The Crazy Rants of Samantha BurnsDisturbing News From The Film Industry
There is some unpleasant news going around that tv show, Saved By The Bell's dweeby actor, Dustin Diamond, aka Screech has been caught in a sex scandal.
Oh, whoops. I should have started this with a warning message.
I'll just wait for you to get back from barfing before I continue....
Done? Okay, good.
Yes, it is believed that Screech may have a sex tape floating around out there in which he was found with two women, partaking of smutty activities.
I'm going to go ahead and guess that this one's not going to make the big bucks like the Paris Hilton or Colin Farrell tapes.
Just a hunch.
Anyhow, I thought I'd take this opportunity to suggest a few movie titles for this sex tape.
1. Dustin Diamond Dons His Dong
2. Slapped By The Balls
3. Screech Gets Screwed
4. Screech Finally Scores
5. Diamond is a Girl's Best Friend
6. Screech Goes Scrogging
7. Screech Beats The Sheets
I hope you didn't read this just after eating.
Comments
How about: DO NOT BUY THIS TAPE!
Oy gevalt. Talk about something the world does not need.
Posted by: Remulak MoxArgon | September 29, 2006 11:57 AM
Dustin makes her Screech
Posted by: oleblue | September 29, 2006 12:42 PM
Makes me want to Screech my eyes out.
Posted by: Jason![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.samanthaburns.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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September 29, 2006 01:45 PM
What has the world come to? Screech in a sex video?? and I heard the video includes a move called the filthy sanchez, if you weren't disgusted already.
I wonder if the terrorists are going to use this whole Screech sex video thing against us?
Posted by: seb | September 29, 2006 02:08 PM
Remulak MoxArgon - I fully agree.
oleblue - that's one of those "I wish I'd thought of that" comments.
Jason - I may decide not to research anything online again for fear I might bump into that video.
seb - ya, that's just what we need, eh. They're so stupid, they might just do it, too.
Posted by: Sam | September 29, 2006 02:28 PM
unfortunately Sam they'll probably use it as a sex ed film, or more likly a "10 reasons why the infidels must die show" , yeah real popular over there, its on nightly, lol, as intelligent as these guys are, oh yeah :)
Posted by: madd | September 30, 2006 08:38 AM
madd - Ugh, one would have to be pretty sick to watch Screech bumpin' uglies, even if it were used as propaganda for attacking enemies.
*shudder*
Posted by: Sam | September 30, 2006 09:20 PM
Just thought of something. This *shudder* sex tape will probably rank in history about as well as that Showgirls movie with that Saved by the Bell actress, Elizabeth Berkley.
Or even as well as Son in Law with Tiffani-Amber Thiessen and another dweeb who I wouldn't want to know about his sex life, Pauly Shore.
K, I really am getting sick to the stomach now.
Posted by: Sam | October 1, 2006 12:34 AM
Sam, maybe we should be really, really glad they didn't make one together...ok now that I've got that visual I am going to be ill...
Posted by: madd | October 1, 2006 07:39 AM
let's see Zach get him out of this one
Posted by: J Rob | October 1, 2006 06:21 PM
Lol, I'd say good one J Rob, but that would incriminate me as a watcher of that programme.
Posted by: Sam | October 1, 2006 06:46 PM