The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Wanna find out what kind of drunk you are?

Here are the alcohoroscopes.

And, here's mine:

Drinking style:

Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.

Okay, it's all true, but I'm still going to pretend to be offended.