The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Considering the ever-growing dichotomy between the US Democrats (lefties) and the Republicans (righties), I collaborated with MR.BIG (translation: he did most of the work while I slacked off, as usual) to come up with some pranks that may occur in the near future between the two parties.

I mean, the tension is getting to the point where there will be an inevitable apex after which both parties will just snap and get all giddy-like.

Well, that's one way tensions can break, anyhow.

So, here are some "funny pranks lefties could do on righties" and vice-versa "funny pranks righties could do on lefties".

1. Lefties may find it funny to make bumper stickers that read "I *heart* WAR for OIL" and put the stickers on righties' SUVs. --------- And, for righties "I *heart* WAR for OIL" could be put on the lefties' eco-weeny cars.

2. Another prank for lefties on righties: replace their newspaper cover with the headline "Recount Actually Shows Kerry Won Ohio!" with sub-headline "Bush conceeds and hands Kerry keys to White House".

3. In retaliation, righties may choose to send a fake article to lefties with the headline, "SHOCKER: Study Shows Meat Traces in Most Vegetarian Products!"

4. For a righty on a lefty, tell them Michael Moore will be presenting in town, but give them the address and time for the next local NRA meeting. Bonus points goes to those who get them to show up at an NRA "Bring a carcass and discuss how you killed it" Day.

5. For righty on a lefty - send them a fake military draft letter.

6. For a lefty to a righty retaliation - send them a fake invitation to a gay wedding.

7. For a righty on a lefty - convince all of lefty's friends to tell lefty that after a weekend at a 're-education' retreat, they are now solid Bush supporters and they now see the error of their ways (don't forget to put away the 'I *heart* Sheehan' t-shirts and Birkenstocks).

8. And, lefty to righty retaliation - convince righty that you won the lottery, but in good concience can't keep the money when so many poor people are suffering around the world. So, you've decided to donate the millions to worthy causes like the ACLU and planned parenthood... instead of selfishly keeping the money for yourself.

9. For a righty on a lefty - put a little script on their computer that forces their default home page to be always reset to "Right Wing News"

10. For a lefty to righty retaliation - fill their iPod with Dixie Chicks music and anti-war rantings with an occasional "YEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!" clip from Howard Dean spliced in.