The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Article written by MR.BIG.

I have to wonder about this new technology being brought out called Smellovision. I remember reading years ago about TVs that were supposed to incorporate this technology but it never left the drawing board and probably for good reason.

For some reason I don't think this new cinematic ploy is a good idea. Now, not only do we have to sit through real stinker Hollywood films, but we'll have to smell them too.

Yeesh.

Worse, they are putting the scent emitters under the back row seats. What kind of evil is that? The back row should be reserved for those whom want to make out and those whom want to watch others making out. Now the entire experience will be ruined when they pump out smells like “Pepe le Pew� at maximum.

It's bad enough that women want to drag men into chick-flicks, but now men will have to endure love scenes with scents of crap-weeds and stench blossoms, err, I mean roses and daisies.

Mind you, comedy films, such as Blazing Saddles, will certainly have a new depth to them when the inevitable bean scene is played. I’m not sure the depth is something the audience would truly want to experience. Undoubtedly, you’ll end up watching a few films in this genre only to discover that the film wasn’t made with Smellovision, but rather some oddly smiling ten year old boy who ate too much cheese and decided to add the appropriate aromas.

Uh, no thanks. Keep your smells to yourself!