The Crazy Rants of Samantha BurnsI've Got Boobtacular News
Here are a couple of offbeat news bits found and submitted by Jim.
Conservative legislators in Ottawa, as has happened in similar cases, became enraged in June after learning that the Canada Council for the Arts had given $9,000 (Cdn) to performance artist Jess Dobkin to stage Lactation Station, a bar serving human breast milk from six contributors in a setting similar to a wine-tasting. [Canadian Press, 6-16-06]But, it's art right? What's the fuss all about? Who doesn't like booby juice?
Okay, that's gross.
And, the final story is one of the breastiest:
A Brazilian woman, shot in crossfire between police and drug dealers, was saved by her silicone breast implants. Doctors said the silicone had slowed the bullet up enough to prevent it from causing her a serious injury. Jane Selma Soares was caught up in shooting between police officers and drug traffickers in Rio de Janeiro. She told Las Ultimas Noticias newspaper that even though she tried to hide, a bullet hit her in the chest. When she got to a nearby hospital doctors realised her implants had stopped the bullet entering her body further. The doctor who treated her said: "If there was no silicone the bullet could have reached a vital organ causing serious damage." A plastic surgeon was called in to fix the damage and took the opportunity to increase the size of Mrs Soares' breasts with more silicone. She said: "I'm twice happy, first because my prosthesis saved my life and also because now I look even more beautiful." [Story filed: 14:48 Monday 23rd December 2002]If ever there was a convincing argument to get implants, this would have to be it. But, in reality, I think it's an elaborate scheme by cosmetic surgeons. They must have created this story, paid the woman, and manipulated the outcome of the event to make people believe that getting breast implants is a good thing.
Well, I'm not buying it.
Lol, yay, now I can put my name up with Charlie Sheen and other conspiracy theory wackos because I just created one of my own.
Thanks again Jim.
Comments
Did you see the story out of the Middle East (one big indistinguishable morass) where a woman was saved by her breast implants from shrapnel?
Talk about body armor! I think your conspiracy theory might hold water--or silicone...
Posted by: D. Ox | August 17, 2006 01:18 PM
Hey! Boob milk is great in coffee…unless she's been eating onions! Wonder what the butter would taste like? Cheese?
One wonders.
Posted by: Mark Shipley | August 17, 2006 03:19 PM