The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Canada tests armament in England before the inevitable attack on the USA.

That should have been the title to this article.

First, we attacked with maple syrup and Celine Dion, then we deployed out Goose Special Forces, and now Canada is taking the US invasion to the next level: french fry grenades.

But, before we can move to that level, we've had to test the strategy out on our motherland, England.

Workers at a french fries factory in northern England had to be evacuated on two consecutive days last week when armaments suspected to date back to World Wars I and II were discovered in batches of imported European potatoes.

Canadian-based McCain Foods -- the world's largest producer of frozen french fries -- said employees at its plant in Scarborough discovered a suspected hand grenade on Saturday, a day after a shell tip was found among a batch of potatoes.

You see, if we can smuggle in our highly useful weaponry to a country, then send our troops next, they can assemble the pieces and begin the attack before anyone would be the wiser.

Unfortunately, the kinks still need to be worked out considering the secret mission was exposed. Back to square one.

Our goal remains - to slowly take over north america, AND THEN THE WORLD!

(And yes, we have to use WW1 and WW2 ammo; it's all we've got other than our navy tugboat)