The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Hat Tip: Shock and Blog for this butt-clencher.

So, let's list all the ways to cure hiccups, or hiccoughs as some people call them.

There's hold your breath, scare the person, drink a glass of water while upside down, and of course, rectal stimulation.

Yes, you read that correctly, rectal stimulation:

The winner of the Ig Nobel prize in medicine was Francis Fesmire, of University Hospital in Florida, for a study that showed that intractable hiccups can be terminated by "digital rectal massage".

"Initially, gagging and tongue pulling manoeuvres were attempted with no change in symptomatology," Dr Fesmire wrote in a study published in the Annals of Emergency Medicine. "Digital rectal massage was then attempted using a slow circumferential motion. The frequency of hiccups immediately began to slow, with a termination of all hiccups within 30 seconds," the valiant scientist found.

I'll live with it.

What's slightly ironic about the situation is that the dr. who wrote the rectal probing paper doesn't know whether to be honoured or embarrassed for his recognition, and he wishes he were recognised for his cardiac research instead. He claims that the paper was based on one case, which was the one and only time he'd ever attempted that procedure.

Ya, sure it was. Lol.

The dr. added, "I saw this patient who couldn't stop his hiccups, I tried these other manoeuvres, and then I stuck my finger in his bottom," Fesmire said, emphasizing that it was the treatment of last resort. "Will I ever do it again? No!"

Well, that's a relief.

Article over. You may unclench your buttocks now.