The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns: Double The Pleasure, Double The Fun

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And, no, this is not about Doublemint Gum.

It's about a man with diphallus, or two penises.

An Indian businessman born with two penises wants one of them removed surgically as he wants to marry and lead a normal sexual life, a newspaper report said Saturday.

The 24-year-old man from the northern state of Uttar Pradesh admitted himself to a New Delhi hospital this week with an extremely rare medical condition called penile duplication or diphallus, the Times of India said.

"Two fully functional penes is unheard of even in medical literature. In the more common form of diphallus, one organ is rudimentary," the newspaper quoted a surgeon as saying.

The surgery was expected to be challenging as both organs were well-formed and full blood supply to the retained penis had to be ensured to allow it to function normally, he added.

I don't know why he'd want to remove one; now he can marry both a donkey and a real woman.

I wonder if he has double the horniness, or double the "sex on the brain".

Fellas, if you were born with two, would you want to remove one? Could you lop off your best buddy?

Ouch.

Now, I think what would really make the news is if a woman with two hoo-hoos wanted to remove one.

What would that be called anyhow? Dicoochie? Multi-Twat?

May 2008

Comments

He could always marry twins!

Posted by: Diane | August 24, 2006 02:43 AM

Come again*?

* quaint Britishism for "Would you please repeat that?" (but highly double-entendrable)

Posted by: Mr.D. | August 24, 2006 04:27 AM

To answer the question, Sam, I think I'd take the attitude that they were actually supposed to be one large penis, inadvertantly installed wrong. I'd tell the doctor to correct the mistake.

Posted by: McGehee | August 24, 2006 04:39 AM

"Now, I think what would really make the news is if a woman with two hoo-hoos wanted to remove one."

How would that be done? Spackle?

Posted by: McGehee | August 24, 2006 04:40 AM

"one large penis"

should have read:

"one larger penis"

Posted by: McGehee | August 24, 2006 04:41 AM

Hmmm...Two hands...Two...

Posted by: von | August 24, 2006 06:54 AM

No, he needs to marry that chick with the two vaginas. That would be 'quadruple the pleasure, quadruple the fun'.

Posted by: Stacy | August 24, 2006 08:28 AM

I bet he pees twice as fast as a normaly penised person!

Posted by: ole blue | August 24, 2006 08:34 AM

"Two fully functional penes is unheard of even in medical literature.

"Penes" is the plural of penis? I guess you really do learn something new every day.

Posted by: K in Dallas | August 24, 2006 08:53 AM

Could he screw on onto the end of the other?Size matters, you know.

Posted by: Ignatius Dedd | August 24, 2006 09:27 AM

Wouldn't the chicks enjoy it just as much ?

Posted by: MacBros | August 24, 2006 03:46 PM

Actually, there have been several men with more than one functional penis. I believe the doctor was only stating that the secong penis was rudimentary only in cases of specific diphallus . Two functional penises is possible in cases of parasitic twins.

Francesco Lentini was said to have function in both penises (as far as erection) and Juan Baptista dos Santos's sexual prowess was well documented in Anomalies and Curiosities of Medicine as both penises were observed to be capable of elimination and erection.

Santo's was well know for his sexual prowess and there is evidence to support that he had an affair with Blanch Dumas, a three-legged french prostitute with four breasts and two vagina back in the 1860's.

http://www.thehumanmarvels.com/2006/04/blanche-dumas-3-legged-courtesan.html

~ J. Tithonus Pednaud
www.thehumanmarvels.com

Posted by: J. Tithouns Pednuad | August 24, 2006 09:32 PM