The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Thanks again Jim for sending these funny, but true news bits.

A 5-year-old boy in Broward County, Fla., preparing to enter kindergarten, is believed by gender-identity experts to be the youngest kid in the country whose family supports his decision to live completely as the other sex (according to a May profile in New Times Broward-Palm Beach). The parents doubt that the unnamed now-girl (dubbed "Nicole Anderson" in the article) is "just going through a phase," because of "her" early, constant, and insistent female preferences and comments, e.g., "I want the fairy princess to come and make my penis into a vagina." [New Times Broward- Palm Beach, 5-18-06]

You know, I know some 5 year olds who want to be astronauts; should we send them into space, too?

A British government agency recently decided to spend the equivalent of $33 million over 10 years to encourage women and minorities to become fishermen (or fisherwomen) because too many anglers are white, male and middle-aged; a Welsh pilot project, for example, teaches Muslim women and children to fish for trout. [UPI, 4-2-06]

Teach a woman to fish by having her nag the fish to death (oooo, burn on my own gender, for shame Sam, for shame)

Ernest G. Johnson, 42, was arrested in Shreveport, La., in May after he, posing as an insurance company employee, roamed the corridors at LSU Hospital seeking to photograph women wearing casts. Said a police detective, "It's like all he wants is to be in the presence of a woman with a cast on and have her attention." [KTBS-TV (Shreveport), 5-22-06]

Maybe that's the only way he can get a date - if they're incapacitated.

And in April in Wausau, Wis., Thomas Vogedes, 58, was sentenced to six months' probation for incidents in which he hung dozens of bras and panties (new and used) from car mirrors and videotaped them. [Wausau Daily Herald, 4- 5-06]

Uhhhh... okay.

They're going to have to start making up names for all these new sexual fetishes; society seems to be getting really nuts.