The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns

Some more great news came my way thanks to Jim.

Underachieving former St. Thomas Law School (Miami) student Thomas Bentey filed a federal class action lawsuit against the school in August, alleging that it knew when it accepted him that he couldn't muster the necessary 2.5 grade-point average to stay in school (and thus defrauded him, and dozens of his classmates of similar talent). [National Lew Journal, 9-1-06]

I'm sure if you looked at the kid, you'd know right away.

Duh.

Christopher Bordne, 17, was arrested in September in Newton, Mass., after a police officer, waiting behind Bordne at a traffic light at 1:40 a.m. through several light changes, checked to find Bordne with his foot on the brake but otherwise sound asleep. After yelling at Bordne and rapping repeatedly on the window with his flashlight, the officer watched as Bordne woke up, drove off and crashed into a tree. [Daily News Tribune (Newton), 9-19-06]

And, who wants to bet the kid sues the officer for waking him and causing him to crash?

Adult video star Mary Carey, once again running for governor of California, said she is a new person from the woman who was an also-ran in 2003: "I've got brown in my hair (instead of the 2003 blond) because brunettes are taken more seriously." She said she also has lost weight, replaced her teeth, gotten breast implants, and given up smoking, contraceptives and alcohol. "I've actually been sober for five days now," she said on Aug. 9. (Carey dropped out of the race on Oct. 23 to care for her mother, who is recovering after a recent fall.) [Reuters, 8-9-06]

Like, brown is taken, like, so much seriouslier.

You know.

Tee-hee.

And, like, sober for, like, 5 days. That's, like, so hot.

Tee-hee.