The Crazy Rants of Samantha BurnsIt Was Concealed Alright
Well, when you're naked and the police are after you, you've got to hide your weapon somewhere.
Naked man arrested after pulling awl from rectum
Passers-by called officers about 7:50 a.m. to report that a naked man was lying on a tree stump beside the Ohlone Greenway path, exposing himself and masturbating.Those wacky Sheehans.Police saw 33-year-old John Sheehan and arrested him on suspicion of indecent exposure.
Officers led him to the nearest street, the 2000 block of Kearney Avenue. Before putting Sheehan in the back of his car, Sgt. Paul Keith asked him if he had anything on him that police should know about.
Sheehan replied that he had hidden a screwdriver in his anal cavity, Horgan said.
That's at least two of them now, that I know of, who have something stuck up their a$$.
I suspect that this guy was not mentally disturbed until Cindy came along. Nowadays, he's probably just plain old mortified that he shares the same last name.
Poor fella.
Comments
Was it a Phillips, Frearson or Normal tip?
These are the details the people want to know. Seriously, I am appalled at the standard of journalism these days.
Posted by: Mr Angry | November 9, 2006 05:51 AM
See, I'm a believer that, in this instance, the screwdriver wasn't a weapon but a sex-toy.
Sometimes, when you are naked and masturbating in a park, you just can't get a finger all the way around there and you need a little something else to help.
Posted by: Dylan | November 9, 2006 07:36 AM
Could have been worse; he could have been carrying a sawed-off shotgun...
Posted by: BobG | November 9, 2006 09:31 AM
Masturbating in public with a screw driver up my butt, not my idea of a good time.
Ahh, the times, they sure are a changin'.
Posted by: seb | November 9, 2006 09:59 AM
Dare I say it? I dare.
He gave his awl.
*ducks barrage of rotten produce*
Posted by: Jason![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.samanthaburns.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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November 9, 2006 11:10 AM
Wonder if the police put out an awl points bulletin on him.
Posted by: Jason![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.samanthaburns.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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November 9, 2006 11:13 AM
How the hell do you show a screwd'........ Actually, never mind. I don't wanna know.
Posted by: MacBros | November 9, 2006 11:21 AM
show = shove.
Posted by: MacBros | November 9, 2006 11:22 AM
This fool would have been in bad shape for sure if he'd tried to put a pipe wrench up in there!
Makes one wonder where's the rest of his tool chest is.
Posted by: Mark Shipley | November 9, 2006 05:10 PM
Sheehan replied that he had hidden a screwdriver in his anal cavity, Horgan said.
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Probably not as discomforting as the fellow who stuck a firecracker up there and lit it to celebrate Guy Fawkes Day.
Posted by: Dan Kauffman![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.samanthaburns.com/nav-commenters.gif)
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November 9, 2006 07:59 PM