The Crazy Rants of Samantha BurnsTop 10 Reasons Conservatives should become Liberals
1) You'll be able to encourage one of those peace-at-any-cost hippies to finally take a bath for the sake of humanity and all that is good and right.
2) You'll be able to disengage brain and logic for once and dream up of any conspiracy theory your mind can imagine. For example, Cheney is really some cyborg Dick sent by the future Halliburton World Government to enslave the masses by refining oil into a mind control drug.
3) You get to never work again and live off "the man" while spending your days protesting pointless things like "Save the Humpback Grey Mosquito"?.
4) You'll finally be able to visit the Daily KOS, which you've been curious to see lunacy but out of principle never visited.
5) You'll finally be able to watch movies staring actors and actresses you despise for opening their big yap in politics.
6) You'll finally be able to visit France without the scolding of your conservative peers.
7) You'll finally be in the majority, or as I would say 'Majnority', where you can say all your views are that of the majority including the mainstream press even if the majority of the population disagrees with you.
8) You don't have to waste time bathing.
9) For women, you can stop shaving under your armpits like the French.
10) You'll stop getting speeding tickets as the car you will have to drive will not have enough pep to speed in the first place.
Comments
0) You'll finally gain a sense of humour and be able to crack real jokes, instead of having to rely on weakass ripoffs of Letterman's top tens.
Posted by: Martin Wisse | March 16, 2006 12:40 PM
I can quit shaving? Woo Hoo! I couldn't handle the car part though. LOL
Posted by: Diane![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.samanthaburns.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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March 16, 2006 12:49 PM
See I knew there was something odd about Cheney but you would think his targeting system would have insured him a kill in Texas.
Posted by: billT | March 16, 2006 02:16 PM
Just wandered on in. Your blog is very funny.
Also wanted to add that if I were liberal, there's no way I would read DailyKos. I am so happy my Lefty friends don't read that garbage: it would probably destroy any common ground we have, for being beaten over the head with conspiracy theory probably constitutes a form of brainwashing, and DailyKos is full of people brainwashing each other.
Posted by: ashok | March 16, 2006 08:15 PM