at least we're consistent.

What do you people expect from us Canucks, anyhow? It's frickin' freezing up here. We'd shatter into little icicle pieces if we tried any of that funky stuff (as enjoyable as it is). Plus, we're still busy planning out our course for US, then world domination.

Anyhow, I say we get that sex rating back up there, worldwide, and make up a new tradition of what to do after sex. Women get to eat chocolate immediately after and men get to fall asleep right after without being nagged at. Win-win.

Sound good?

May 2008

Comments

LMAO Sam! I must admit, my urge to start smoking again is strongest right after sex. But I never considered quitting sex over it!

Posted by: mel | March 10, 2006 10:08 AM

"All I have to ask is how many people are actually counting how many times they "scored" in a year?"

I don't think that it's anyone notchin it in the bed posts- it's just simple math.

It's really not our fault that ya'll are only going at it every 3 and a half days.

By the way- if I move to Canada- at least the average will go up for you guys, and don't any of you know that excessive movement increases the body temp?

(if I could write it in super subscript I'd say this:
"perhaps Canadians are more of the lay there like a rock on a bed- type of lovers, which would explain the lack of body heat being generated")

***No offense to Canadians intended. It's not like you can help it that you only get it on every 3 and a half days.

Posted by: L. | March 10, 2006 10:41 AM

I had a feeling you Canadians were taking over the world slowly but surely...but I had no proof...now the truth is out there!

Crazy Canucks...but I'm Norwegian, so it's not much better I guess...:)

Posted by: techinblack | March 10, 2006 08:11 PM

After shovelling all that snow, it's hard to be physical.

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Posted by: JP Richards | January 2, 2007 11:42 PM