The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

1) Is that a suicide belt in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

2) Those 72 virgins I'm about to receive next week have nothing on you babe.

3) If I weren't planning on blowing myself up next week, I'd ask you to marry.

4) If you don’t leave with me tonight, I’ll go to pieces.

5) Won’t you grant a dying man's last wish for a night with you?

6) I’m planning to blast away next week, but how about you and I blast away this week, too?

7) You'll do... until I get my 72 virgins.

8) I’d blow myself up for you if I didn't already have commitments.

9) What's common between my goat, a suicide bombing, and you? I did my goat last week. I’m going to do a suicide bombing next week. And, I’d like to do you this week.

10) Since I'm dumb enough to blow myself up, perhaps you're dumb enough to sleep with me?

Bonus: You're the bomb, baby. Come here and explode me.

Just a reminder: Today is International Mock-a-Jihadist day! Have you mocked, ridiculed or made fun of a Jihadist today?