The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns: Moron Revealed #34

Moron of the Week - 34 - Cameron Diaz Congratulation to Dragonlady's World for maintaining the title for 4 weeks straight.

That's right, nobody guessed correctly that Cameron Diaz is a moron, so Dragonlady's World holds onto the title for yet another week.

Yes, Cameron Diaz is moronic for more than just her There's Something About Mary hair - and really isn't that the only way that we know she's a celebrity.

I mean, she's barely recognisable for any other role, mainly her cummed up hair.

Although most people assume her career began with The Mask, I believe her acting work actually started with an S&M video Diaz made when she was 19.

Yes, for those unaware, Diaz tortured the sh*t out of a guy alongside another girl, and this softcore porn made it to the Internet in 2004.

Miss. Whips, Chains, and Squeegees didn't stop there, however.

Last year, some topless photos she had taken with a photographer came back to haunt her as the photographer, John Rutter, attempted to blackmail her with the images.

She won the case, but duh, who's the moron who made these topless decisions in the first place?

Don't expose yourself if you're not willing to be exposed.

Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Dumb Diaz.

Alas, the future doesn't look too bright for those who find Cameron's "handsome" looks attractive as she claims she won't be doing any more bed scenes:

"Tom was so considerate [in Vanilla Sky], and we laughed about doing it. But I don't want to go to work and get into bed with someone else, not even Tom Cruise. It's not like I enjoy it."

Well, I must give the moron credit there.

I wouldn't be caught dead in bed with Tom Cruise either.

Oh ya, and speaking of Diaz exposure, and lack thereof, she doesn't seem to be all that interested in baring her autograph to fans.

Yes, Diaz is disappointing and disrespecting the very people who paid for her fame and fortune by the boatloads:

Cameron Diaz may be a talented actress, but she’s persistently a terrible signer. Instead of just turning down a person’s autograph request, she’ll lecture them about how dumb autographs are.

Say, why'd you get into acting in the first place? To diss your fans?

Another "duh" for the dumba$$ Diaz.

No wonder your classmates called you Skeletor in school. You're a nasty be-atch.

Unless it had something to do with your big a$$ mouth.

Now, when it comes to having big mouth, she sure likes to spew a lot of gibberish.

Typical moonbat stuff. Nothing new really.

I don't know why celebs always feel the need to try to brainwash their victims with their Hollyweird nonsense.

In the 2000 elections, Diaz blabbered on about her opposition to Bush and even wore a shirt stating,

"I WON'T VOTE FOR A SON OF A BUSH!"

And, she opened her uninformed mouth again in the 2004 elections on Oprah when she said,

"Women have so much to lose. I mean, we could lose the right to our bodies. We could lo--if you think that rape should be legal, then don't vote..."

Uh ya, sure, ummm... is there any way the present administration can make you lose your voice, too?

Moron.

Malkin even had some witty commentary on thie Oprah episode:

Such hyperventilating feminist paranoia might have been a tad more credible coming from someone other than the ex-girlfriend of the smarmy dope who ripped off Janet Jackson's breast covering while singing (or whatever) "Gonna have you naked by the end of this song.

Oh ya, that reminds me, what's Justin's age in relation to Camerons? I think she's 9 years older.

I guess that means she's finally dating someone with her own mental capacity.

Next thing you know, she'll be going after Britney's K-Fed.

*shudder*

I mean, *shudders, dawg*.

Okay, back to the blithering idiot. She also thinks moonbatty in her stance on environmentalism.

Not only does she drive one of those lame arse, oh so trendy Toyota Prius'seses, but she took part in an MTV series focusing on environmental issues and praising poverty.

Diaz, who earns a reported $20-million a movie, boasted that the cow-dung slathered walls of a Nepalese village hut were "beautiful" and "inspiring," and she called the primitive practice of "pounding mud" with sticks to construct a building foundation "the coolest thing."

Diaz also criticized the lifestyles of many Americans after visiting an indigenous village in Chile. "It's kinda gotten out of hand how much convenience we think we need,"

Ya, she's enviro - mental alright.

Especially considering her favourite visited country had "the highest infant mortality rates (103 infant deaths per 1,000 live births) and lowest life expectancies (54 years) in the world." What a treat it must be to take a day or two out of your consumer-fueled life to ridicule it, regardless of the facts.

By comparison, the United States, which Diaz described as having too much "convenience," has an infant mortality rate of only 6.6 per 1000 and an average life expectancy of more than 77 years.

Lol, moron.

I wonder why she doesn't move there if she likes it so much.

And, Diaz shows her idiot side further as she discusses her PETA beliefs:

Eating a pig is like eating your dog! As actor Cameron Diaz put it after hearing that pigs have the mental capacities of a 3-year-old human: “[Eating bacon is] like eating my niece!

Okay, we could look at this a number of ways.

Is she referring to her niece as being a pig, being a dog, or as the author suggests, Cameron's actually comparing eating pork to eating a child.

No matter which way you look at it, Diaz is a dope!

So, congrats again to... for seeing Diaz for the person she is... a moron.

More on the moron:
Cameron and Justin punchout
She claims to beagainst plastic surgery, but perhaps she's yet another hypocrite?
enviro-freak Diaz
Diaz gets serious, well, almost.
The real Cameron
D*mn Sharpe carrying fans
Cameron Diaz Name UGLY Celebrity of 2005
take the Diaz quiz if you're bored
learn Diaz's sign, again if you're bored.
Diaz's biorhythm, whatever that is.
another dumb Diaz quiz
tree huggin' hippy
more info on her softcore porn
Diaz wins topless contest, kidding, wins topless lawsuit.
Hey look, it's nips. Hello Nips
I hate Cameron
Gwenyth and Cameron's site's called act green. How appropriate, considering with all the fuels they burn in their limos and SUVs, it's only right they admit to only "acting" green.
More Diaz
and yet, some more
Again with the tree huggin' hippy sh*t

Comments

I remember reading an article about Diaz at bar. She was sitting at the bar and asked the bartender to dial her number for her cell as since she did not know where it was and needed to hear it, the cell was right in front of her.

Posted by: Ole Blue | June 2, 2006 08:35 AM

Ugh, now I don't want a Prius. Oh, wait, I didn't want one to begin with. :-)

Posted by: DragonLady | June 2, 2006 09:57 AM

WOW! This is the first Name the Moron contest of yours that I've tried. Do you always do such an incredibly thorough expose (justly deserved) of your chosen morons?

If there ever was any doubt about whether Diaz was a moron, it's settled law now.

Brava!

D. Ox

Posted by: Dumb Ox | June 2, 2006 06:36 PM