The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

This post submitted by Lostinlimaohio, and published by the whip wielding Sam.

A frightful thing happened to me last week, I was doomed to suffer extreme conditions brought on by the worst head cold in the history of mankind. Sam doesn't have the best of health coverage for her slave labor guest bloggers, so I was made to suffer for an extended period.

The saddest part of being sick was that I wasn't able to entertain you all. Well, that and I
had made Sam this really great birthday cake for her birthday on April 7th. But, since I couldn't make it into work, she didn't get it. I was going to give it to her this week... but seeing as how I was too ill to cook much last week, I ate most of the cake myself. It was good. But, because I didn't want to come back empty handed... here's what's left of it.

I'm sorry that I don't have a better excuse for letting everyone down by my failure to show up last week, it's just that not everyone can fake the death of their child on short notice. I mean, come on even Mary Jo Elizabeth Jensen of Iowa had a couple of months to lie to her boss about how her 17 year old son was sick, and then how he was even sicker and then you know... how he died.

It seems that loser mom and her loser boyfriend wanted some time off work, so they decided to tell their employees that loser mom's son was sick, and in a coma. They may have gotten away with it, until they upped the stakes by claiming that the son died. The employer requested proof, and said losers faked the kids obituary, and had it placed in the local newspaper. Later in the week, the boy was spotted by people who knew him and had seen the newspaper obituary... it was a not so funny case of "dead man walking".

So, although I don't have that thrilling of an excuse, I'm sorry I wasn't here. Just remember- I didn't want time off from work... nope I was really sick. And I've shipped the bags full of used kleenex to Sam just to prove it.

Happy Belated Birthday Boss.

Article contributed by Lostinlimaohio