The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns: Moron Revealed #32

Moron of the Week - 32 - George Michael (the line across the George Michael image is a car window)

That's two weeks in a row for Dragonlady's World since no one guessed correctly that this week's moron is George Michael.

Some may have always called him a moron, but these days he's really proving to be a fool as he gets himself caught in scandal after scandal.

Of course, many know George Michael as the Wham! singer, or on his own in "I Want Your Sex" and "Faith" songs, but ever since his public loo defamation, he's been a virtual recluse.

If you'll think back, his first big scandal was when he was caught in Will Roger's Park performing 'lewd acts' while police were performing a standard undercover operation to clean the park of 'lewd' behaviour.

I'm totally not going there with the jokes on those "back door" shenanigans.

I mean, he really "slipped up" in there, didn't he?

Yup, he really "went down" on the wrong path that day.

Despite the fact that police were merely doing their job and that George was clearly in the wrong, he had a little freak out over the situation claiming he was targeted due to his celeb status.

Whatever moron.

How 'bout you keep it in your f*cking pants until you're in a more appropriate location?

Duh.

The outcome of his court trial was he was to pay $810 and serve 80 hours of community service.

That's hardly even a slap on the wrist for a millionaire. No wonder he still behaves as the twit to this day.

But, what I'd really like to know (well, not really) is why there is so much gay b*tchiness between singers. First, it was a pit between the Georges as Boy George gets catty and sarcastically jokes about George Michael's singing.

Me-ow!

Then, there's a feud between the flamboyent Elton John and Michael, and even presumed homosexual Morrissey touted that he wasn't impressed with Michael.

Geez, they sound like a bunch of 20-something female pop stars.

How lame. Like, whatever. Skanks.

Oh, and there's also Michael insulting soccer player David Beckham for changing his physical appearance too often and he called Beckham insecure for it.

Boy, is that the pot calling the kettle black or what? With all of Michael's shameful behaviours, I'd say he certainly lacks confidence as a person comparatively.

I think some would call him a himbo for sure (himbo: attractive male, but unintelligent and superficial). Although, the attraction's just not there from my perspective.

And, it gets more nutty. It has been observed that when he found his fame overwhelming, he chose to wear sunglasses constantly, including to bed:

"The easiest way to pinpoint (when it became overwhelming) is FRANK SINATRA's open letter to the LOS ANGELES TIMES in the early '90s because I had decided that the level fame that I achieved at 24/25 with Faith, was kinda too much for me."

Hmmm... I think... nobody cares.

Actually, considering how much he's been in the public eye, and how he schedules massive interviews with the press, my guess is that he's not shy about fame, rather he's a fame fanatic.

But, oh, don't you worry. The loony gets loonier. After his gay wedding to Kenny Gross, the couple decided that they were comfortable enough to cheat on each other repeatedly and openly.

"The AMAZING hitmaker, 40, has been dating the Texan businessman since 1996 and says both of them are happy to discuss their extra-curricular sexual exploits without fear of reprisal.

And George - who was arrested for engaging in a lewd act in a public toilet in Los Angeles in 1998 - loves being able to enjoy raunchy exploits with virtual strangers as it requires less effort than a full-on romance."

All together now... Eeeeeewww!

Try being faithful instead of a creepy pervert.

No wonder you seem to have no self-respect and get high and crash cars in your wasted stupor - without holding onto any values in life, you can't expect to live a happy and fulfilled life.

And, speaking of being stoned all the time, it is reported that George Michael

"admits to smoking five or six marijuana joints a day in a bid to keep his head high."

Um, excessive much?

I guess this explains why he's been caught asleep at the wheel TWICE now, as well as he's crashed into things TWICE now as well.

In February, Georgey boy was cautioned by the police for possessing cannabis after he was found asleep at the wheel (gee, surprise, surprise that they didn't charge the celeb).

Then, in April, George was witnessed to have smashed into three parked cars:

"I spotted George Michael just sitting there, staring at us. He didn't look too good for that time on a Sunday morning. After a while he tried to move off, but shunted into the back of a Peugeot. It scraped its wheels along the curb and then smashed into the front of a green Rover. There was another almighty crash, then he just drove off again. It was really bizarre."

Although it's not determined, it sounds to me a lot like he went on an unintentional halfbaked car crashin' orgy.

Now there's a star for the kids to look up to.

Moron.

But, if you happen to be a George Michael fan, and managed to choke through this article on the moron, then you'll be happy to note that he plans on going on a tour this year called 25Live as a way to celebrate his 25 years in the industry.

But, I question how he can call it 25 years when he's been a recluse for about 10 of those.

Whatever.

I guess our only solace is that he doesn't see a Wham! reunion in the future. He adds,

"I'm afraid I can't get into those small tennis shorts anymore."

Thank goodness for that.

Now, will Dragonlady's World be able to maintain the throne for a third week?

Linked to outside the beltway, imaginekitty, cao's blog