The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Alternative title: Increase Your Package.

And no, this isn't an article about those stupid email spams, but I'm sure I'll get to that post one day. This article's about that new replaceable penis scientists have created for rabbits, but I've got a few social remarks on it that I'm going to get to.

Yes, all Bobbitts and potential Bobbitts of the world sigh a breath of relief today as scientists have come one step closer to a world of fake Johnsons.

Scientists have created a false, but workable penis that seems to be fully functioning for rabbits. They've even managed to get male bunnies fitted with the false Ba-donk-a-donks to impregnate some female rabbits.

Boy, would PETA freak about this experiment. Lopping off a bunny's natural package just to fit it with a false organ.

But, you know, those PETA people shouldn't get too upset about it because I'm sure the next step for the scientists is to make a set of balls.

And we all know PETA could use some of those.

Thinking about it, though, I can see how ridiculous this could get in our society.

Men around the world will be begging to get their knobs knocked off just so they can select a newer, larger fake love pump.

Ya, sure, you all cringe now, but I can see the day when this becomes a cosmetic surgery "must have" for men. You'll all be vying for the largest. It will become this whole competition thing. It will become so insane that men will start having trouble walking, and some will even have to be carted around because they just can't move with their gargantuan shlongs.

Okay, I might have just gotten out of hand on this one, but I'm sure not by much.