The Crazy Rants of Samantha BurnsNews Of The Odd Sort
Here's some more great news brought to us by Jim.
In a September raid, sheriff's deputies in Vista, Calif., seized jars of urine from the home of a suspected methamphetamine user. Deputies said the user appeared to be saving his own urine in order to extract, and reuse, the meth he had already used. A Drug Enforcement Administration agent said he was unsure whether the practice was widespread. [North County Times (Escondido, Calif.), 9-15-06]You know you're addicted to narcotics when...? I don't know about you, but when I start drinking my own p*ss, I'll seriously consider getting some help for my problems, lol.
A September episode of the periodic NBC "Dateline" stings of online child sex predators, in Long Beach, Calif., turned up 38 arrestees, including one who is apparently beyond embarrassment, since he had already been busted once by "Dateline." [Los Angeles Times, 9-11-06]Another addiction, perhaps? But, clearly, if they're busting the same pedophiles over and over again, perhaps the punishment ain't workin', eh.
Alfred Thomas Steven, 69, was arrested in the La Purisma Mission park in Lompoc, Calif., in September, and cited for trespassing and animal cruelty for attempting to satisfy himself sexually with a horse. According to police, Steven apparently had anointed himself with olive oil and coated his nude body in feed grain or oats, and then lay down so that the horse would nibble and lick him. Deputies said he told them that it was a longtime fantasy. [KSBY-TV (San Luis Obispo, Calif.), 9-6-06]Some days, I'm so glad I'm not a police officer.
I guess it only makes sense, though, I mean, look at the guy's age. He probably planned this years ago to be part of his 69th birthday adventure. I just wonder if he coated the oats on every part of his body.
Ouch.
Comments
Just the usual pee pee packing, pedophile policing, and pony penile poking.
Posted by: McCain | November 2, 2006 02:09 PM
"But Wilbur, I'm not that kind of horse..."
(Is the reference too vague?)
Posted by: BobG | November 2, 2006 03:23 PM
Once while feeding a horse carrots, someone told me to be sure and hold it on my flat open palm because if the horse mistook my finger for the carrot it could easily chomp it off...need I say more?
Posted by: Heather | November 2, 2006 06:32 PM