The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns: Moron Revealed #45

Moron of the Week - 45 - Hugo Chavez
Congratulations Committees of Correspondence for guessing correctly that this week's moron is Hugo Chavez.

This is Committees of Correspondence first win, so way to go Committees of Correspondence.

Yes, Hugo Chavez is a moron - as if we didn't already know.

Now, Chavez isn't only a tool because he secretly wants to be Cindy Sheehan's lover (*shudder*), but he's also a moron for all his idiotic Venezuelan presidential decisions.

Of late, sh*tty Chavez has been befriending narcoterrorist and arming himself wild for no apparent reason.

Just a little suspicious?

Uh, ya, I think so.

Especially after knowing that he has sworn the US as his enemy:

“Down with the U.S. empire! It must be said, in the entire world: Down with the empire!�?

He has also said,

"We have invaded the United States but with our oil."

And, he has kissed both Saddam Hussein and Fidel Castro's a$$es.

So much so, that he is considered to be the Castro Mini-Me, but I prefer to call him a mini-moron.

Further, Castr... I mean Chavez is using his greasy monopoly of oil to get himself ever closer to a position of dictatorship in democratic Venezuela.

Venezuela is the world's fifth-largest oil producer; Chavez basically controls 15 percent of U.S. oil imports. He allegedly is taking billions of dollars in revenue to grease the way to one-man rule of a country with a 50-year history of democracy.

Using the facade of bringing aid to the poor, Chavez buys himself a more totalitarian rule as he breaks his country's laws and jails or tortures anyone who speaks their mind in opposition.

Chavez has packed the Supreme Court and the army with his supporters, seized control of the country's wealth and introduced a penal code that criminalizes dissent.

If ever there was a reason to thank our lucky stars that we live in a more freedom-oriented society than most, this is it.

Not only does Chavez dangle oil monies in front of the poor to keep them voting for him, but he also drops scraps of other people's land on them.

Yes, Chavez is like a really evil, autocratic Robin Hood who steals land from hard working farmers and gives it to the squatters. He has purposely ignored his country's land ownership laws and has encouraged the poor to set up shacks on farm land.

The idea of poor people taking over private property and with the apparent help of local authorities is spreading fast across the country, which is making for some wary foreign investors.

Not too bright if you ask me, considering that farm land provides his frickin' country with FOOD!

Moron.

What farmer would want to put up with that bullsh*t? If he doesn't get his head on straight, the farmers are all going to quit and the country will be stranded for food and other necessities.

If anyone is Mister Danger, it is Chavez.

Now, for stupid Chavez quotes, there are loads of them.

For starters, when it came to the Israel-Lebanon conflict, the moron compared Israel to Hitler and their actions to the Holocaust.

Uh, not quite, you fool.

And, for some other stupidity from the mouth of the barbarian found at Malkins:

Assassination: “If they kill me, there will be a really guilty party on this planet whose name is the President of the United States, George Bush�?

Bush’s Administration: “It is a mafia, a true mafia of murderers�?

Cuba: “I am the second Fidel Castro of Latin America�?

Capitalism: “The Devil’s economic model . . . The capitalist exploitation model has destroyed oceans, entire oceans�?

Saddam Hussein: “A brother�?

Condoleezza Rice: “I cannot marry Condolencia (condolence), because I am much too busy. I have heard she dreams about me�?

I think Condi would rather puke, quite frankly.

Anyhow, that's it for this moron. Congrats again to Committees of Correspondence.