The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns: 10 People I Could Never Trust

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Nukes and Candy had this intriguing top 10 list that I just couldn't ignore.

So, following suit, I have come up with my own top 10 profiles I just cannot trust.

1. The Morning Person: seriously, there's something fishy about waking up with the sun and being happy about it. What could possibly be so enjoyable about having that wretched morning sun burning out your retinas?

2. Consistently Tidy People: what are they trying to hide that they always need to be cleaning up? It's like a cover up. They must have some dirty little secrets to be obsessed with hiding the 'evidence'.

3. An obvious one, The Gossiper: I don't know how many times I've sat beside a friend while she was on the phone with another friend, gossiping about and backstabbing someone else. How could anyone possibly trust sharing any information with these types? Or, better question, why the heck do I visit with these people?

4. People who wear shorts in the winter: oh wait, I did that growing up. Nevermind.

5. The Cat Lady, or spinster with 40 pets: why? Because it makes me wonder what scheme they've got cooking to own so many pets. Are they training their cats to become ninja cats that will help their owner take over the world? I wonder.

6. I don't trust those who can't have a light-hearted laugh from time to time. Why be so serious all the time? What, are you too busy scheming to take over the world or something?

7. Mimes. 'Nough said.

8. Not funny, but I don't trust old men with hats who are on the road, driving. Similarly, old grannies who can't see over the steering wheel. Seriously, it's not funny. Scares the cr*p out of me.

9. People who will watch a movie with you - one that they've already seen - and they begin telling you what's going to happen next, etc. I avoid going to the movies with those people at all costs.

10. People who fart out loud in public and don't even appear embarrassed about it. Or, worse, those who point me out as the culprit when it wasn't me. Those jerks... and you know who you are!

May 2008

Comments

"People who fart out loud in public and don't even appear embarrassed about it."

It is wasted energy to care.

Dutch ovens are the best.

Posted by: the master farter | July 19, 2006 03:19 AM

hehe, this is one of the few times when I actually read a long post, and I'm glad I did because I had fun... :D hehehe I can agree with your list on more than one occassion... although umm... I'm a morning person and I love waking up early... does that mean I'm a very untrustworthy person? :)

Posted by: Mae | July 19, 2006 04:36 AM

Mae - glad you enjoyed it. As for the trusting the morning person thing, I'd like to trust you, I really would, and you are probably a very trustworthy person, but mornings? I just can't fathom enjoying mornings. Even if I try real hard, I just can't understand what is so appealing about waking up with that horrid sun and the smell of 'freshness' in the air.

Ugh!

Lol.

And, to the master farter - remind me not to walk beside you on a busy street, lol.

Posted by: Sam | July 19, 2006 04:57 AM

8. Not funny, but I don't trust old men with hats who are on the road, driving. ... Scares the cr*p out of me.

Cool -- in 20 years I will finally be the object of your fear. MUHUHUHUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Posted by: McGehee | July 19, 2006 07:02 AM

(At which time I will of course take over the world. Who needs ninja cats?)

Posted by: McGehee | July 19, 2006 07:03 AM

*prrrrprrrt*

Cut that out, Sam!

Posted by: Dave D | July 19, 2006 11:30 AM

"The Cat Lady, or spinster with 40 pets: why? Because it makes me wonder what scheme they've got cooking to own so many pets."

The key word there is "cooking". Enough said.

Posted by: BobG | July 19, 2006 12:37 PM

I agree with your entire list. (Particularly morning people at #1... it's bad enough that these people exist, but somehow they were permitted to run the world. If I ran the world, anyone who awoke before noon would be shot.) Although I think "ninja cats" should have gotten a separate item on the list. I definitely do not trust ninja cats.

Posted by: Mediocre Fred | July 19, 2006 01:20 PM

Lol, Dave D. You're terrible.

McGehee - I'm going to have to keep my eye out for you.

BobG - I don't know why that comment has me hungering for Chinese tonight.

Mediocre Fred - Good point, those things freak me out too, especially the one in that video.

Posted by: Sam | July 19, 2006 01:49 PM

Hahaha! Sam, we have a lot in common.

"The Cat Lady, or spinster with 40 pets: ...."

You scored an olympic goal with this one!

Posted by: Nukes and Candy | July 19, 2006 03:02 PM

Thanks, Nukes and Candy.

Posted by: Sam | July 19, 2006 03:10 PM