The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

While the World Cup comes to Germany this year, concern grows over the country's acceptance of prostitution.

For this reason alone, I believe it's only appropriate that I list some competative sex trade venues that could open up this year.

In the dance competition:
1. The tube steak boogie

In the cooking competition:
2. Hide the salami
3. smashing the pastry

In the music competition:
4. playing the upright organ
5. playing the skin flute

In the swimming competition:
6. muff diving
7. and everyone's favourite, lap snorkling

And, for some random venues:
8. the sheet beating competition
9. wood working
10. beaver feeding

Bonus: skiing down the old pink run.

But, perhaps these challenges would be better saved for an Australian World Cup since they have just made lingerie, dance lessons, and sex toys tax-deductible for prostitutes.

Geesh, if they brought this rule to Canada, I'd suddenly "become" a prostitute just to get some write-offs, lol.