The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Hey PERVs, it's that time again, so let's get right to it.

PERV is not going to put up with grocer vegetable abuse any longer.

So, much like PETA's impudent behaviour of having a lame chicken cross the road in a wheelchair at a KFC protest, we here at PERV have planned something similar to get the point across that vegetable cruelty is wrong.

We are presently setting up a protest at Joe's Vegetorium Grocers.

Just as I'm sure PETA had to break the chicken's legs for it to appear lame (well, how else did they find a lame chicken?), I have taken a tomato and stabbed it repeatedly with a pin to make it seep and look like it's bleeding.

That should draw some emotion from the audience (even if that emotion is tears of laughter).

The event should go well.

In other PERV news, we have revealed a prototype of a toy that will help get the point across that veggie eaters are murderers.

Below is a concept drawing of the Pamela Anderson bobblehead that we will be making.

PERVs don't veg out; they play with their meat!

VIVA LA PERV!

Meeting Adjourned.

Thanks to VP PERV Diane's Stuff for the logo.